April 29, 2023
Sraddhalu (0:00:31):
[To Alina: You are muted.]
Alina (0:00:36):
Namaste. Namaste Sraddhalu.
Sraddhalu (0:00:41):
Namaste. Happy to be with all of you.
Alina (0:00:44):
Welcome back to our continuing series, Evenings with Sraddhalu. Today we have Part II on the masculine and the feminine. We will continue our exploration on this theme, on the distinctions between the masculine and the feminine, which was begun last time. As usually, you may post your questions in our chat box during our conversations or you may send an email beforehand at our email ID: integralstudies.in[at]gmail.com. So we had some questions that emerged from this topic and I will address the first question of Shushma.
Sraddhalu (0:01:34):
I think, we'll keep for the questions later, I'll first get on the topic.
Alina (0:01:37):
Shall we? Okay. Okay, then we will invite Sraddhalu to give us an introduction and …
Sraddhalu (0:01:47):
Yes. So this theme of the “Masculine & Feminine” came up as part of our discussion on education. Keep that at the back of the mind. We will return to education maybe a couple of sessions down. But since we are on the theme, I want to amplify it to the maximum possible. We were discussing various types of nature, soul types, temperament, qualities, and as part of that we saw the gender distinction as something significant, and in order to appreciate that better we went to its root all the way to the top. So in the discussion last time, which I would highly recommend for you to review if you have already seen it, but if you have not seen it then definitely watch that before watching this, where we had discussed the origin of this duality in the creative consciousness which takes up the stance of the Purusha and the Prakriti and necessary to have a dual stance for the purpose of having any creation, we saw the rationale for that.
We saw how that duality can be understood in so many different ways because the truth of it is held at a level which is above mind. So articulating in thought, you get multiple pairings of the duality, the conception of energy and manifestation of energy, or knowledge of consciousness and power of consciousness to manifest, and so on. And I kind of abstracted it to stability and flow as the two essential characteristics of the Purusha, Prakriti aspects of consciousness. And we saw how this operates on levels of consciousness in the higher worlds. And then as we come down to the more material ranges, it acquires a greater physicality and distinction. So we took certain examples of the material world where you have also this duality, let's say, positive and negative as electric charges, or hot and cold, or rigidity of bone and fluidity of muscle, and so on.
And we took a few examples of that in order to see how finally everywhere you'll find this duality absolutely necessary for anything to be realised and a kind of a complementarity between the two, both needed always in right proportion and relation. And then finally, after the psychological, first the spiritual, then the psychological passage, we came to the biological aspect which then connects into the gender. Until then, everything we have discussed is purely in terms of consciousness and forms of consciousness, but nowhere bound to gender as such.
In the biological domain, we saw that there is a, because it is part of the physical world, there is a rigidity, a fixity, limitation of capacity, infusion of instincts which come with the gender distinctions also, stages and timing of unfoldment, etc., which are all characteristic of the material world and of biology generally, and the symbolism of that higher truth attempted to be represented in these vehicles that nature builds for the soul's aspiration to align to this or that aspect or experience or participate in the aspect of the Ishwara or the Shakti aspect of the Divine.
(0:05:10):
But vehicles built which have already that slant in the biological design itself and therefore we find the fixity of the male-female form and temperament and tendencies which is not there in the psychological and naturally not there in the spiritual where it is one consciousness taking up tilting more this way more that way in its poise, at its origin it takes this supporting aspect or expressive aspect. And it's quite distinct, non-moving, moving. Or as Sri Aurobindo points out, this is of course in the Sankhya, this rigidity of the stance, as Sri Aurobindo points out, it was in the Bhagavad Gita it takes a different, he gives it the position of the… not only the witness but also the creator. So the point is there are two poises, but a single consciousness taking two poises. Here in the biology, it's as if two different consciousnesses given different slants. And so, it's not exactly the same thing.
And yet because of the alignment, because nature wants to, as if, create vehicles for that, even in the Sanskrit language and in the yoga tradition, the vocabulary of ‘Purusha’ and ‘Prakriti’ is actually used even to describe the male and the female in their role in life. And so a man would be referred to as a ‘Purush’ and sometimes a woman is referred to as ‘Prakriti’ even. So, or, other terms used which particularly highlight the physical aspect. So all this is to say that what we are describing now is purely represented in symbolism. It is not a binding to your consciousness. It will be completely wrong to say that ‘As a male I am the Purusha aspect’ or as a female somebody is the Prakriti aspect. That is completely wrong. Within each one of us, the one-consciousness has to take both poises. So we saw examples of that last time.
But in the biological encasing and to some extent in the psychological, Nature has given it a slant to highlight certain characteristics or give a natural advantage initiating of those characteristics. If you do nothing, you have those as an advantage. Remember, all of this still belongs to the phase of animal evolution, where Nature had to programme the animals. There was not much choice. You couldn't wait for the animal to become conscious and take charge and develop specific capacities. So Nature had to hardwire in the biology. The moment she has come to the human, there's a tremendous effort of Nature itself to free from this limitation of the biological encasement and yet to slant with the advantages that the encasement can provide. And this is what we are going to explore a little bit today, what are those advantages or disadvantages or what happens when there is an effective partnership.
But it is critical to make this distinction that unlike modern, let's say, evolutionary biology which looks at the male and female distinctions from an evolutionary down-to-up approach, we are looking at the whole thing from a top-down approach where we look at this consciousness, taking two poises, and then how that operates or reflects or aligns to this, these moulds, including the gender moulds. So, in the, when you see top-down, you understand the truth of why things are the way they are below. When you see bottom-up, it seems arbitrary: well, Nature created two genders. She need not, as she can show with certain fish. She can make any fish reproduce, she can have them switch genders according to the temperature of the waters, etc., or just have one gender which does everything. Why have two genders?, Or why not make three? It seems arbitrary. It seems more as an accident of evolution. Of course you can give explanations for advantages but they were not needed. And so, bottom-up, you don't understand why, but you make the serious error of projecting these gender distinctions onto the higher consciousness and say, ‘Ah that is the masculine-divine and this is the feminine-divine’. Oh-no, that's a big mistake.
So you will find in the new-age movement, this very fashionable term, of course now you go overboard in trying to praise the feminine as something extraordinary, so they will say ‘feminine wisdom’. And then what happens to masculine? Masculine cannot have wisdom? ‘No-no-no, wisdom is always feminine.’ Masculine is what? And then they'll throw everything they don't like into that category. This is all artificial. Wisdom is wisdom. It's neither masculine nor feminine. It is wisdom, it is a divine wisdom of infinite potential of knowledge.
(0:10:13):
But when encased or expressed through the feminine, let's say, vehicle or receptacle, or encased and expressed through the masculine or male receptacle, there is a slant, but that's the slanting of the wisdom according to the vehicle and not of the wisdom itself. So, in the politically correct fashionable turns, they will say, divine feminine. So, I have participated in many such conferences and then eventually somebody who was a man, we, we all shared our bits about it and then one man said, ‘What about divine masculine?’. And then there was complete silence and nobody wanted to speak. So I said, ‘Okay, we wait, maybe once this goes out of fashion, eventually someone will come up with the divine masculine and then, and so on’.
So it would be an error to project bottom-up. We have to understand top-down and then only we understand why nature built the vehicles in this way. So a lot of this was discussed last time, I won't repeat, but this is just to recapitulate and set the framework for today's discussion. It, one question that comes up in this kind of specialisation that Nature has created, let us say in the male vehicle and the female vehicle. We saw examples last time of the brain and the distinction in the brain structure, particularly the centre region which links the left and right brain. In women we saw is larger, in male, men it is smaller but with more connections and we saw how that affects the psychology and even way of thinking to some extent.
But why in nature's way was there a necessity to lose one faculty in order to optimise for another? For example, we saw last time that in the male biology, if you increase the testosterone, the certain capacities, even faculties, of rotating an image, visualising in 3D, automatically activate. And you can take a female body, increase the testosterone, and that faculty activates. Or there are faculties which are normal to the female, not present in the male, where you reduce the testosterone, increase oestrogen, those faculties would tend to activate. So, why did nature make it such that certain faculties had to be subdued in order to highlight the other? Was it necessary? Could she not have created a being in which all these faculties were simultaneously present and equally developed, at least to the extent of that person's evolution?
So, the answer to that is to say that it was not necessary. It was not needed for either reproduction or for survival. So bottom-up, you don't get an answer. Top-down, you get an answer because you realise: Well, Nature wanted to slant this particular line of consciousness, this particular poise of consciousness and strengthen that and build a vehicle for the other line of consciousness and strengthen that, therefore this highlighting of certain faculties and other faculties and then some in common, of course everyone has all of them, but the highlighting, the exaggeration of some or the other makes for the natural template of the replica, and I used the word “caricature” last time, of the Purusha and the Prakriti aspect in human vessels. So this is the only way you will understand why nature had to do this bias.
But our soul nature is neither masculine nor feminine. It is infinite potential. It’s neither male nor female. But in the journey of its evolution, it may choose to align with more this aspect of the divine experience or that aspect working on both perhaps but eventually finding greater fulfilment in one or other. So the correspondence of those high above are Nature's attempt to imitate only and they do not represent any compulsion or requirement.
This is very important for us to understand because it means for us, each one of us, irrespective of what our encasing body and psychology is, we must consciously work to develop all of our faculties, taking advantage of the things which are better developed in us as a starting point because of our gender or other inherited tendencies or even soul qualities. We amplify, work upon those and those which we don't have, well, we use the strengths to develop the others.
So last time there was a question which had come, I think we will look at this question in, the first question from Sushma, if you can take a look at that.
Alina! I don’t know if you can hear! Okay.
Alina (0:15:27):
Yes yes yes yes, I was just blocked for a few seconds. Sushma wrote: “I'm a woman but geometry, 3D, and all came very naturally to me. All of the advanced mathematics felt as though I knew it in my heart. I am really good with maps and directions, more so than my husband. I love sitting and building furniture too. I'm not sure if I put extra effort since all of this came extremely easy to me. I'm not sure if I have some more testosterone. I am a mom of a two year old and my nurturing side came out only after becoming the mom. I do cry very easily and I'm extremely sensitive to my surroundings as well. I was equally into sports and arts growing up. I'm not sure where I stand and which side I should nurture.
Sraddhalu (0:16:30):
Yes, I am, I'm so happy to have got this question from Sushma. You remember, last time we discussed certain tendencies which are natural for the male-mind- and for the female-mind-emotion complex. And what Sushma is saying is that she has had from childhood some of these capacities which otherwise many women or most women don't find easy to activate this; 3D, geometry came naturally, advanced mathematics, she felt as if she knew it in her heart, she was good with maps and directions, fitting furniture, and so on. But, I think, even for you to highlight all these, you were conscious that other girls were not. This is interesting. And then she makes this very interesting observation, as a mother her nurturing side came out only after becoming a mother. And although she cries easily, and etc., she has the sensitivity of the woman, she was equally good with sports and arts, and so on.
And this I would point to as an example of what Nature is striving to help us grow towards. What earlier in the animal stage of evolution was more like a specialisation and then an incapacity to outgrow the specialisation. In the human being she had actually worked now to build the capacities on both sides equally but without losing the strengths of the distinctions. So we see in Sushma's case, for example, this extreme sensitivity to the surroundings and the free flow of emotions which allows her to cry easily and yet all those other faculties which normally are not more developed in women unless they make an effort, they were already ingrained, inborn in her.
Now there could be two reasons.
One is already within the heredity this work has been done, in which case you would see a similar pattern among your siblings, and if you don't, then it means that it was the soul quality which was brought, work done in previous lives, which was brought and infused into this body and mind complex. And so, when you ask this question, ‘I am not sure where I stand and which side I should nurture’, my simple answer and for everybody would be: Do not think of sides. Our goal should be to nurture and develop up all, the full spectrum of our infinite potential. And then we will do it with whatever a bias of our current vehicle, container, is and the work done in past lives. So I am also conscious that many of my artistic skills and certain sensitivities are not from this life, they come from a previous work done. But it was in a more artistic side which in this side came almost spontaneously, certain things came almost spontaneously because of work done.
So think of it this way: All of us, we are on a journey which is spanning many-many-many lives across the centuries. Don't think of this life alone, you don't have to remember what you did in past lives, it's not necessary, it's even a distraction and a great burden. It's good we have forgotten. But the essential content of work done, faculties developed, capacities created and built, and integrated in the soul personality, that is here. And if you find certain capacities and especially if you are young, develop them. Develop them to the maximum that you can given the time and energy and capacity that you have. Reach the boundary of what you can do and then push some more, push the boundaries.
(0:20:02):
And all of this, especially if you have a reasonably clear centre of aspiration, all of these will be integrated around that and will be part of your psychic personality into the next, and into the next, in successive lives. And if your body is not young, your personality is not so young, doesn't matter, what you do to push the boundaries still irrespective of your age will remain which has a capacity and a fluidity, flexibility, or skill developed and will be taken into the next.
So think in these terms: You are here to explore the full range of possibilities that you are able to manifest but also through experiences to grow to help these possibilities develop. So, Sushma's question is very important because it shows you that especially when we are more mature, more conscious in our evolution spiritually, all these distinctions don't matter. And yet there is a bias, but the bias is only a strength. It amplifies a unique way, a unique approach, a unique possibility as a vehicle. So I'm going to leave it at this, and you will see examples of how that uniqueness will stand in our further discussion.
In last time's discussion also, Gracy had posted a line from Savitri which I thought to read:
“Thus have they made their play with us for roles:
Author and actor with himself as scene,
He moves there as the Soul, as Nature she.”
So it's the Soul and Nature play. Within us we have both soul and nature, but our overall personality is more aligned to amplifying the Soul, Purusha aspect, or the Prakriti or Shakti, Nature-aspect. And this slight tilt is what we will explore now for both its advantages and limitations and then how the two can be brought together.
So I continue with the, the few examples I had taken last time about distinctions in the biological form itself. In a woman I had said that the nerve endings are many more, even on the skin surface, but also we saw in all the senses, there is a greater refinement of fine gradations in hearing, in sight, in smell and substantially more than a male. And it is just an advantage right from the beginning. If you take the trouble, if you work on your artistic skills, observe colours, listen carefully, pay attention to smell, as a male you can also develop these, but you have to make that effort.
So that being the case, I had briefly touched on this, the intensity of sensations but also intensity of emotions is much higher in women. Some of it tied to the bridge between the left-right brain, but some of it tied to also the flow of hormones. Inherently, in a woman, the fluctuations of hormones are part of the life. As you know, there are the lunar cycles which take place every month and which are tied to the biology but involve hormonal fluctuations, and the moon represents in astrology, you know, the emotional mind, the artistic mind, and so on. So, one finds these connections interesting. There is this fluctuation and flow in the emotions, but the intensity of the emotions experienced also in the female body is much greater than the intensity of emotions experienced in the male body.
Now I am going to describe it in this way and some of it one can do biology, some of it one can do by psychological process. In a woman's consciousness, when you feel the experience of the emotions and the fluctuating range of emotions, let's say it's a large range, as you shift to the male consciousness, masculine characteristics, you find the whole thing narrowing down and dulling in intensity, range becomes narrow and the content becomes dulled. Now in the male, the same thing would correspond with a much narrower range of fluctuation, but also the intensities are lost. It's literally as if you're looking at rich colours and then suddenly your vision narrows and all the colours become more greyish. That's the nature of the radical transition in the emotional pain in women and men purely from the biological support of it. What this also means is that the experience of body and experience of emotion is much more vivid in the female body. And so a woman naturally tends to identify with her emotions without any prior effort. Of course, it's more open. And so you may say, ‘Ha-yes, but Nature designed the woman for giving birth’. Okay, but you could have also switched it. She could have made it so that a woman could control her emotions and narrow them down when needed and make it as needed when not ready to give birth. But you see, it's not so simple. She has chosen two vehicles.
So, in the male, on the other hand, there is equally a corresponding, with the dulling of emotions, a freeing of the mind from the emotional fluctuation, which allows a much greater clarity and wideness. How much? Well, depends on how much you've trained it. Because in the evolution, the mind has not been fully developed in all of humanity equally. Remember, we have emerged from the animal somewhat recently, a few million years ago perhaps, I don't know exactly how much, but it's much more than what they tell us in history, it's not 10,000 years, it’s, it's actually a few million years, we have had many cycles before. But even with that, the development of the mind in the mass of humanity has not gone too far, not gone too far beyond the emotional mind. And therefore, it's not in everyone that this advantage is immediately seen. But in those who have developed, and it could be a woman equally, the clarity that comes with the mind and freed of emotions, and a wideness, clarity, it's a relief.
(0:26:25):
So from a man, if you are in that clarity and you shift to the poise of consciousness which is natural to the embodiment of woman, you will find the mind gradually becoming coloured as if dulled, narrowed and then a strong emotional outflow beginning to open up here and then joining with the mind. Now at the moment of this joining, the natural tendency is to be drawn to that which is more intense. Ah! Emotion is intense, mind is not intense, so-yeah, it's there, but it feels almost like something floating on top of the emotions.
What do you do then? If you have not consciously chosen to value and develop the mind, the mind becomes now an appendage to the emotional being. It's there. You can develop it logically. I've seen lawyers, women lawyers, with the ability to argue out, but it's only there as an appendage, they don't live in the emotion, err.. the thought, they live in the emotion, and thought is used to justify emotion, and sometimes pretty complex thoughts. It's interesting to observe this. And why? ‘Well, this is so much more intense, why would I let go of it?’ And then, in some women, and I don't know how much of it comes from biology, how much from the soul-content, the example we had from Sushma is, would be a good example there, the turn of mind and the enjoyment of the mind development, because already done before, is available, the emotions are there, but a choice is made that this is going to be prior, higher, more important, and a deliberate shift made of living more in the mind.
Now I am pointing this out because for a woman, this choice to shift into mind has to be made deliberately if you want to take full advantage of this potential you have, and then the choice to stay in mind and not fall back and wallow in emotions at the first chance of an intense emotion. This has to be consciously attempted, and it does not take much. Based on a few examples that I have seen, so it's limited to that, for those who already have something of this opening of mind, once you start choosing this, you do feel something is lost. But after a while, there is a great clarity and a joy that comes with it, and then the emotions adjust, they take their rightful place in relation to the mind, and everything falls into place.
The Mother makes an observation about this when she is speaking to the women of Japan. Remember, this is now a little over a hundred years ago. And when she speaks to them, she says that women have a different way of thinking, and they should not try to imitate the way of thinking of men and rather build the strength of their characteristic way of thinking. But, so, don't worry about losing your way. If you choose to poise yourself much more in the mind, hold that poise, you will find that you will have your own characteristic way, you won't lose it, and yet you will have this clarity and not find the emotions overwhelming. When you find the emotions beginning to rise for whatever reason, shift the poise of the mind, shift into the poise of the mind and you will find the emotions won't overwhelm. But if the instinct is allowed, the instinct flows with the emotion, identifies with the intensity and then that clouds the mind and then you lose it. By repeatedly doing this you will find the fluctuation in the body, emotion and even in the hormones will gradually settle and come into conscious control of the mind-awareness, even to a point where literally many of the distressing symptoms that come with the menstrual cycle dramatically reduce.
And Mother makes an observation about this. She says that in a healthy woman, those symptoms are, should be so much reduced that you would hardly notice that it is there. And the passage to this kind of a freedom will come by consciously identifying with the mind and putting the emotions in their right place and not choosing to not wallow or flow or be drawn into the emotions.
(0:30:41):
I had mentioned last time a passage from Sri Aurobindo where he speaks about this distinction uh between men and women and I would like to read from that. I am very wary as I said last time about reading of such things because there is a tendency for people to criticise it today because it is fashionable to make it seem as if there is no difference, or when one describes a difference in terms which may seem to be as if seen from a male perspective or which may seem to be deprecating to one or the other. Somehow it is not fashionable to deprecate a male, but it’s fashionable to deprecate, it’s not, yeah, it’s fashionable to not deprecate a female. But we are going to set all this aside, just go with the thing and try to understand it for the deeper truth it represents. Don't get too caught up with the form of the wording.
So, what Sri Aurobindo says, this is in response to somebody who asks a question about uh getting married, and this was way back in 1925, before the formal establishment of the Ashram, so there were these meetings, uh from this is I think from Purani's notes of the meetings with Sri Aurobindo, and somebody had written a letter about wanting to, he wanted to get married, or he had some questions about sexual relations with his wife because he was practicing the Yoga, and so on. So, so he is describing what goes on first between the relationship between men and women. I am taking two or three passages and merging them. He says that this vital interchange when two people meet is very common and so what happens there, he says:
“You find some people cannot do without meeting others. What is after all the passion of man and woman for each other? Nothing but this vital interchange, this drawing in of forces from each other. When a woman has a need of someone else, that means she is in need of a vital force from him. Woman and man running after each other means this interchange or drawing. Of course, it takes place unconsciously; even in ordinary life when a person does not like another he does not know the reason but it means that their vital beings don't agree. You know the lines.” And he quotes from a poet, I think, English poet:
“I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,
The reason why I can not tell.”
He says: “One may not know exactly if it is the incapacity of the vital or disagreement. You see' people – men and women – quarrelling violently with each other and yet they can't do without each other; that is because each has a need of the vital force from the other. Of course the need has been imposed on the woman by man. Woman has almost always such a necessity. That is what is called being in love. In all societies they established the husband-and-wife relation so that this exchange and interchange may be limited to each other and an equation may be established.
“Disciple: But if one draws more, then there is a risk.
Sri Aurobindo: “Of course. If one receives more than what he gives then there may be bad consequences for the other. You know what Hindu Astrology says about ‘Rakshasa Yoga’…”.
A yoga is not as in the yoga-practice, it is a conjunction of two planets, so there is a conjunction which is Divine and a conjunction which is rakshasic, so he says: “a husband who loses many wives one after another means that instead of supporting them he is eating them up.” So sometimes this is seen in certain patterns in the chart.
Disciple: “What are vampires?
Sri Aurobindo: “Those who constantly draw from others' vital beings without giving anything in return we call vampires.” So, and then again continuing he says: “There are men vampires … there are women vampires. There is also the vital which is expansive in its nature. In such a case one has the need of pouring out the vital force. But there is again another kind of expansive vital which is the Hitlerian vital, catching hold of other people and keeping them under one’s grip.” And so on.
So, this is to give one part of the background, and this was from 1938. So I go to the other one which was specific to this. Okay. So this is in regard the question of his marriage, this person asks what should he do.
And Sri Aurobindo says: “It is rather a delicate matter to answer.” And he gives two points to reply. One, he discusses how the vital attraction is, what is the “sex-attraction”, and so on. Then he says: “For those who want to give up ordinary life altogether that is … for Sannyasins, etc., marriage in the ordinary sense is out of the question. Because marriage is the one thing that strongly fixes down a person to life.”
It's very interesting, this observation. “Woman by nature has the strongest tendency to stick to life. She, generally, pulls down the man and fixes him to life. This is especially intended by Nature for the continuance of the race and life.” Then he discusses the other side which is the deeper, may be spiritual alignment in a marriage. So, but before I read from that, I want to highlight this and the aspect of fixing down into life.
We see this very easily in people when they get married. And very often this is the case as he describes here that because in the woman's container consciousness, the bridge into matter and emotion is more natural, the marriage often tends to have this effect of bringing the man into this. Left to himself, often a man would tend to withdraw or be insensitive and dulled to the emotional and physical senses, which is what you will see often in bachelor houses. You go to students who are living in a dormitory in or in a guest room of, of a college or university. You can go into a room and you can say whether this is a woman or a man. Very simple. And you will see generally the missing element is this: the sensitivity through the senses, through the emotions, to matter, the grip on matter, automatically Nature ensures that in a woman it is there effortlessly. Now having said this as a general rule, we also have exceptions: in men there can be those who have that very strong; in women there can be those who are completely disconnected from it. So we are describing something which is the tendency of nature, so keep that, keep that in mind.
So the second point he makes, which is quite interesting also, he says, secondly: “There is a meeting together of the psychic of the man and of the woman, — a union of soul with soul. This, of course, is difficult to get.”
Because this is in response to the man's question of to what extent the relationship of the marriage can be taken into the spiritual life.
So he says: “The first point …”, which was about this effect of plugging into life, “The first point refers to the ordinary life in the vital and the physical planes.”
But in the second point: “In the higher life there are two types, two gradations, of meeting of man and woman. One is the psychic union, the other is the spiritual. The man of high idealism — the poet, the artist, has a developed psychic being. In the ordinary man, it is not developed. For a psychically developed man to get a woman of the right type is rather difficult. But if such a union could come about it would be a great help to both of them.”
Then the disciple asks: “… how to find out the right sort of woman for marriage.”
“Sri Aurobindo: There is no hard and fast rule in these things. It is all to be found out by inner perception. It is not a science, it is an art.”
(0:40:10):
Then he explains further: “Even when the union of the psychic takes place between the two, the other parts, the mental, the vital and the physical of one may clash with that of the other and the gain of the psychic being may be spoiled by this disharmony. But if the psychic being dominates in both then these difficulties may slowly clear up. The spiritual relation between man and woman is the most difficult to achieve.” Now all this was as far as the psychic relation is concerned. Now he comes to the spiritual.
So the distinction we understand, in the psychic there is a deeper, let's say, psychic aspirations which align and mind-vital-physical may or may not fully align, and so on. I am taking time to read this because this question is going to come up for many, uh especially those of you who are already married and who either share a spiritual aspiration between both or would like to share.
But then there is this spiritual aspect, and this, he says, is a different grade altogether: “The spiritual relation between man and woman is the most difficult to achieve. The man seeking the higher divine life, the seeker after Divine Consciousness and the truth, …”, which is Purusha, “if he meets the woman of the right type — the woman who is his Shakti — then his spiritual life, the life which he is to manifest, is enriched and becomes full. In this case also there is the psychic union between the two.
“In the case of those who have the psychic union of the proper kind to start with, the spiritual relation may gradually develop and manifest itself.”
So this kind of thing is very rare. As you know, in the case of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, he was led to find who would be the person who would serve as his, let’s say, support or expressive power, and so on. It's not always obvious and sometimes even it need not be in the case of a marriage. So, we'll see that shortly.
“In the spiritual union, the woman who is the Shakti must be really a power — that is to say, a powerful personality who can receive the help from the Purusha in the proper way. Each must be of real help to the other: this relation is the most difficult to attain. These difficulties come to the sadhak; to the Siddha, the perfected soul, there is no difficulty. He knows fully well what is to be manifested. If his Shakti is there he knows where she is and he will get her.”
So, this was the case of course with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. Not only there was the union of the consciousness essentially but the role that was taken between the two which was in a sense predestined. But they also knew each other in that sense. Mother had seen Sri Aurobindo from her childhood as one of the teachers who would come to her frequently, and so on. But this is very rare and not something one need consider oneself with. It's only useful to understand. And it's only in cases where someone has a spiritual realisation to manifest in humanity, and it doesn't apply to all of us, most of us at least.
Sri Aurobindo continues, the disciple asks: “Is the Shakti necessary for the Supramental Yoga?”
Sri Aurobindo: “The Shakti is not necessary for the Yoga: without the Shakti full knowledge, consciousness, power and Ananda can be attained. But if these elements are to be brought to and manifested in life then the Shakti is necessary. If there is no Shakti then he cannot bring down the knowledge, power, Ananda, etc. that are in him into life. He can, in that case, only prepare the way for the work to be done at a future time.”
So this was the case with Sri Aurobindo, when the Mother came, it completed that linkage which allowed what had been realised in both to be then manifested and bridged into humanity, the Mother taking that poise naturally of connecting to the human consciousness in the collective humanity and of course especially with the disciples. And so there was a point of transition which I have mentioned earlier where Sri Aurobindo actually handed over his disciples to the Mother saying that hereafter she will be in charge of their sadhana. So it was still Sri Aurobindo who was in charge but now she was the link because she was that aspect of the Shakti in their united consciousness.
So this is extremely rare, but it is helpful for us to understand how this happens, and we need not imagine or fantasise that we would have such a role ever in our lives, that's not our poise. At the very least one would have to be a Siddha even before such a principle could be relevant.
(0:45:07): Now someone asks:
Disciple: “Suppose a person aspiring for spiritual life marries, what would happen to him?”
Sri Aurobindo: “If such a man marries, three things might happen:
One:. If it is an ordinary marriage, he may be pulled down to the lower level of consciousness, apart from the cares, anxieties and responsibilities he may be burdened with. In that case he may lose his aspiration for the higher life and may be completely changed on account of the woman's influence on him.” Now, “he” is, because the question was about a man marrying, the vocabulary is of this way, but the same would apply to the other way, a woman marrying a man in an ordinary level of consciousness would find similar thing. And we see so many examples of this. In the Ashram community itself, because sometimes in the families of people who have come here, in the children once they grow up, if that was not correctly aligned, you see this very often happening.
“Second, 2. He may be spiritually ruined altogether by the marriage.” This also we have seen.
“Third: 3. Or, if he gets the woman of the right type it may be a great help to him.” And vice versa. When a woman finds a man who has the right alignment, then it can be a great help in the partnership.
So Sri Aurobindo then tells the person from, through whom the question has come, he says: “You can write to D that Sri Aurobindo does not believe in marriage as it exists at present in society and as an institution. He does not ask a person to marry or not to marry; it is left entirely to the person concerned. “For a person who aspires for a some kind of higher life it is common, especially for those who have a strong vital being, to have a tendency for vital enjoyment, and vital relation with the woman. Sri Aurobindo has no objection to this as an experience and perception. Only, in a yogi's life these have to be transformed into movements of the Higher Nature.”
Now having said this, there is another uh discussion on a similar theme where he is asked, What is the right relation in a marriage between if the two are sharing the aspiration. So I want to read this also because for those of you who are married this is going to be of help. Again it was in response to a question from somebody: “Since the Yoga is not a renunciation, what is the relationship between a man and woman in this Yoga?”
Sri Aurobindo says, it is “not a yoga of renunciation in the sense that one” does not have to “reject life or the world externally. But that does not mean that one has to give room to lower forces and allow their, err, them full play in their lower form.”
It is a Yoga of rising into divine nature from the lower nature. So to be fit for that, he gives specific things, you have to learn to overcome “lust” and “anger”, rise from the “animal-man” to become rejecting lower nature towards divine man, and so on. I am skipping that, the “purification”, etc. Then he says:
“(After a pause) In this matter, you must resort to simple thinking and simple action, leaving all mental complications and Shastric injunctions.”
You know there are people who came with the tradition, oh your tradition says you must do this, he says leave all that. “You must not allow the intellect to play with them. Your ideas about Shastric injunctions are nothing else but justifications.”
Then he says: “The ideal relation between man and woman in this Yoga you cannot at present understand. You have, first, to make yourself fit for it. Your own ideas of married life and Shastra etc., are dangerous and if you follow these ideas there is every chance of your fall from the Yoga. All of them are They are mental constructions.” So, “The first thing in a case where both man and woman are aspirants is to help each other in sadhana.” Very simple. “They must exchange their forces and help each other to rise into the Higher Consciousness.”
“Secondly, there is the question of love. What most people call ‘love’ is a superficial thing and mostly bound up with a vital craving of lust. That has to be completely rejected.” “There is a relationship deeper than that — it is of the soul. That relation comes from within by itself. It manifests itself in both as an ideal oneness — oneness in mind, oneness of the soul, oneness of self. That relation is Shanta, full of peace, wide, pure — Pavitra. In it there is no trace of vital lust and physical craving. There is also possible a relation of Purusha and Shakti between man and woman. But that relation is not social, it is not ordinary. Because one is married to a certain woman, it does not follow that his wife is necessarily his Shakti.”
“So long as these relations are not understood and experienced by you another possible relation is that of friends. That is to say, you ought to live with your wife just as you would with a friend who has the same aim of life, without any other relation than that of friendship.”
(0:51:09):
So this is broadly the line he gives, but uh this point I want to highlight when he says that it does not follow that the wife is his Shakti. And I want to now dwell upon this a little bit, this aspect of Shakti we have spoken of in the spiritual context. But remember, the principle of two vehicles, having had two vehicles, obviously there is a natural affinity between the two. And so even without a spiritual life, there would be a tendency for the Purusha-Prakriti relation to be reflected in the male-female forms. Isn't it? And so even without the context of a marriage you will see this happen. And rationally of course it makes a lot of sense considering that in Nature's attempt to imitate these two aspects, there is a natural complementarity. So you see this happening in very interesting ways in people.
I'll give a few examples. I've seen one, many cases in fact, of people who were in corporate world. They were married, they had children, marriage was nice, stable, etc., loving, no problem there. But the Shakti of this man was not the wife, it was a secretary in the company. So I'm taking one example that comes to mind. From the point he goes to work, so at home he is whatever, and I think, such men often are very incompetent when it comes to practical things at home. And so the wife looked after everything, he was very incompetent, home was just a place where he felt comfort and love, children, etc. Now his real life mission is when he steps out of the home, goes to his office for the job. From the point he walks in, there is this secretary. She has been hired but she has been there for maybe 10, 15, 20 years. One can feel there is a very deep affinity and alignment energetically. Nothing sexual, nothing romantic, nothing emotional. Very practical but organised. And he starts giving orders: ‘This’, ‘This’, ‘Call up this’, ‘Do this’, ‘Inform this’, ‘Change that’, ‘Shift this appointment’. She's taking down notes, ‘ta-ta, ta-ta, tut’. She goes and starts executing.
Now I saw the person very closely, and one of the very interesting observations was this: if that woman left tomorrow, this man would be completely lost, completely ineffective, incapable of doing anything worthwhile in life. He would have wonderful ideas, he could sit down and give a lecture on ‘This is how it should be done, we should do this, and this is here is the business plan you should execute. But he wouldn't even be able to sit at a computer desk and type out or draw out his business plan. Even his hands were not sufficiently developed to draw a skilful, neat, beautiful drawing with, for a projection or anything. Just this, and the vision, and the strong vital power to push that vision. That made him head of an entire huge institution. But the executive aspect was totally, he was totally reliant on this, in this case it was a lady, it could be a man, I have seen those cases also, or sometimes it's a team. But generally even when there is a team, such a person cannot manage a team because he has not developed that capacity. He would manage one person who manages the team and that would be the Shakti, very often a woman, precisely because of the natural affinities of alignment, skills, capacities, and the dual principle of complementarity of which Nature has built up.
Now if the woman is more complete, so in the sense she has her masculine and her feminine capacities fully developed and integrated, well, she could manage things on her own. But she is lacking something, she is lacking that vision, or the raw vitality which this man has, or his many decades of experience. See, this one is young, she doesn't have it. She would make an even more effective Shakti for this work. But at some point she is going to come into her own because she has that aspect quite well developed cannot go on the rest of her life having somebody else hold her Purusha-poise. She will use that period of work to build her Purusha-poise until it matures enough and then she will branch out and then become either her centre of the Purusha consciousness with a team or herself manage her business holding both poises. More difficult but doable.
(0:55:43):
So I am explaining this because what we have discussed with a very specific case which was in the context of the spiritual poise, the principle is applicable here also, and in everything in life. In many relationships you will find this thing happening, where, and it doesn't have to be wife, there is no sexual or other relation, it is purely the Purusha and Prakriti or the Shiva-Shakti kind of relation of complementarity, of visioning, conceptualising static power, and then executive and dynamic power on the other side, and the natural affinity of both to work together. So this is an example I wanted to give in the working of the two together. I am going to come back to this point a little later. And I want now to explore what happens when you have one, or the other, separately, or the tendencies of distortion which happened between the two, and how they express differently in these two vehicles.
So, I am going to take a momentary pause and look at the chat box in case there is something. So, RG is saying: “Natural feminine or masculine physical bodies can be preserved by balancing left and right brain activities?”
No. It has nothing to do with left and right brain. Both have left and right brain faculties. It's just the way these two work is different in the male and in the female and or inclined in the masculine role, and so on. It is not left and right brain. You do not confuse left and right brain with the feminine and masculine.
So, Blue Lotus Mom: “How to get attracted to others, not in vital way but general preference of liking to certain people? Is it something we have in common or some purpose together?”
You will find generally a liking, it's always vital, but what you mean by vital is sexual, it need not be sexual, but always an attraction or a liking, non-sexual also, is always vital. Vital does not mean sexual only, that's just one of the modes of the lower grades of the vital. But uh, even in the higher vital, one may feel an affinity, and so one likes somebody automatically, or one feels in their presence more complete, more secure, more loved, cared, more effective, more inspired, etc., because there are natural affinities of energy. And where the affinities are complimentary, the two working together automatically makes for a more complete unit energetically in qualities of consciousness and then in skills also.
So, if the attraction there is not a sexual kind which intrudes with your existing family, marriage life, then I see no problem with that. You can work together certainly, and this is how teams are formed. In all effective teams, you will find, there has to be this basic vital affinity and alignment, otherwise you do not have an effective team. Where it is not there already, they force it to form through various kinds of exercises, working together, living together for long durations in isolation, in the military for example, working very tightly as teams in, for long durations of isolation in extreme adversity automatically creates a blending of energies and then they form a unit vitally, there's nothing sexual, it's a vital unit that's all, and then all the strengths become complementary. So variations of that can form in life and should form in any teamwork in a business or any other project environment.
So, Radhika says: “I just wanted to say I watched the previous week's exposition and was shattered as a woman who spent a good deal of effort trying to graduate in a STEM subject, somehow it didn't feel to me like that's what Mother would have said what Sraddhalu said, but then I guess, if this is the way Mother's teaching interpreted, I feel disappointed.”
No. I think, you've completely misunderstood the point. This is not a question of Mother's teaching. I was describing the biological basis for these differences of characteristics and the specific faculties of the brain which are activated according to gender. This is nothing to do with Mother, this is pure biology and psychology which you will find in all the current studies in laboratory and human psychology published all around the world. So please don't confuse this with Mother's teaching. Mother's teaching is precisely this point where she says, you have to be able to develop all your capacities, and biology is at best a starting point, and to the extent it’s a starting point, please take full advantage of it.
That is how I am explaining this part. So I think, Radhika has not understood what we discussed last time. This is the reason why I am very wary about what we are discussing. I do not want it to be misrepresented or misunderstood. You have to be very careful. If, for Radhika, I would say, simply hear again the whole thing very carefully and do not allow your emotions to cloud your mind's understanding.
(1:01:25):
So Tutun has a question about sex has no place in Integral Yoga?
Well, it depends on your stage of development and for that I would say, I don't want to bring that discussion here. Do watch the evening series from number 17 to 24, where we have gone very deep into sex, relationships and in the context of the Integral Yoga and in stages of the Yoga also. So, I think, I’ll leave the other questions for later. I come back to the topic at hand.
So, when you look at the biology and the distinction, the vehicle that nature has built, and we are not talking about Mother's teaching here, let's remind ourselves of that, we were talking of the biology itself and the slant that nature provides, you see how, today, for example, it is almost fashionable to speak of certain things in stereotypes, which would go something like ‘toxic masculinity’. So only a masculinity is associated with the word ‘toxic’. But no, that's not true. The toxicity can happen to any gender. You will have toxic femininity. It will take a different form. Toxic masculinity will take a different form. Or, somebody may say, ‘Oh, narcissistic’, something. But again, both genders would have, the forms would be different.
And if we go back to this characteristic of the stability and fluidity, which I would describe as the essential way of describing the male-female vessel differences of that nature builds, the way the ego distorts in each is also slightly different. In the male, it would tend to distort by making more rigid. In the female, it would tend to distort by making more unstable. Again remember, I'm describing general tendencies. Don't reduce it. If you are an exception, wonderful. But if you observe around you, you will see this tendency. And if you observe the tendency within you, why I'm going into this in detail, it is extremely useful to recognise this, but it is also extremely useful to understand why somebody else may be different and in what way that difference operates.
So, and the same thing one could say, so for example in the ego distortion, what in the male becomes a kind of a rigidity in the ego, in the female it would take an instability, insecurity, a constant change, the distortion becomes almost a whirling of energies. So, left to herself, if there is this distortion of the loss of stability, a woman will often feel overwhelmed by her passion or her emotion or afraid even of it, unable to control, as if swayed by, caught in a whirlwind. At which point, if she is unable to find her own poise of Purusha within, she will seek the poise of Purusha outside, in a friend, in a partner, in a husband, in any, any social associate, somebody who holds the Purusha-poise. I am pointing this out because it will lead us to some very interesting insights later. Having found that external support now, she will feel the whirl now she is able to disengage from by using this as a reference. And then at some point either the reference becomes a part of her life as a regular support or she gradually learns to internalise the essential psychological component of that reference and finds that stability internally.
(1:05:10):
Now all this I am describing in a normal person who is not in a spiritual life. For one who is in a spiritual life, if you recognise this tendency, because this is the bias Nature has built, and again there is a huge variation; in some women it is very intense, in some women it‘s hardly there; simply observe and you know what you need to do: Step back. Find the poise of deeper equality, which is the basis of the Integral Yoga, the first stage even. Find that poise of deeper equality, that's the base of the Purusha-poise of consciousness. Many make the mistake of fighting the whirl, struggling to tame it, and the harder you try the more you get exhausted and the more you're caught in the whirl until out of sheer exhaustion you collapse into some kind of a tired rest and then it seems like it has passed until it gets reactivated. So the way is not to engage but to step back, disengage, identify or open to this deeper poise of equality behind. Whatever you may experience as an insecurity, as a flux, as a whirling, as an instability, as a doubt for the future, whatever form it takes, hopelessness, loss of certainties, step back, and here you find this deep equality and peace or at least be aware of it behind you, above you and gradually learn to lean back until you can stabilise in it. These whirls come, they rise, they fall, they pass; this stays. And one must build that foundation. From there, gradually you can lean into this whirl or infuse this calm and peace gradually, catch the whirl before it catches you and bring that calm and clarity and dissolve it. And this is how you would reverse, overcome that weakness or that tendency.
In the male, similarly, when the distortion comes, it takes the form of rigidity. It's a perversion of that stability which becomes extremely hard, narrow, rigid, inflexible, and at that point can become oppressive because it does not adapt to circumstances and it can be so oppressive, everybody around you says, ‘Hey, I'd rather stay away from this person while they are in that mood’. And so the right thing at that point would be first to become conscious, ‘What is this happening in me? Where is this coming from?’. And then find within you the deeper truth behind that rigidity. Behind the rigidity which is also superficial part of your nature is the deeper juice, joy, fluidity, flow, infinite flexibility of the psychic influence, and to be able to gradually open to that and allow its influence to infuse into this rigid part, for some it's a mental rigidity, for some it's a vital rigidity, all these eventually come into physical rigidity, bring this deeper juice which softens all that, dissolves that crust, opens out your heart and allows a deeper, purer heart-influence to flow out.
And at some point one can experience almost like a gushing of that, but very cool, calm, still, clear gushing of the flow of the heart, which dissolves eventually all these. The stability aspect is not lost, but the rigidity of it is dissolved. And so I am pointing to these tendencies of distortion which are very specific to the genders. Again, this being a general description, there will always be exceptions and a whole spectrum of variations within them, so get the point.
Similarly, we notice in the, when upset, the male response and the female response are different.
The male response will tend to hold the upset energy and compress and as if digest until it passes out of the system.
The female response typically is to get overwhelmed and then somehow isolate it and then throw it out, and often it is thrown out on somebody else who is nearby, who is available, and having thrown it out, one feels relieved, it's gone.
Now, interesting! Why this difference? If you notice, biologically the basis in the female is energetically her body is designed to give birth. So it's as if it forms a unit and then pushes out what is formed. In the male, rather the tendency is to take the burden and to hold, anchor, support and hold, and so it is an internal digestion process. Now in the case of a man and woman, especially in a married couple, this often becomes a problem, because the woman sees that the man is distressed and tries to get him to talk whereas his way is not by talking and he needs to digest, he needs to be alone and quiet, leave him alone, eventually he digests and comes back completely free.
(1:10:25):
The other way though the woman wants to talk about her problem and the man is, finds it difficult because he wants to help her solve it and, or, does not want to listen to complaints too much, not realising that by talking she is going to be free of it and then it will no more be a problem, so he needs to be listening.
And these are again very specific to the genders and again it has nothing to do with spirituality, it's the design of the biology, psychology that Nature builds, but I am linking it to those characteristics where Nature imitates these two, the Purusha-Prakriti aspect, the stability and the fluidity flow.
Similarly one can find many interesting parallels in the way the mind functions, the way the emotional being flows, and the physical tendencies and habits, and I will not go into this, I had thought to go in some detail, but I am afraid it might get misunderstood, so I am going to skip that and rather just point to one thing which is in the intuitive mind. In the intuitive mind, you see also similar difference. In the first opening to the intuition, because very often that opening is not conscious, we have flashes of intuitions, we have flashes of insights which just come and go, and they will, all of us have it, it's not a big deal. It's only when you begin to consciously train to open to the intuition that you will tend to have a more direct conscious or consciously accessible experience. So when first these intuitions come, they seem to be different because the vehicles are different. Remember what I spoke earlier about the, in the woman the opening to the emotion is more natural, effortless. And therefore when the intuition is received, it is received in the emotions and the vital consciousness more easily.
So Sri Aurobindo uses this phrase “vital intuition”. And it is often tied to the senses. So you look at the situation, ‘Ah-yes’, you know what it is, and you just do it. In the male, and remember we are talking of male-female, not of consciousness, the same intuition when it comes, because the receptacle of mind is more free from the emotions, it is there that he receives, and so he will have an idea, but having had an idea, ‘Well, I need to translate it, I can articulate it, but I cannot turn it into action easily’. So very often they will know what needs to be done but they won't know how to translate it into action.
Now this difference is very interesting. And there's an interesting observation of Sri Aurobindo which he makes with regard to this. I'm going to read from that. Okay, again it's a longish passage but it’s very interesting when he makes this observation. I am going to read bulk of it although not all of it is relevant to what I just said. So disciple asks that about the soul having a tendency to keep the same line of the gender: What determines that? Is it something in the vital?
“Sri Aurobindo: No it is not in the vital – the distinction is from the beginning; sex has its origin in the fundamental distinction between Purusha and Prakriti. The words male and female refer to the distinction in the physical plane, but that does not express the whole distinction. There are such phrases as active and passive elements; none of these adequately express the relation.”
So, we have, since we have discussed all this last time, I think that should be clear what he is conveying here. Then:
“Disciple: But Purusha is passive, how can it correspond to the male sex which is rather active as distinguished from the female sex?”
“Sri Aurobindo: Purusha is passive according to the Sankhya. Purusha as described by the Gita is Sakshi, witness and Ishwara, Lord. It sees all the workings of nature as well as is the Lord of all. Prakriti only works out the will of the Purusha, hence it is called Shakti.” Now remember, this is as recalled by memory from, by Puranai or Nirodbaran, so the words you should not take too literally but broadly get the idea. Now this is the important part of the discussion.
“Disciple: It is said that on the physical plane the man is active and the woman is passive. But on the higher planes, the man is passive and receptive while the woman inspires.” That is the disciple's theory.
“Sri Aurobindo: On the physical plane, the woman is more active than the man.” We see this very much, at least in India it's very obvious. “The woman is more practical – when the man beats about the bush as to what is to be done in a certain crisis, the woman instinctively perceives the right course and runs directly to it. Thus, the male politicians are knocking their head about whether they should carry on co-operation, responsive-cooperation or obstruction.” This is regarding India under colonial rule. “A woman in such a case would have found out something by intuition and gone directly to practical work.” So this is the point I was making earlier about the reception of intuition between the two.
(1:15:45):
There is an obvious advantage for the practicality for the woman because of this design of nature.
“Disciple: It is hoped that women will be more successful in politics.”
“Sri Aurobindo: Yes, that is quite likely.”
“Disciple: But women have never been creators – there never have been great female poets or artists and so forth.”
“Sri Aurobindo: They have not got full opportunities – they've had to live in an atmosphere where they could not receive any push to do the best things they are capable of. So you cannot judge women from their past as to what they can do or cannot do. Let them have the open field for generations, and then it will be proper to judge them.
So far as can be seen, the women are more developed in the psychical being and the men in the mental.”
And so he is describing that period of time, 100 years ago:
“Women can be great poets but they cannot be philosophers as they are not capable of high generalisations and abstractions.”
Now again remember, this is something we discussed last time about the abstract faculties of mind as in mathematics, higher mathematics, which are naturally open in men effortlessly and in woman, in women there is a tendency or need for an effort except in a few cases of exceptions as we also saw.
So what you observed here is very interesting, very important, because describing this a hundred years ago, he says: “you cannot judge women from their past as to what they can do or cannot do. Let them have the open field for generations …”, because you understand here, it takes a few generations for the full potential to wake up. Now this has two implications:
One that in a collective evolution, even from the point you provide opportunities, the collective consciousness still needs a few cycles to build to something. Second, this implies that the efforts of the first generation carry into the next, which carry into the next. So there's a huge transmission of a capacity developed or awakened into the next generation, not always biologically, sometimes psychologically, there is a momentum that is built up.
And he makes a similar observation also for a certain point in people who came from tribal cultures where there is absolutely no formal learning of any kind for centuries. He says, when they come out of that in one or two generations, they build up the full power of the intellect. But it takes one or two generations often with a few exceptions, but. It takes a few generations for the whole collective to rise to a certain level of capacity. But he says that rapidity of growth is not possible in evolution unless that capacity was already developed in the past, in some prior cycle of humanity. So again the implication is that somehow that thing developed then, maybe 10,000 years ago, is still retained within the collective consciousness of a species as a potential. And even if subdued for a few generations or a few centuries, it can rise up and may take again two or three generations to rise to its full potential.
Now all this is very important for us to understand because we are seeing here the collective evolution and the efforts we make individually are actually being imprinted in the collective and its growth. So especially for those of us, who have, who are part of the Integral Yoga, we have to understand that when we make an effort to grow, it's not just us, the entire type of our nature, which is there throughout humanity all over the world, is somehow connected with us. And when we push the boundaries, it's as if for the entire type who has shares in that problem that you have, it now becomes easier to push the boundary. So in a sense, your individual evolution is helping the collective evolution in humanity. You may not see the results in your lifetime. You may not even know how it is working. Of course, if you were deeper in a subliminal opening, one can even sense.
(1:20:27):
But there's another very important implication, and this is in the context of the specifically the Yoga and the spiritual growth: When some of us unite for a spiritual effort as a collective, then the spiritual growth of one automatically assists the growth of others, even if you're not consciously connected, even if you do not intend it to happen consciously, just the fact that you are united in a common aspiration makes for this also to happen.
And the one last implication which is, when he is talking about women specifically having an open field for generations before you can really judge what they are capable of, it does mean that just as we have a general humanity connection, there is also a male group in humanity which has its issues and female group within humanity which has its issues, and a few women making a breakthrough can make a huge difference for all women, similarly, a few men making a breakthrough for issues relating to men can have a huge breakthrough for all men. So you will understand also why it was so important for the Mother to initiate in the Ashram the physical education programme in which women were playing equally in sports, games and other exercises equally with men. And although at that time there was initially some resistance, she was able to break through that, and the impact it has had on the world, most people will never know that this was the result of the work that the Mother did here in this little prototype community. And it's okay, it doesn't matter, people don't need to know, but we should know the value of such efforts.
And again, I link it to all of us here who are online right now or who are going to watch this later, if we are aligned in our aspiration, we already form such a collective on a spiritual level, psychological level, and therefore just the fact that we are aligned to these aspirations that we make these common efforts, it helps everybody. And particularly in the context of the Integral Yoga, where the goal is transformation of nature, divinisation of nature, and not an individual liberation of consciousness, this kind of a collective sadhana becomes extremely important. It does not mean, we need to know each other personally, it does not mean we need to have social contact, I would even say, avoid those because they come in the way. Just the fact that you know here, all of us, a few thousands, are aligned in this common aspiration and we share in this common aspiration together now, that's enough. The links are made at a deeper level by the Divine Mother who holds the whole collective in her embrace and assists us. So, I will move on from this part. This was the thing which I had held for discussion.
So I come to one final point: We have seen advantages that women have, advantages that men have, limitations of each which we can overcome. When we turn to the spiritual life, there too we find certain advantages or disadvantages. And I am going to touch upon something here which you will find quite, I hope, very interesting. So from a male point of view first, remember we have to develop both aspects of our consciousness, we should be able to hold the poise of the soul as the centre, the focal point of stability, as well as our aspect of the executive energy and the power to manifest.
Since in the biology of men this aspect of the execution has not been amplified by nature to begin with, the other aspect becomes easier for the male, generally speaking, which is why you will find quite a large number of ascetics who chose to withdraw, etc., tended to be men. For women, the withdrawal was never a, in the most part was not so natural with the few exceptions. But for the man it becomes somewhat easier. But when it comes to manifesting, hey, that's a bit of a problem.
(1:25:00):
So inevitably, as I gave the example earlier, you find somehow the vehicle and the external means of support to be able to execute or to manifest, which in practice, if it is in a single male, becomes the need to or the tendency to automate a life around, to mechanise, to organise, to make it happen automatically, so that ‘Whatever I choose to do will tend to happen’.
Now a more technically organised male for example would want to automate the lights, the windows, the, mhm, through machinery, basically the thing he is lacking he will tend to fill through nature and processes of nature. Or, if the person is wealthy enough or powerful enough, as in the case of a leader or a king, there will be a whole team running around executing whatever it is he wishes to do. But within himself, the capacity to execute, well, he needs to work for it. And if he doesn't, he will always be dependent on others.
When you look at the woman, very interestingly here, the situation is totally reversed. She has already this capacity to express and execute. She is missing that other centre, the focal point, which if she takes the trouble to build, which is easier to do because it is essentially a shift in consciousness, she can do very quickly. In the man, the complementing aspect is not merely a shift in consciousness, it is also a capacity of that you need to shape into your nature. So his job is much more difficult to build the complementary aspect. But for a woman, the missing aspect is the focalisation in the centre around the soul, which is a psychological and spiritual shift, easy to do.
So in the spiritual development, when the same effort is, let's say, when the same goal is aimed at by men and women, in the context of Integral Yoga, not in the ascetic yoga: A woman has an innate advantage in the power to be able to manifest, and the missing thing she has is being purely psycho-spiritual, that can be got easily. But in the man, the psycho-spiritual aspect being there, the other aspect requires a change of nature, and he finds it very difficult. Very interesting observation here. And this is the reason why, as in the collective consciousness, in, especially in spiritual communities, women turn to the spiritual and seek to participate in the manifestation, they will become far more effective as instruments than men for the purpose of manifesting. This is the huge difference, a huge advantage.
And I will remind you of something which I have mentioned in other talks before, I think, it was to Tara Johar that the Mother said repeatedly and with great firmness she said, “Remember, you have the power to manifest”, “you” being you-plural, women, “you have the power to manifest, you have the power to manifest”. Why did she say that? It's not that men can't manifest, of course they can equally. But when it comes to manifesting within themselves and the transformation of nature, the access to change is not already given, there is a lot of work to be done there. In a woman that part is already much more oriented to manifesting. If she takes the trouble to purify her nature and, well, separate it from the instinctive and the lower tendencies, that part both have to do equally, there is no escaping that, but having done that, the advantage that the woman has to be a powerful instrument to manifest and the inspiration, the, the eh, Purusha aspect, the Ishwara aspect, is the Lord himself, the Divine, directly working through you.
So one of the great examples of history is Joan of Arc. And you see there single-handed, she did not need an external support because the Lord was the direct link, she used obviously even on a very material level because of that she needed the support of the king, but that was specific to the circumstances, but naturally she held the king as representing the Divine and that was more the cultural aspect of that. But having accepted that, she was receiving her inspiration directly from the Divine and the whole machinery to manifest ready, flowing, obviously lifted, purified, raised sufficiently, and that's it, the work could be done so easily.
So this point I want to highlight, the power to manifest. And so if you had to compare, and obviously there is an equivalent faculty in the male, there is the power to vision, in the woman the power to manifest, the male there might be the power to conceive, the woman would have the power to give life, the male would have the power to protect life. So there are complementing aspects, but when it comes to the spiritual manifestation, there is straight away huge advantage there.
(1:30:23):
On the other hand, when women tend to be alone and not make the effort to align to a higher support, then there is the instinct which is there, which Mother refers to, the need to be protected, the need for a reference of centre, the need for even sometimes to be possessed, uh, to be, to feel secure and safe and protected: these become the weakness and the Mother speaks of how it is absolutely necessary for women to consciously free themselves from this instinctive need in order to be truly free and as individual units, as vehicles, as individual, free individuals to be able to act freely and not limited by the instinctive biological need. And the same with the male, the single male, the need to be looked after, the need to protect sometimes, the need to possess, these are variations in which it can happen. But if you can make that effort to rise above these, it does not matter what your vessel is, male or female. You rise above these instincts, you open to the divine consciousness, and that's the nature of the Integral Yoga, well, the journey is pretty much the same with the particular slant that the shell and vehicle that you have offers and with the special advantage that the woman has for the purpose of manifestation, which men may have for the purpose of conceptualisation of, or articulation sometimes at the level of thought.
Now, having said this, there is another aspect which is very unique to a woman, which I think Sri Aurobindo refers to when he was asked what he saw when the Mother met him. And he said that, when the Mother first saw Sri Aurobindo and recognised who he was and that he was the one who had been from her childhood guiding her and she was, he was the one that she was waiting for to find on earth, there was this total self-giving, utter surrender, complete, and you know the, what she wrote afterwards.
But Sri Aurobindo was asked: Well what did you see? And he said: “I saw this complete self-giving, complete surrender of oneself down to the physical consciousness, as if down to the cells”. And he said, he had never thought it possible, that it would be possible to that degree. And I think he makes this comment there that it was only a woman who could do it. And again we understand why. This thing we discussed earlier, what nature has done for embedding the consciousness in the physical and the emotional particularly, is a huge advantage. And if that advantage is not allowed to be a one-sided unbalanced, inferior state, but lifted and opened to the higher and completed what is possible is extraordinary.
So this I think completes the part of the discussion when the two are separate. There is one other implication of this which maybe we will develop a little bit tomorrow, next week.
When therefore, because of this natural complementarity, when a man and a woman tend to work together, and it could be anywhere, in any environment, you could be working together in a business, in a shop or as a family, husband and wife, or as friends, in any circumstance, this natural complementarity makes for an amplified effectivity. But in a more personal and intimate relationship, let's say in a couple which is married or otherwise, in a couple, and particularly when you align yourself for a purpose in life, there is a very interesting effect: In the coming together, automatically because of this complementary tendency, one tends to hand over the aspects which are not natural to you to the other.
So a woman would tend to feel protected and therefore feeling herself protected be able to flow more easily and her power of the feminine consciousness would get enormously amplified and freed because now she does not have to protect herself. Equally for the male or the masculine side, sometimes it may be free of gender, when there is this aspect that the woman is there complementing these qualities, he is free now to let go of those and focus on that special role.
Now it is very interesting observation the Mother makes when Sri Aurobindo left his body, she says that throughout those years when Sri Aurobindo was in the body, she did not have to worry about her own protection, she could flow freely and he was there. But after he left his body physically, that physical protection was gone and she had to take care of that herself. Interesting.
(1:35:22):
And even when Sri Aurobindo's accident took place, 1938, he said, “I was so..”… I knew there was an attempt to attack before the Darshan”, so he said, “I was so concentrated on protecting the Mother that I did not realise that they were there to attack me”. So he was not as vigilant and that's how it happened. So I am, I am pointing to this because it's something very interesting. Of course here I am taking the spiritual dimension.
But even in a non-spiritual context, the effect of these two is, because automatically one role is taken care of by the other, there is the amplification of capacities in both. The woman can flow more freely, the man can support more intensely, and the dual character which nature had intended in forming these vessels allows for a huge amplification and together a much greater outcome than the sum of each individual, literally the powers of each are amplified, and there is an inter-reliance, interdependence, and kind of an affinity built up, which would tend towards a greater unity. As I said, it can happen even in a workspace. And the examples I've given before, it does not have to be in a partnership of life, but this is something very interesting, and if the same principle can apply in a psychological context and spiritual context also, if both share in the spiritual aspiration.
So Sri Aurobindo's observation that if the right partnership is found, it can be extremely helpful in the sadhana, wrong partnership can be extremely detrimental, and so on. So, I think, with this I’m, I have completed broadly the things I wanted to say about this part. Remember we started this as part of a discussion on education, so I will touch upon next time a few aspects relating to education as well as a few questions which have come, and I will also touch upon this aspect of gender dysphoria and transgenderism, etc., which currently is very much in the news and what those represent and how they, from a spiritual point of view, and to understand these things better, and specifically the requirement in the educational context both for children as well as for us as adults, these things can be understood or leveraged.
We have several questions also which have already come along these lines, we will take up all this next time which will be probably the last on this topic. So, I have not seen if there are any other questions, but feel free, please leave the questions on in the chat box, if there is something I will try to weave them in next time. I think, we have taken much more than our intended time. We will just close with a review of all that we have covered, I hope it was not too spread out, too extensive.
The principle behind, the truth behind it, is this: That each one of us as a soul-potential chooses certain line broadly of development which is unique to our soul in its very origin sometimes, but the particular form of it can be evolved over lives.
Having developed that, having chosen that, we are given vessels. The vessels represent the starting point. We have not only to push the boundaries of the vessels to make them more complete, but simultaneously, especially as part of the Integral Yoga, to make ourselves more complete, developing both aspects of consciousness within us, to become conscious instruments, units, individual, independent units for the Divine manifestation on earth.
Within that there are certain distinctive advantages that the masculine and the feminine genders may have or not, doesn't matter, if they are there, certainly they are part of the play for the Divine purpose and would serve rightly their use, if there is some kind of a special alignment or affinity. But one need not consider that as our first step. It would be a culmination or a natural outcome of our completeness as individuals. And this should be our whole first focus.
The rest is more to understand our nature and our tendencies in order to be able to free ourselves, leverage our strengths but rise above our weaknesses. For this the Divine Mother is actively with us always. And she as the Shakti, the Divine, true Divine feminine, is pouring in us, shaping us, working in us, lifting us, embracing us with her love. To give ourselves to her as her children is the easiest way to allow that shaping which can enormously accelerate this evolutionary passage. What would take a few thousand years can be compressed into a single lifetime, and that should be our intention in this very life, right now, and every day, hereafter.
We can concentrate in this aspiration. Namaste.
Alina (1:41:29)
Namaste.