February 18, 2023
Sraddhalu (0:00:27):
Namaste and welcome to Evenings with Sraddhalu. We have been on a topic of ‘Raising and Educating Children’, for the last three sessions and this will be the fourth. And over these three sessions we have been covering stages first from the first instinct of wanting to have a child through pregnancy and childbirth. In the second session we went into several questions relating to the way the instinct works and the immediate phase of bonding after childbirth as well as the initial stages when one needs to protect the child, influences of various forces, vulnerabilities of the child to energies and so on. And in the previous session which was the third, we dwelt on the first three years particularly of the growth phase.
We had also taken several questions from the chat box for this purpose and then we discussed various instincts by which the mother and the father naturally tried to infuse into the child to participate in the child's growth. How these work, what are the various forms in which one can utilize those instincts, the early kinds of games one plays, and I use this phrase, psychic games, which I want to elaborate on today. And we dwelt on the accelerated phase of evolution that currently Nature is taking all of humanity through. In fact, it is happening everywhere in nature on all the planes of all the life forms including plants and animals. And we took the example of the baby that immediately after birth began to crawl and I showed you a video of that also. So this has been a pretty rich discussion.
Hopefully today we will close with the later stage of the growth and before I take that up there were a few questions pending from last time from the chat box. I had mentioned in response to one of the questions about asthama, that I had mentioned there is a treatment that can be made with a particular leaf and there was a question, what is the name of the leaf. I could not recall that I have found that out. The leaf which is used is called Tylophora Asthmatica. I have put the name of the leaf in the description of today's video. So you don't need to look at the chat box, it will be there in the description itself. This leaf has, is a, there are very many various leaves in the family. There's one Tylophora indica, but I believe Tylophora Asthmatica is different. It is called Anantamool in Ayurveda and in Ayurveda is used for asthma and breathing related difficulties. Allopathy has validated that this leaf has great effectivity for bronchial and allergies, asthma, cough etc.
But they have not gone deep enough and particularly the manner in which this leaf is used for asthama, I want to describe, because it is extremely important; it does not work just like that. It has to be taken in a specific way which I had alluded to last time, but I think it requires a more detailed description which I want to share now.
So, you have to take three leaves for three days. Morning, that means you will not have eaten or drunk any water through the night. Let's say you finished your dinner 8 p.m. or whenever. When you wake up, whatever that time is, 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock, you should not have drunk any water through the night. This is extremely important. No food and immediately on waking up you will take three leaves and chew them and swallow. It's extremely bitter, very uncomfortable, you have to suffer it. After swallowing, you will find you feel extremely thirsty, you have to resist the thirst for three full hours. So let's say you had the leaves at 7, you wait till 10 and then only you may drink or eat normally.
(0:05:37):
The side effect of having taken the leaf will be that through the rest of the day you will not be able to taste salty food or you won't taste salt. So you may eat normal food and you will say this has no salt let me add more. You will resist the urge because it's your capacity to taste salt which has been neutralized and you must do this a second day and a third day. After the third day, generally that's enough, you will never again have the asthmatic symptoms. Now in some cases they require a second dose to be taken a month later but in most cases that I have known personally, actually in all the cases that I have known, it was cured within three days, even people who had asthma for till the age of 30, since childhood, just like that it was gone. I am told by the doctors who have been treating this from the ashram side that it works for 80% of the cases and the sign is this, that your taste for salty food goes away. That means you will be cured, you can be sure of that. If you do not lose the taste for salt, then it is not having the effect that was intended.
So in those days when this was being done here, it was Dr. Vandana Gupta who was working in the Sri Aurobindo Society in Pondicherry, she used to grow the plant there and then give you this treatment. She has since left and she now lives in Auroville on her own. Those of you who know her, you can contact her because she grows the plant abundantly. So find your way, otherwise you know the name of the plant and you can find it on your own.
So this was one question which had come from Manali, the name of the leaf and Anupam had raised this question also, “Is it possible to cure asthma by spiritual force as you once told about healing the body directly by opening to the Mother and receiving but in the case of children how do we do it?”
–Well this is precisely why we do need external support because a child may or may not have the same level of opening and or receptivity. Even within us as adults we may have a great opening and receptivity in one part but not necessarily in other parts equally and therefore there is a need for time for the effect of the Force.
There is an interesting incident that comes to mind which is recorded by Preeti Dasgupta. She was sickly from childhood, body was weak, she tended to fall ill very often and she had a particular habit pattern in the body that she would often get fever. And Mother repeatedly told her that you have to force it out, refuse it, do not accept and so on. She was, as she felt, weak, incapable and so the fevers kept repeating. And then one day the Mother came to her and with a very great sternness and force, she held her by the shoulders and shook her violently and said, ‘this has to stop now, the fever must go’. And the girl was in such a state of shock, she didn't know what had happened, she even felt fear and then she said the fever never again came. Now what is interesting is the Mother used that intensity of the force but to cut through the sheath, the covering of inertia, resistance, lack of receptivity or the identification with the fever or the wrong faith, whatever form it is. She cut through this by the suddenness and the shock and surprise, but the force of course had its other effect of creating a momentary fear. But then she records that it just went away, never again came for the rest of her life. So I give this example to show how a radical intervention just like that can cure anything in principle.
The real problem is more of our receptivity, especially down to the physical part, depending on the illnesses and their roots, it may have to go very deep into the physical or you may catch it on some intermediate level. So, yes, in principle this is possible and as a parent, particularly when you hold the child, there is a total identification if it's a baby, there's a total identification in which what you experience is immediately transferred in the child's consciousness. So you can do it and have the benefit in the child and the child opens to you and is totally transparent. As the child grows older, there is the separation of which we will have further discussion today. And then there are as if thin veils in which become increasingly distinct, separating, at which point the transfer can be, will be, more limited or in certain layers only. But yes, in principle, you can do that, you can do it either in with a little baby as you hold, or just with the love and the affection with which you spontaneously identify, generally it is in the emotions, in the life energies, that what you receive is transmitted and assists. So yes, it can be done even with children depending on the nature of the thing. At the very least, you may tremendously accelerate the healing.
(0:10:58):
I gave the example of last time also of how you may massage the child or you may as you caress or… One of the forms in which the parents do instinctively and especially with mothers, they feel that there is something on the child and they will rub their hand over the child or on the wound or where there is the illness, as if to remove and throw it out. Now there are variations that take place, I have seen in various cultures. So sometimes you do it with whatever name, sometimes in the European culture, they will say the mother will kiss the wound and the wound will get healed and the child will say, ‘you kiss the wound, it will get healed’, he knows, he feels and he can feel the magic when that happens. Well the kiss is only a moment of the touch of affection but also there is in the action of the kiss extraction, withdrawal, taking in like a sip of the energy, the knot of the illness.
In India, in some cultures, there will be a little like a magical turn, the mother will repeat something like a magical chant and then say, ‘poof, now it's gone’. So the sense of the magical intervention is somehow ingrained in the instinct itself. It may take various forms, but in fact it is extremely effective. You may today pay somebody large amounts of money for an intervention of energy, healing, like pranic type of healing of various schools and types, but this is so much more direct and in the identification with the parents, with the mother particularly, it can be very smooth and easy.
The next question is from Ritu who asks, “What is the best to do when the parents are compelled to adopt an unknown child”.– So I don't know what you mean by compelled because I suppose there is always a choice. There is no compulsion to adopt. I would still trust the natural instinct of the mother, especially more than the father. As it is, I am sorry to have to say it like this, but most men tend to be somewhat insensitive to the finer things and it is mostly because of the upbringing or poor upbringing or lack of upbringing. But in women because that is how nature has ensured that the sensitivity is protected, it is exaggerated to a degree that becomes even sometimes a weakness. But if you trust the feeling, you will feel when it is right or not, or when the child you feel is right or not. The way it is done today, where the government or some machinery of bureaucracy chooses and connects is not the best.
I remember again I will draw upon many examples with animals because it's much more easy to see these things and particularly separate the instinctive layer from the mind's emotional preconceptions, when we see that in the animals. I remember one of my friends was going to choose a dog. So she went to this place where all the dogs were there. There were three or four or five babies had been born. And when she went there, one of the dogs looked at her, the babies, and began to walk straight towards her, as if recognizing, as if making a choice. And she felt the connection and that was it. The decision was made. It can be as direct as that. On both sides there is a recognition, comfort, alignment and that's it.
This does not happen when somebody else chooses. The person may have no sensitivity, they may pick at random, oh this baby goes here, that one goes there. Doesn't work. So if you can, where there is an option to feel, you may feel what is right, what aligns better and so on. If it is possible to know the background of the child's family, that would be even better because ideally one would want some affinity and alignment of the instinctive inheritance of the child, soul aspiration as well as the environmental circumstance. If these three are aligned, it is good for the child. If it is not, if they are not, then there can be difficulties.
(0:15:41):
So I suppose this is the best I can say, given the circumstances and the limited information in the question itself. But even in the case of adoption, always be careful that if you can, to the extent possible, soul, psychology, biology instinct, inherited instinct – all three, if they can be aligned as far as possible, as close as possible to the family values, that would be wonderful. It does not happen always even in your own choice, in your own child, because yes, there might be alignment of the biology content, environmental sometimes, not always. Occasionally soul, not always. There are cases where a soul has chosen parents because of the strong health of their physique and their life force, a particular quality of strength of life force and the child says that's all I need, the rest I will figure out. The soul may choose like that. Or it may come for the spiritual nourishment in spite of knowing that the biology is not so strong and it may accept that compromise. So one doesn't always get this triple alignment, but the point is to attempt that wherever possible.
And finally, there was one question which was there in the chat box. I did answer it, but the answer was not complete because I didn't want to move too far out from the context already there. And the question was, ‘what about someone who does not wish to bear children as it's a massive responsibility to raise another soul and would rather raise one's own soul and spiritual life’. –So I spoke about the choice and how one would deal with the way the instinct works, and in any case it is there, it gets sublimated or modified or it's not too strong, it's okay.
But here the point which I want to highlight today is, yes, it is a huge responsibility. To raise a child means straight away the next 20 years of your life are committed. If you are unable to make that commitment, then it is not really fair. So it is a responsibility, but it can also be a great joy if you do it as part of your own sadhana and so you do not feel it as a burden at all. It is the natural experience for so many parents that by the time the child grows up to be an independent adult you suddenly say, ‘I don't realize how quickly the time passed’; just like that, the years have passed and well you have grown, they have grown and now that's it, your responsibility is practically over it can happen as smoothly as that and especially if aligned with your own spiritual journey, there can be a natural alignment of the growth, aspiration, values, etc. which is what has been the overall theme of these discussions, as far as possible I have tried to show how this can be nurtured.
But particularly in this case, when there is a demand of a one-pointed sadhana, one may choose to have an exclusive focus or a shift in the balance sufficient that you do not have enough energy or time or commitment to help raise a child. In which case the instinct may be fulfilled by a finer form as we discussed last time. And there are many such examples we find in the ashram itself. For quite a while in the ashram, people were not allowed, as in the early phase of the ashram, when the concentration and the demand of intensity of focus was total, people were not allowed to come unless they were ready for that. So there were many cases where people had a real aspiration and Sri Aurobindo or the Mother would say no not yet, wait a few more years and only when they felt that you were ready they would say, Okay now you can come and then when you came it was a total commitment, even all the physical possessions, money and everything you gave to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo, that's it; you owned nothing and they gave you what was required. That was the extent of that one pointed self giving to the divine, it had to be all through in all the parts of your being and you can't do that and raise a child. So obviously you can still align to a spiritual life but not with this kind of an exclusive focus, obviously yet there were people who came into this sphere of their influence, who came to the ashram, joined the Yoga and as best as they could they brought it as close to that as possible. So I am giving this as an example, it is possible, it is difficult.
(0:20:29):
And there were a few women particularly who had very strong maternal temperament. One particularly, that I think Sri Aurobindo identified as being the reincarnation of Yashoda, that is Krishna's mother. And she was, as I heard from some of the people, extremely affectionate with children and she was so motherly, just like that. So one can still have that expression, but in a space where the children do exist. Imagine if the ashram did not have those children, who came only in the early 40s. She would not have had occasion for that, but she had still that thing and it might have turned to others. But it is possible and I would say simply each one has to become conscious not to enforce by some fixed mental idea but rather to let, set aside all your preconceptions in mind, emotions and go as deep as you can to feel within you what is your deepest and highest aspiration, and I will use this word conviction deep knowledge or faith,- I know this life it is like this, it's not a hesitation, it's not like ‘I would have liked this but’ or it's not a mental conception ‘that's how it should be so I'm going to do it’; that's not going to work, eventually you'll end up with conflict between different parts; it can only be found in that deeper part, deepest part of you that you can reach. And then from there, when that conviction turns, it suffuses the mind and the emotions and the body. And then whatever the particular pattern of your nature, temperament, instincts, they will be softened, guided, assisted, raised, purified, refined, sublimated, not so important, if this is clear and strong. But it has to come from that which is not a mental construction or a vital desire, form and an attempt to imitate what seems to you to be the right thing to do. Life does not work like that and especially human nature is too complex. So make a choice where you have a clear choice, where you don't have a clear choice, follow what opportunities life offers you and make the most of each step.
So with this background where we have covered some of the questions from the chat box last time, I would like to proceed with the overall theme. One more question from Khyati, “If a pregnant mother gets a diagnosis of a congenital anomaly, should she continue the pregnancy or not?”– It's a difficult question. My answer will necessarily be controversial. controversial, but I will put it this way, very simply. From the soul's point of view, to have a healthy body would always be better. A lot may depend on how far down the pregnancy is, but there is a period, let's say in the first few months, when the soul may not have infused itself or identified with the fetus, when perhaps the right thing would be to terminate the pregnancy and of course with today's means we can detect these things very early on and so there should be no problem.
There are certain traditions, religious traditions which consider that from the moment of conception it's a soul that's not true from a spiritual point of view the soul actually can be present before, can be there during or after conception and even make a full entry after birth. There is a lot of variation there, but a soul would normally want a healthy body and where it finds the body is not sufficiently healthy and it has a clear choice, it may even choose to withdraw if the body is defective. So, keeping the larger perspective, this would be the better way. In fact, in the ancient times, great importance was given to the quality of heredity. So, there are certain markers, not so nice to say it because a lot of this today is classified under racism, but markers of teeth, bone structure, facial structure, body symmetry, appearance and so on, which reflect often certain genetic propensities.
And so the principle is very simple, if the genes are in harmony, it will reflect in a form which is also more harmonious. So they would look at the potential match of the parent from a very biological perspective. And it was not intended to be racist, it was because in the community, in the collective consciousness, the quality of the stock of the genetic base was considered extremely important. Somehow in the last few decades that factor has been replaced by this emotional love, affection, attraction aspect, which falls back to a lower grade of nature which is more instinctive, whereas a mentalized society would actually say, yes, that is good but we also need to verify this because we want the human species as a stock species to grow in capacity and strength and health and intelligence and beauty and resilience of health and so on. So yes, these things were seen, people were conscious of it and those were the values of society then, today's values are different.
(0:26:34):
And so there was a term eugenics, where you select and you where possible avoid breeding those in whom there is a genetic defect, so that that defect is over time taken out of the collective stock. Today that is considered to be extremely wrong because it is infringing on individual freedom and rights. So like I said these are values of society but we have to understand the principles and apply as far as possible and I think that should be enough for the question. I come now to the original theme which we have been covering through these last three sessions and today the fourth, which I took as base- Nitin's original question, ‘how do you raise a child when you know that you know nothing and are yourself starting on a conscious evolution’.
So we have covered quite a long perspective. In the discussion last time particularly, when I described the play with children, the hiding, discovering, hide and seek or the throw, catch, exchange, interaction which is the relationship the psychic being has with everything in the universe. I use this phrase, ‘psychic games’ and I want to on it:
Consider if you were conscious and identified with your psychic being, you would choose to take birth with a sense of purpose, broadly the line of experience you want to develop. You would have the sense of the rich past experiences through various lives. Draw from each of those lives which were mostly specialized life experiences, certain aspects, certain capacities, certain tendencies, which are all within you, which are yours. But draw them forward as if to amalgamate and form a particular frame of personality. This is what I want to do, this is what I want to exercise, build upon, experience, develop and then look for an environment suitably aligned to assist this purpose; and like I said it could be anything from just a particular quality of vitality or intelligence or spiritual environment or one person in the family that you feel aligned to, yes this will give me the nourishment or sometimes a known person, this is someone I know and I would like to be with them.
So in the ashram we had the case I have said of a father who had a daughter he is passed on, he takes birth as her son. So the son is a reincarnation of the grandfather's soul. Personality is different, so we don't say the same person. Well, the line of the consciousness, the soul. Why? Well, it felt right, it felt comfortable and it was within the environment of the ashram and it was one of the available opportunities, isn't it? So, you have this and now you incarnate. The sense of purpose is you know, being lost as you fuse into the physical body, so the soul retains what it can as far as possible and then as the surface personality is sufficiently formed that you will not disrupt it, you allow the memories or the imprints to infuse more and more directly. So a case of somebody I met very recently, through the childhood, he has a sense of various, even a sense of recollection but a little clouded. And then at the age of 15 suddenly the whole memories come rushing back, literally going back several lives. And then he saw that all the things he had been taught, and he grew up in a very strict Catholic family, the grandmother was head nun in a monastery so he had by the age of 10 read the Bible 4 times and at the age of 15 he said, oops all this is not relevant. So why did he choose that family?
While conversing with him I said to him just like that I said this life you have chosen a very strong warrior personality for the nature of the work you have to do. He said, yes, it was for that particular quality of life force which that family had, very strong, and at the age of 65, 66 today he can do a bench press of 100 kilos, just like that. It's quite amazing to see. Rock solid physique for that choice. Very clear, and the memory is very clear even of having made that choice.
(0:31:32):
So, if you were so aligned to your psychic being, you would have all this and then if you lived in the psychic, now you don't, even after having reincarnated, you come into a personality, you identify with the personality, but the psychic may be behind as an influence. But if now in this new personality, you recover the psychic consciousness and now experience the world in the way the psychic being experiences it. What do you see? ‘ I am immortal. I was, I am, I will always be’. Nothing can prevent you from doing whatever you want. Even if something came and whack, knocked out your body, you, nothing can knock out. You just take a new body, come back, first opportunity. Whatever best circumstances you could find, and continue exactly what you want to do, isn't it?
So it's almost like a child playing a video game. And I will push this analogy a little far. For those of you who have played video games where you play the role of something, someone, an adventurer, let's say, treasure hunt, I'm taking a more mild game, otherwise today you have all kinds of pretty crude, coarse violent games, adventure nevertheless but, so I am taking a mild game, you're in a treasure hunt, quest, whatever you want and you face all kinds of things, fantasy land, whatever you want. You chose your game first. Was it going to be an airplane game, war game, fantasy game, relationship game, anything. They are called RPGs, role playing games. You take on a role, you take on a buddy, literally, and then you go and explore, interact with people. And then you get knocked out. If it's one of those adventure games where you can get shot or killed or you fall into some trap, what happens? You restart or you continue where you left off. So you have three lives, they say. First life gone, oh, I died. But I'm back exactly where I was, second life. That gets knocked out, third attempt, depending on the game you can have more. Or you restart, because now you have some defect, some lack, and you need to take a few steps back and rebuild that capacity which is insufficient. You restart, isn't it? Or you say, well, I think this game is a little too advanced for me, let me build that other facet first and then come back to this and change the nature of the game.
So from the soul's point of view you have eternity ahead of you. One of the conversations with this friend is he said we had a point of disagreement regarding certain things. He said okay, we will review this after a million years. He meant it seriously. I said no 1000 years is good enough, by then it will be obvious. We were talking of evolution and I said there will be a change in the biological evolution itself and he was skeptical. I said it will be obvious in less than a thousand years. So we will review at that point. The question of course is, will he and I both remember and when we meet, we'll say, ah yes, we made a bet, let's see. Right? Of course, it requires an integration of the personality with the soul. But from the psychic point of view, yes, such a compact can be made, is made, and sometimes souls do come together for specific assignments, tasks or experiences, and then move on. But you have eternity before you. You can wander all you want, as long as you want, take your time, where is the hurry? Except when you are trying to catch an evolutionary wave, which is the case now for all of us.
So there is this huge tidal wave, I will say, tsunami coming, whooom, and if you can ride that wave you can make a huge progress, an opportunity of not just lifetimes, a unique opportunity of all the lifetimes, because because such a wave has never been before. And so the psychic being says, Wow! What an opportunity! I want to make the most of it. Oh! This personality! It's… What to do? It keeps pulling and pushing in all those directions. It's so confused. I am unable to infuse the light into this, for a more mature psychic being. Then there are less mature psychic beings, which are half asleep, which feel which feel called, and it's like looking through a hazy consciousness like through a mist and you say, I find the light here, I don't know where it's going but it feels right and I pursue the light. But then there are clouds which come, clouds which pass like when you are in a mountain or a valley and suddenly a cloud comes and suddenly the whole scenery is gone and you wait for the cloud to pass. But you are helpless because the cloud is bigger than you and these are the veils in the surface personality and the passages of life and you are waiting and sometimes you feel so suffocated you ask for the help from above, you ask the Divine Mother help me and then occasionally there is an alignment and a push comes from outside to help break the clouding and so on.
(0:36:48):
But from the psychic point of view now you look at the whole universe. What are you here for? Of course your growth, of course the experiences. But the nature of the experience is an exploration of everything that's there. Wow! What an interesting experience! Because there's nothing that can harm you or destroy you ultimately. And exploration of yourself. What is capacity? All these things which I aspire to do to become drawing out, experimenting, exploring and how do you draw out? By engaging with things outside. Every interaction challenges you to draw out something more, explore, develop and perfect something more. So it is through these interactions and what is the essence of that whole engagement, you see- You put you put out something and something comes in response. And then you put out something new as a response to it and there's a response, reaction we will say, from the circumstances. And then again an action and a reaction, back and forth, back and forth. And that's the throwing of the ball, throw, catch, exchange, and making it more and more skillful as you grow older. Now you're not throwing directly, you're throwing with a bounce, you're throwing with a deception, making it more and more complex, and then you start playing tennis or table tennis or football, basketball. The same game now has acquired greater complexity to match your skill, capacity, experience, richness. But all life is that, isn't it?
And the second aspect is just as you're discovering layers of your own capacity, you discover layers of appearances. I thought the world was like this, but now, Ah! there's so much more that I have missed. I need to explore this. And then again a layer peels off and, ‘ah!, so much more’. And then in relationships, something familiar here, I don't know what and I'm waiting and a layer peels off, I say, ‘ah, this is interesting’, ‘oh, there's so much more’. So it's really the hide and seek, things are hidden or sometimes we are required, you choose to hide even. Sometimes you choose to hide from yourself and reveal, sometimes hide from others and reveal. So the whole play really, if you see from the psychic point of view, is just this. And with the baby you are replicating this in the most simple manner in the games that we discussed last time.
I'm going to build on this psychic perspective. Now what happens in the newborn child, this influence let's say, it doesn't mean the psychic being is fully awake. It can be half awake, it can be in a quiet aspiration but not mature enough. But the turn of aspiration of the psychic being is there. In this psychic influence, which I will use as a general term now, the personalities have not yet formed distinctly that they cover the influence. So there is a particular point, why I used the phrase last time of first three years, around three years typically, sometimes two, two and a half, typically three, the aspect of the vital nature suddenly emerges and there's a sudden shift and a character of the vital consciousness rises. I've shared perhaps here maybe two sessions ago, one of my doctor friends who saw in his child the vital, let’s say sheath or being even from the vital world come and identify and join with the child at that age. It is not always so obvious, sometimes it is something, element, which has been brought as material but now is allowed to come forward, but it is held in the vital layer as a potential waiting.
Now again, subsequently, the physical body is growing, vital body is also now going and then at some point the mental characteristics, the mental consciousness or the mental sheet, to the extent it is being developed and infused, suddenly aquires a greater force, is activated as if amplified. Now we have three sheets, the gross physical body, and then the vital body and the mental body. These three sheets, the psychic being has taken on as material, even as it was entering incarnation, but now they are being activated, especially with the content of what has been brought forward by the psychic personality, being infused into these, shaped and activated.
(0:41:41):
Now what happens, the moment these sheaths begin to grow, and this is nature's instinct, the whole interest becomes in the experience of that sheath. Oh, this is so interesting, my senses, oh, such beautiful colors, such wonderful sounds. The whole sensory turn outside, identifying with the physical body, I am body. I feel the pain. Oh, I am pain. I feel happy. I am happy. I am sad. You see the identification of the life energy is with the emotions. I am thinking, my thought,- and now already the ego complex has acquired a sufficient individuality that I am this. No more the psychic. And in this I am, I am pulled by my desires, I am guided by my dreams, thoughts, hopes and I'm held back by the body's habits. But this is me. And yet the psychic influence might be strong. But I am this, I am not that.
So what happens in the formation of these layers, the individuality often gets covered up, the true individual gets covered up, but if that did not happen, the psychic being would not have developed these instruments through which to act and experience the physical world and grow in the physical evolution. It could have stayed in its own domain in the psychic world and looked at the world and say, ah, mental world is nice, physical world is interesting, far away, mmm..I don't want to get in, which is what happens in the case of many of the higher gods. Too messy to get into biology, you get so dulled and this body is so limiting, suffocating, darkening, you forget your divinity, you lose your divinity, why would you ever want to do that? I'd rather live in that bliss, whiteness, freedom, joy, full of light, a billion times more wonderful, why would I even want to get into this darkness and forget everything, lose everything. So those gods prefer to stay. Or they put out a little projection, align with an individual and partially experience and draw the growth.
But the psychic beings who have chosen to incarnate are the adventurous ones as they will be described in those worlds, here you have lost it. But it is only by losing as if you can build the vehicle through which you can experience and engage with the world and master your circumstances. And therefore the necessity provisionally of the ego-centre for the development of the personality, always if possible under influence of the psychic, guiding, shaping, even this. And then later when this is sufficiently individualized and you have a focal point in the outer machinery of individuality, ideally then the psychic would infuse more and more into it and replace the ego sense by the true I. And now you say, I am incarnated. I have these thoughts and these emotions and experiences, although I am conscious now of the sheets that I have put on, I am not them. And yet I can identify them as much as I want for the purpose of the experience, or disengage as required. Or even accept to stay identified with me as the leader and not some ego habit pattern which would be the most wonderful way of being, isn't it? And then with that now is when you open to the still higher ranges and possibilities and all these three levels bringing in those possibilities, infusing, participating in the full evolution and divinization and that would be the most natural thing because the psychic being knows that, yearns for that.
But in the interim, before one can reach the stage, there is the loss, the covering. And this is where you as a parent or educator can make a huge difference. These three layers forming, if left to themselves and the habit, the instinct and the ego drive would identify with these and totally lose itself in them and even if there is a sufficiently strong psychic influence it may not be strong enough because this is so compelling, or if it is there it will navigate but against the very intense pulls and pushes of the ego drive desires. So nudge, nudge, but takes 10 years to through those nudges to get to somewhere worthwhile. So the tendency is for these layers to cover up. But if right from the beginning, during the formation of these layers, the alignment of the values and the influence of the psychic was kept sufficiently pure and clear and strong, then the layers would form under its influence and reveal rather than cover up the psychic influence. That would be a perfect education, isn't it?
(0:47:00):
So as your body grows, it becomes naturally a repository, a vehicle for the psychic values and inspiration and its ideals and its sense of the purpose of the physical world, the sense of the sacred even in the body held would be strong and with it a sensitivity which may not always be very comfortable but the sensitivity would also protect. The same with the life energies and emotions, great, strong, vital, enthusiastic, to what? To discovery, to growth, to serving, to living for a higher ideal, to giving itself, consecrating to whatever it can at its age and stage of development conceive of as the highest, but not just to satisfy its own desires. And the mind as it forms would seek to know, to understand, to go behind the appearances and know the universe and know the truth behind and even discover the divinity and the wonder in which the manner, the skill, the knowledge with which the divine consciousness forms all this. And that would be a discovery of science even as it would be an exploration of the universe and the reference of the higher knowledge and ideals, around which literally the whole personality and the life-sense could be organized.
And then I would be identified with this highest point of mind vital and the physical consciousness, but under strong influence of the psychic being, that is, I, this thinking being, inhabiting this, am conscious of a deeper and higher sense of purpose and can then turn within to consciously open to the psychic influence, turn above to open to the divine influence and that's naturally effortlessly your journey in the yoga. From birth through to this, at best, in between, you would have momentary deviations, distortions, explorations to know what's it like to go against that and you go through it and you feel the loss and you feel the pain of the mistakes made and you say, ah, it's not worth it, but the temptation will be there; and especially if you have a very strong vital, if you have strong desires, the pulls and pushes are stronger. Or if you have a very well developed intellect, the questioning part of the intellect must fulfil itself to its maximum by questioning its own experience. In a kind of a atheism, agnosticism or even a revolt against what it knows by experience, simply to explore what it is like and then come through it and say, ‘ah yes, it's validated’, and similar passage for the vital and the physical. Briefly, briefly, not always needed, but when needed you understand its place and make as rapid a passage through it as possible. Such would be ideally the unfoldment and development of personality. Now as a parent one can hope, as a teacher you can hope, educator you can hope. As a child and as adults today we have to put into practice as best as we can.
(0:50:40):
So coming back to the question, ‘what could you do as a parent to assist in this, to make this as smooth as possible’, let's say and know that it won't always be possible. There will always be all kinds of deviations, brief passages, you can't help it. That's the nature of the world today, very strong pulls and pushes, but if you equip your child, your child will learn to navigate through it. Well, the first requirement would be for you to have that sensitivity, isn't it? If you don't have it, how will you recognize that trend? Or how will you inculcate?
Because the child will naturally turn to you and draw from your example by identification. In all these parts, mental consciousness is vital and physical, isn't it? And this is the reason why very often you see in their stage as teenage, the child looks now because the intellect is kicking in, ‘my parents don't talk reason, rationally; they don't know anything; they are dumb. I am going to talk to ask whoever seems to be able to talk’ in the value system which is now kicking in. Can you match that? If you can, the child will say, ‘yes, my parents are actually able to teach me this. They are some of the smartest people. But they don't have this which that one has’. You will never win.
You will always go through this, where you are never good enough. But at least you can give that much that you have. But this is true much more of the overall sense of the psychic influence. And especially we are speaking now of the early years. You have to be conscious, as far as possible aligned and living it. It's a great demand, knowing that you are unable to fulfill it, fulfill the ideal of the attempt, that you refer to that always. You make mistakes, you get upset, you do things which are contrary to your psychic values, you make corrections and you say it, this part, it was not acceptable, I'm sorry about this, make the correction, move on, that's the example your child is going to draw upon.
We will also draw upon one more tool which I have so far been highlighting a lot, your natural tendency to identify with the child and the child's tendency to identify with you. And that is always in the basis of love.
But what kind of love?
It can be a very physical, possessive, clingy love.
It can be a more refined, emotional, devotional, pure love or it can be infused with the psychic aspiration.
Again the choice, the quality that you bring in will then infuse into the child. In the grade of the love, will also be the grade of the identification and the sensitivity to what is right and what is not, when it is aligned and when it is not. So if you have a very strong emotional temperament, you will not feel the psychic refinement, unless you have already familiarity with it. If you have familiarity you will say, ‘oh wow, the child has more of this than I’. If you don't have familiarity, you will say, ‘Oh, this child is too weak, too idealistic, impractical’. ‘No, you need to be hard in your life, you need to become strong, you need to do all the wrong things, you need to be able to… ‘. And you give them the contrary push example.
And if this psychic influence is strong, the child will withdraw or revolt against this, because it feels something wrong or it may get swept into it and lose. I have seen this happen in a few cases where the thing was lost. I have also seen examples where somehow it was protected and in spite of circumstances, after a passage of momentary appearance of loss at least it came forward again strongly or others where it has actually gone straight through. All these possibilities exist. Much depends as a conscious parent of what is the deepest and highest value that you can live by in consciousness terms. Which then you can support your child with. But also sense what the child needs on that level.
(0:55:05):
So I am going to use now a phrase here: Trust your feeling. The problem is this word feeling is very ambiguous. Feeling can be everything from it feels hot to the touch, that's a sensory feeling, to an emotion I feel happy or sad, or to a deeper sentimental emotion which is perhaps closer to the psychic reflection but not truly psychic, where you say, something feels wrong, I don’t know what. A true psychic perception feels ah, this is unacceptable. I give an example here, which happened in the Ashram's kindergarten, where the Mother was very particular, that she picked only teachers who had a sufficient sensitivity of the psychic influence, let's say a certain transparency, so that those values would be as closely as possible held in that space. Where it (was) particular that others from outside should not be allowed into that space and certain things not to be done.
Somebody came, it was one of these new agey fancy persons who had just joined Auroville in those days and she came and offered to teach in the kindergarten, do some activities and she came with certain new skills. So then she got the children to hold hands in a circle and sit in a circle and do something. Instantly the other teachers, they felt uncomfortable, they felt something odd. But they didn't have the competence to be able to say, ‘hey, this is wrong, don't do this’. They didn't feel at least because here was somebody who was supposedly an expert and trained in whatever she was doing. So they came to my teacher, MP Pandit, and they described what was happening and my teacher immediately said, no, this will harm the psychic sensitivity, Mother did not want that to be affected, you must stop it immediately. And so they did whatever was required.
I am showing this because she felt, the teachers, couple of them felt, something is not okay here. Notice, you will have that. To the extent you are conscious within you and the more deeply you are conscious, you will feel, you will know, trust. So, I am again going back to this phrase, trust what feels right and true within you. But this word feel now is ambiguous. Ideally, it would be the psychic at least influence within you. Do not follow blindly the programming from religious and social or now scientific teachings or books. Mostly, they don't know or they know only a little piece and that they consider is all that they know or they just repeat what someone has told them without ever verifying.
If you see the nature of science, for decades, for decades, all the European Western science books would tell you lay your child flat on the stomach to prevent crib deaths, because this is one thing which was happening, children suddenly dying very early on for no reason at all and they die in their sleep and I have mentioned before sometimes it is because of that thing which I will not name but there was no reason, sudden infant death syndrome, they will call it, crib death. But they found supposedly by some research that placing the child on the stomach face down while sleeping would reduce the incidence of crib death. So all the official government, official books, the best of science said do this, put your child on the stomach.
Now, if you are a parent, if you are a mother, if you have a slightest sensitivity, you will feel weird with that position. Even to yourself, observe the difference when you sleep in different positions, when you sleep flat on your stomach, on your chest, it does not feel uplifting in quality of consciousness. That tends to happen more when you are on your back, sometimes turning a little bit, but a mother who has that sensitivity and is not brainwashed by the belief system of science or religion or society would say, hmm…feels wrong but you've been given the fear, ‘put the child this way to prevent death’. ‘My god, I can't risk it, I'll follow what I'm told’, except that 30 40 years down 50 years I don't know exactly when, the research is reviewed new research done and they say with the child on the stomach with the chest compressed by the weight of the body is when you have higher symptoms of higher cases of sudden infant death syndrome.
And suddenly now the well, I don't know if textbooks changed because they don't even know they don't care to keep up with new research but the government at least passed the correction. I think it was the British government when I saw the report they said now we change the whole guideline, we say, ‘No, don't put the child on your stomach’. So who was right?
(1:00:30):
Trust, that's why I'm saying. Trust what feels as close to the psychic influence, true, right within you. Distrust programming, where it feels in contradiction with this deeper. And then now, as now the child is growing, our focus today is the further growth beyond the first three years. I will give a few examples, but also I will try to touch principles that would operate all the way through and into our adult life also.
Observe your child. -The first responsibility of a teacher and a parent is to observe the child. The more carefully you are able to observe, the more you will find the child reveals to you what is required. Child will show you what he needs next. Child will show you when he is ready to move on from this activity to the next. Child will show you what is the missing thing required which is not there in that environment. Watch carefully, without preconception. Set aside everything that you know. Watch with a free mind. Maria Montessori, the founder of the Montessori system, shares an example of how she would bring these games for the children when they had finished playing. She would arrange them into boxes, take them, go to the cupboard and arrange them in the cupboard. Having done this mechanically as all the teachers do, she noticed the children watching keenly as she is arranging. She takes the things and places in the cupboard and they come and watch her place in the cupboard.
And she noticed, you see she was also a mystic, she sensed in the children this urge to replicate. And she said, okay, let's do it together. So you start arranging as I arrange. So they watch you arrange. And of course, there's a hesitation, it takes longer, they don't fit the pieces in the right place. That itself is the learning experience. And then they're lifted, they're struggling to maintain balance, they come and place in the cupboard, initially haphazard. Then they see that it can be arranged differently, they learn to do it, and the whole range of faculty is being kicked in and it gives them so much joy to have done it. And having arranged, and all of us experience this when you've arranged your room, you feel inside the clarity, I am clear, neat, arranged.
When it's chaotic it is a reflection of my internal chaos or I don't feel clear. She observed this, recognized and utilized that instinct. But most teachers, most parents are too busy with their preconceptions or with the thing to be done, ‘ah, it's time, we have to close, we have exactly 30 seconds left before the classes change, move quickly’. –No, you've stopped looking, you've stopped observing, you've stopped identifying to feel. And therefore this deep sensitivity that you need to have.
Observe keenly; and you'll see even in the most difficult problematic circumstance of children, in the very problem in the identification with the child's consciousness and observing the tendencies, you will be shown what is required. Because something inside the child, the psychic, is nudging, pushing, guiding to emerge from that difficulty. And if you are aligned in your own influence within, that's the point of resonance. And you feel what the psychic within aspires or nudges towards, you catch and move, assist. It's actually so simple. You do not need beyond this any other theory. And then you can observe those tendencies and make theories, generalize from observations and write a whole book. Okay, but there will be exceptions where the book will fail. So the first responsibility is going to be observe in that deeper resonance as close to the psychic influence as possible. If you have also worked upon the intuitive consciousness and the intuition is reasonably active within you, you will get those occasional flashes of insight, ’Ah! This is what it is’. Okay. So you watch, you feel, and then click, flash. Ah, yes. And you move forward. It's a great joy when you can do it like this.
(1:05:13):
You notice in this, in the child, in the accomplishment, there is the enthusiasm of learning, you have the enthusiasm of learning and it is of the same grade. Only you have a bigger body, different, more complex skills, but the spark of awakening, the flash of that ‘Aha, I just discovered’, is the same. You feel yourself a child with them. Isn't it? And so from there comes the first principle of true teaching that nothing can be taught. And therefore, your role in the child's upbringing is as a friend, guide, helper. You can't be teaching because that's not how it works.
We'll look at these three principles later. Maybe I will put up some things from my workshop recordings, but I'm just pointing how this works. You'll notice in the children automatically and especially when the psychic influence is strong, the enthusiasm to learn. They want to grow and the great joy that comes from learning and growing, there's nothing that can equal. If they have not been damaged at home, this is intact, or not been damaged by other teachers which also could happen. But if they have been damaged here they are tentatively attempting and you can create a space where they can learn to feel, ‘Yes I can and I can be trusted and I can, I'm loved and I am trusted’ and do. So it's as if you delegate responsibility but allow them bit by bit to come into their own. Always with observing, keenly watching, you give something, watch how they respond, allow them time and so on.
I remember somebody had brought her child here to our house and she was cuddling the child all the time, handling the child all the time. My mother watched her for a while, a young mother. Finally she said, you know what, you don't need to be clinging to the child all the time. Let your child be free for a while. And she put a mat and said, now leave your child on the mat and watch. It was fascinating. The child suddenly realized, I am actually free to move. I can do what I want. So first it was surprised, it looked around and then the curiosity kicked in and then it started trying to crawl and get up and explore its world and started exploring the universe, which it never got a chance because its mother was always pushing it, do this, do that, don't do this, I am holding you, you don't have a freedom to find yourself even. Because well, she was too driven by her emotional passion, not becoming quiet and observing what the child needs. My mother caught that and she said, ah, do this. I don't know if she was able to carry it on later, I don't even remember who it was now, but that scene is quite vivid. And the enthusiasm of the child now, looking, wow, what is this? Oh, interesting, and then it starts pulling from the mat, pulling something, maybe it will want to taste, push or walk, and suddenly feel the body sensations, what's it like to crawl? Strange, huh! Fun!
Now, this I am pointing to especially because there is a very powerful drive here awakening. The enthusiasm to learn and with that the joy of discovery, learning and growing. This is the single most powerful driver of growth. The single most powerful motivation for life in everything, in every way at all age. It's already there innate in the child and you observe, you nurture, you nourish, at best you guide the child wants to do, is looking for this, okay you bring it a little closer and the child maybe takes a few steps; you've shortened that journey of something which is unreachable, you brought it within reach.
But you don't just put it in his hand. Let him take those steps, touch, play, explore. You make sure it's clean, so that even if he wants to bite, taste, fine. So you are there to support, but you do not interfere. But you allow that enthusiasm of learning learning to grow and then if as the child grows older, now that same enthusiasm is your prime driver, you are allowing the freedom of exploration, of course now within more practical limits of what is possible or within time limits sometimes and so on, but never question that, never stop that.
In the ashram school, from the kindergarten through to graduation, there are no exams. Mother deliberately removed the exams, they used to be there earlier, because the teachers came with those old fixed ideas. And there was a point where children were caught cheating and Mother used that occasion to force the resistant teachers to switch, she said no, if they have to lie to pass an exam, we don't want the exam. Now you could have exams, you could have tests, but for fun, but when it becomes a threat, a fear, when it is defining you, where you have to lie, no. So she used that as a reference to remove it. So today we have no exams in that sense.
But the first thing people ask when they hear that, how do children study? How do you motivate them? See how warped society has become. Having killed the initial enthusiasm of the child, you now have to motivate them by carrot and stick. That's the industrial mentality. You shape, you drive them to motivate. How? Give a reward or put a threat. Both are perversions. From the psychic viewpoint, both are perversions. Because then you are putting a false value system in the reward and then you are introducing fear which is the greatest falsehood; both are asuric and they damage the soul's evolution in the long run.
(1:11:26):
So their first question, how do you motivate the children? –The answer is very simple: the deepest, highest, most powerful motivation is the joy of learning. There is no greater motivation, and all the way through adulthood. And if this can be nurtured from the beginning and allowed to grow as your prime driver, you do not need anything else. I look back now because I am at that age now when you start, sorry for that. I look back at some of those experiences and I remember one point where I told my mother, the homework is boring, but if I do all the homework, I will get a reward at the end of the year. They used to give this reward or prize of excellence. And all you needed to do was do your homework and obey the teacher. And I told my mother, it doesn't interest me. I would rather do other things. Is it okay if I don't get the reward? And she said, yes, go ahead.
So I deliberately refused to do what I thought was pointless and I did all kinds of other things. In those days you didn't have the internet, so with little books, electronics, experiments, I would go to the radio repair department, watch them, learn. They had magazines which I would see and go to the workshop where the cars and bicycles were repaired, during the time of the official holidays and this was fortunately again came from my mother, the support, which department do you want to work? Sometimes the suggestion was made for me, once Panditji told me, you know what, you need to learn to repair fridges because we have a lot of problem with this. So I worked, well I spent a while with the fridge department, there was not much to do there, but it was an exposure. But other things, where I watched with fascination and even did things on my own, including clock repair, watch repair and all that. At one point the typewriter which Sri Aurobindo had used for writing the Arya came to me in the department I was working in, Atelier. They wanted to clean it up and it had to be dismantled, cleaned from rust and put back and I did that whole thing. And at that time I was told, this is Sri Aurobindo's typewriter. But I saw that when you fitted it back, certain keys were not aligning exactly and the person said, don't worry, it's not going to be used, we just need it to be back in shape, in order.
But all that went very deep in the way it taught deeper faculties. Three-dimensional rotation, for example, is one of those faculties you never taught in school. Can you, for example, visualize within your mind your own house or if you are part of a flat, then the entire structure of flats Can you visualize in your mind now build a 3D image, rotate your eye position, place yourself inside any position any corner and view the whole thing from inside there and finally put yourself at the basement and look up from there, just like that in your mind rotate it, that's simple. Now you look at a car engine which has like several hundred pieces working together and aligned in very complex geometric arrangements. Can you actually visualize their position in relation to each other and their functions? When this pulls, it pulls that, which pulls that, which pushes this.
And all this is being trained just like that for doing nothing except watching and playing with it. And these are powerful faculties. Once this capacity to rotate in three dimensions develops in your mind, it is actually a link point for the higher intuition. Because the intuition experiences from all directions. So the link from thought to intuition requires some of these special faculties to be ready. And so just playing, just observing, interacting, not doing much really, except having fun, you're growing. And the joy of learning, you come away, you've grown, you've learned something new, of course it wears out. So I had a month maybe and then I've done pretty much everything that could be done here. I would have wanted to switch, but that was the situation then I was also not conscious, I didn't know what was possible. So I do feel I lost some time but if from both sides there was sufficient awareness, maybe I could have learnt at least 10 times more.
(1:15:52):
And not having things like the internet which today is a huge gift, you can do so much more. You can learn at a pace which is, and without exaggeration, 10 times faster than what your current curriculum teaches you in school. And it does not need specialized intelligence. And your base of capacities can be so much richer, at least 10 times more rich, including things which you may not have any aptitude for, the fact that you engage with that activity awakens the capacity and develops it. And the earlier you do, the better it is.
Now to go back to the first three years particularly, if at that time there is a rich experience, the full development of your brain cells can take place. They grow because of the contact, especially the touch and the sensory contact. Your child's intelligence grows because of the sensory touch, the affection, the cuddling, the playing, the interaction, the massage and then the child beginning to look and explore the world. –All this is activating your brain cells and growing the brain cells, rapidly.
And they say that the brain cells continue to grow up to a certain age, I think up to 12, the head itself is growing and then it slows down. And then after the age of 21, the brain cells begin to die. That's what they tell you in your biology medicine. Yes, it's a genuine valid observation, but it's not true that it should be like that. It's because you stopped learning. It's because you stop pushing the boundary of learning and you began to do activities which depleted the brain, especially, you know, the exaggerated sexual activities where there is a depletion of the life force, which is very much part of the modern culture. And that depletes the brain, because there is the same content, same material which is used in the sexual depletion, which is used by the brain for regenerating its higher faculties, and the substance which is intermediate to the brain, to the mind, in between, the subtle physical substance.
So those children who have a concentrated focus on the learning experience and a rich base actually can continue to grow even the brain cells and the brain capacity which is a physical base for the mind, but still makes the mind able to more richly plug into the body all the way through into the ages 25 up to 30. And only after that, because there are certain major shifts that take place in terms of priorities, there is a narrowing. That you may have reduction and some certain unnecessary unused cells may begin to drop off. But again, those get reactivated or grow when you start learning new things. All this is to tell you how important that initial culturing of the drive of enthusiasm to learn and the deepest motivation is and it's something so fascinating to watch how nature is inbuilt this in the children. And then I see children because of whatever it is at home or school, they're dull, literally they're dead; they're passive sitting like this, eyes blank and the parents say, ‘come on, come on’, and he wanders off like a zombie.
I don't know where the damage is, whether it's in the school or at home, maybe a combination of both. It's so sad to see. And then there are other children, they're sitting there very quietly and keenly observing, noticing, internalizing, or sometimes they're thinking of something rich in their life, something is happening, it's not wandering aimlessly but actually some kind of a exploration and learning. And eventually it will come out in some response. And you can see the parents are more conscious. I don't know the school environment, it might be as bad, but just parents being conscious, you can make all the difference.
(1:20:00):
Again I am drawing on an animal experience. You look at the dogs. You look at videos of dogs who are going through training. It's one of the most fascinating things. The dog is, baby dogs, they are sitting like this, watching you, literally, full enthusiasm, waiting. When will you give the command? What are you trying to teach? Like that. And they show something and they do it. And they look at you for the reward. Oh, you're happy, I got it, that means I got it. They don't know exactly what you want, you're not able to communicate, you're kind of stupid, you're not telepathic like them, sorry. But that's their problem, they go, woof woof, you don't understand, what is this, I'm saying it to you. Okay, but when you can, or when they see, ah, on your face, you smile, ah, that means that is what you wanted, okay.
But there are people who also can picture what they want the dog to do. And then you say a word but with a clear articulation in emotional mind, it's not purely rational mind, emotional mind, and the dog gets it. They actually receive from you the image of what they require. And they get your word the first time. And sometimes combined with a body gesture, go and bring that. The word may be used for the first time, but they got the sense of it and they go and do it and they come to verify. Was that it? You smiled. Ah yes, I got it. Good transmission of telepathy. This is happening with human children all the time. But it's interesting to see the dog because it's shorn of all the mental, emotional dross that comes to cloud in the human babies. But that enthusiasm, that yearning, that wanting to learn, to grow, to exceed themselves and the joy it gives them after that.
And something very interesting which is there in animals in relation to humans, they want that acknowledgement from you, that they are cared for, that they are loved. So if you go to a horse farm, one of the things they do as a routine every day is the master has to be seated and the horses are paraded in front and the master has to look at them eye to eye, make eye contact, the horse feels, ah, I am respected now I am somebody worthwhile and he goes on, nourished by that eye contact and the communication. But it has to be from the master, who is the master is very important; the attendant doing it is not enough. If you don't do that, the horse loses enthusiasm, weakens and then becomes weak, loses interest. Dolphins similarly, these are all very highly developed beings.
So, dolphins similarly, if you punish them, they don't understand, why can't it just be joy and love? Because they do that with themselves and they go into depression and the flipper bends, that's a sign that they are depressed and they die of depression. You don't need sickness, they just die from depression. But something similar exists in human beings. I am taking these animal examples because the instinct there is pure, but it's there in us also. In the child it's like the light goes out and it's sad to see. And again it can be drawn out and I have seen skilful teachers who have been able to draw out that light and once again the eyes begin to shine and then the hope, is it really possible? There is a hesitation, sometimes a fear because they have been lost too often and then, ‘ah yes’, that you have to catch and nurture.
So the enthusiasm to learn, the reward of joy of learning and joy of growth and that is what you will enhance and this is the highest reward you can give. Still well, I think we have come to the time limit that we have. There will be one point though, which is how will you know what you can do with the child? What is it that will make it interesting? What is the next step? Now they have done the maximum. I don't know what to do. Observe the child. You will find the child wanting to try to do something. He will try. In the act of trying, you will generally say, ‘ah, no, no, that's an adult job, you don't do that’. You are preventing it. Observe what is the faculty innate to that trying and then begin to assist or allow at the level of competence possible at that age. But the child will show you in his natural urges what is required and you have to then guide in a healthy way. Sometimes the interest might be unhealthy and you should be able to show this part is dangerous, you can do that here but not there, etc.
(1.24.56):
So I don't know whether I have gone too much in detail, but what I am trying to transmit is something in my estimate, the single most important in terms of the value that you can transmit to a child. If this you have been able to convey, literally their entire journey of life is set. And this in the first six years. The sense of confidence, the sense of individuality, the sense of relationship with the world and the ability to be able to face the world, to learn, to grow on their own and to manage and navigate their way, everything would have been instilled in those first six years, just by this focus. And so from here, there will be further steps which may be covering from the age 6 to 12 and further on, we'll cover next time. But let's come back to the sense of the psychic being now, in this whole journey and the enthusiasm and joy that the psychic has. That's really the original spring of the enthusiasm in the mind, in the life energies, in the senses, in the curiosity and everything else, isn't it?
It comes from the psychic spark itself within you and its influence within the personality. If you have that and the resonance allows them to be nourished by that, you will share in their growth. Again, to take an animal example, when you teach your dog a new trick and the dog is able to successfully do it, not only the dog is so happy and proud, you are so content, isn't it? Because you have just so to say shared or given birth or transmitted a new quality, power, capacity, expanded the higher grade of consciousness and its joy into the world. So from the perspective of the psychic being as adults, when you are able to bring some change to their circumstances and especially nourish another psychic being's growth, it is one of the most fulfilling, isn't it?
Because, and we come to a very deep truth here, in the deeper spiritual truth we are all one being, one self. And here in this experience of the world with individualized souls, projections of the self, each time we assist another soul's growth or evolution, we are fulfilling ourselves in our growth. In their growth, we experience our growth. And equally the truth that when we grow, everyone else is so to say supported. But we don't see it as directly. Here in helping others grow we experience our own growth as if I in them have grown. In the awakening of the universe is my most complete fulfillment. Isn't it?
So there is this very superficial form in which this truth is warped when they speak of the selfish gene or the altruism as a superior mode of evolutionary drive. Nay, that's not quite true. Well, it's true superficially but it's not a reflection of a deeper truth. The truth is in the oneness and the sense of growth in others fulfilling ourselves and that's why the teacher commits to nurturing others, to giving them the best, the highest, the most wonderful education possible. That's why the parents also are doing that, isn't it? It's a miniature you projected out as your child or even as other children who are your your own projections maybe through other people's bodies and then the full nurturing of that is your growth and so, from the perspective of the self from the perspective of the psychic being, this is the deeper spiritual truth, irrespective of age. Even as a child when you assist an adult's growth you share in this principle, isn't it? So age does not matter. And then, from the Divine, who is ourselves in completeness, is the same sense of bliss and fulfillment in helping us in our growth.
When we grow, it is the Divine that grows in us. So the Divine puts on our human nature and our limitations, we put on the nature of the divine in humanity and there is this mutuality and intermingling, is the most complete nourishment and the joy of the awakening and growth. That's what this universe is born for. This multiplicity of units individualized and nurturing, sharing in each other and the delight progressively revealed in this mutuality of play what I described as psychic game of growth and nourishment and nurturing and the love and the ananda, the delight bliss which grow and emerge through this play. This is the true sense of that word Leela, the play of the divine progressively revealing itself and its degrees of delight, love and bliss. We can dwell on this and perhaps hold this as an aspiration for our relationships with all beings in the universe and of course our role in nurturing others irrespective of age and even with younger children.
<silence>
Namaste.