EWS #122 Questions on Meditation & Dreams + general Q&A    

July 30, 2022

Alina (0:00:15):
Namaste. Good evening everyone. Welcome to our continuing series, Evenings with Sraddhalu.

My name is Alina and I'm very sorry today I have a sore throat and my voice is a bit weak.

We will continue our sessions and last time we have explored the veil, cutting bridges and building bridges and today we will take a few questions related to our topic of today, meditation and dreams.

As usual during our conversation you may freely ask questions related with our topic. Namaste Sraddhalu.

[Sraddhalu] Namaste, happy to be with all of you.

We will take a question from Vaibhash which is related to meditation. Vaibhav is writing, “I am not able to feel anything above my head, mostly blankness. I am not sure how to feel Peace or Light or Love or Presence above head. I don’t feel anything descending.”.

Sraddhalu (0:01:39):
I think your voice was cut off .. after “I don't feel anything descending.”

Alina (0:01:51):
He says, “I don't feel anything descending. It is just when I start to concentrate on my head, neck, chest, arms, heels, feet. I feel relaxed, but this is the same when I do Shavasana. I am not sure how to feel something that you can't relate to. I know relaxation, but is it peace? I have no idea about light, love and presence. Or maybe I'm expecting something too high or fantastic. In the name of love, what I feel is only a turmoil of emotions. I don't know love in peace or silence. I must accept I'm guilty of not doing regularly meditation. It is not that time is the problem, but I'm too lazy and procrastinate things.

Sraddhalu (0:02:51):
Yes. I think Vaibhav's question would be useful to many who have perhaps been listening to our descriptions of concentrating above head and experiencing a descent, but who may not actually feel something which they could call a descent. They may feel good, they may feel peaceful, they may feel relaxed but they may not feel something actually going through like a descent or at least they are not able to experience it as a descending movement. Vaibhav also says that he feels he is guilty because he is not doing regularly but it's not time, it is laziness and procrastination.

But I would put it another way. One is naturally avoiding of something which does not give result. So perhaps just the fact that you don't feel something substantial, something which is for you valuable enough, that you don't feel it worthwhile to sit and do something where all you do is feel relaxed. So it may also not be laziness, it may simply be the fact that you don't feel it useful, that it's not helpful.

But let me comment a little bit on what it is that you are not feeling or you might be feeling. I wish we could have had a more one-on-one chat because then I would ask you a few questions to identify what it is that you feel. But just going by the text, the first thing is he says, you feel mostly a blankness above the head. That's your starting point. Concentrate on the blankness.

So we have used a word, peace or light or love or presence. Don't worry. The blankness is what you concentrate on. But you remain aware of it in a way that you lose awareness of everything else. Just stay aware of it until it's as if you are only aware of it and nothing else. So it's a poise of concentration, does not have to be strenuous, it's just a relaxed state of concentration where you choose to forget everything else and just stay aware of this blankness. That is what we will use the word Presence. You feel something, you call it a blank, no problem. As you stay with it, after a while, and put this as an intention, try to feel that this thing which you feel as a blankness is not like a hole, it's like a fullness which is blank. Just notice this quality and stay aware of this blankness which feels almost as if dense or heavy or intense in whatever way you register. Allow the experience or the perception or the immersion in the blankness to just densify, become more intense.

If you do nothing else and stay with that, after a point you will notice that what you were feeling above the head, you are also feeling a little bit within you and that's the movement already of the descent. But one also feels the descent in a more distinctive way, especially if you follow it with an intention, so that you as if invoke or allow, simply invoke the blank denseness to settle at the head, at the top of the head, as if gently inviting it and layer by layer following, confirming in your awareness.

You see, there are two sides to any spiritual experience: the first is a perception of something; and the second is a confirmation, a kind of a fixing, an acceptance allowing it to settle in you. So you're aware of this and then you allow it, let it settle and part by part in your own awareness, you as if become aware of it here and then here and then as if you confirm yes let it grow more dense and you follow. For many people the initial perception is felt more around, for others it is felt inside, whatever happens don't worry; there are variations to it. What you're feeling is still you may call it blankness, you may not call it peace; does not matter. What you experience is the beginning of something and you allow it to reveal itself. And in this way you may continue the process which you are already doing concentrating all the way to your feet as in the Savasana, except it's as if you are holding this awareness of that blankness or presence and allowing it to soak in, settle in.

(0:07:35):

There is another variation which happens to some people, while you may not feel the blankness also above the head, you may simply feel as a result of that concentration above a kind of a deep sense of settling into stillness or peace. But you did not feel it descending, you felt it as if emerging simultaneously from an inside-out, which often means that it has actually descended but at a deeper layer and from inside it spreads outward. But always there is a descent and it fills mostly in the inner layers. So what you are already experiencing above as a blankness, it's your starting point and so to say draw it or invite it, invoke it or confirm it step by step. If you do not register it in your current idea of peace, do not worry, you experience it as something, which later you will begin to feel as a certain intensity and density, which you will find no other word than to call a different kind perhaps of peace.

Light, love, presence– again these are things which will begin to feel later as the deeper perception opens. So, initial perception of something as a blank or a presence is all you start with. Not everybody has a perception of light. The perception of light itself gradually emerges. At first it's more like an awareness intensifying, which later becomes more and more intense until it seems as if it's a lit up awareness and then becomes brighter. Or sometimes you just feel a solid light. It varies, the variations are there. Simply allow from this which you have for the quality of awareness to become as if brighter, clearer. Don't worry about expectations, rather ignore expectations, allow the thing to reveal itself.

You've also commented, ‘in the name of love, what I feel is only a turmoil of emotions. I don't know love in peace or silence’.

And that's because our starting point is to feel emotions and to feel the body. Part of the reason why you register what is above as a blankness is because of the excessive identification with the physical body and the same reason for the feeling of the emotional turbulence which is all one gets. All these are normal to the surface part of us. And so one of the most important movements in any practice of spiritual life, generally in Yoga, will be a shift of awareness inward, a kind of a turning. In the classical yoga of Patanjali it is called pratyahara, withdrawal from the outer senses and returning in. And of course you don't shut off your senses; it's as if you turn your senses inward. So for this I will suggest a few things.

I will say you already have the experience, only you're not doing it intentionally and that's the experience one has when in daydream; you are wandering, you're somewhere else as if, but a daydream can be somewhat superficial. Here the intention is to turn to something still deeper. And the moment you deepen a little bit, it's as if all the experiences above and within begin to become available. And you will feel even this blankness above the head to become more intense, more vivid, and so on.

So this inward turn is of great value which means basically to stop identifying with the physical body and its sensations. What do you turn to? You turn to becoming aware of something within you, which is as if the love that you feel for the Divine Mother or the Divine or if you don't feel a love for the Divine Mother, you simply feel a certain sense of gratitude. Or even if you don't feel that as an emotion, you feel it as a very quiet feeling of, I belong to Her, or I am Her child. And even if you do not feel that, simply become aware that somewhere inside you, you know that you are a child of the Divine. Notice that something inside knows it and turn to that which knows it. Stay in that or stay turned towards that and this turning towards that is your basic interiorization. By itself it is enough to begin the whole thing.

We also use these words of devotion, love, gratitude but unfortunately these are the same terms we use for emotional experiences, whereas the experience of that part which knows, it's not emotional. And that's the reason why many people will say, I don't feel it, I don't feel love. Fine, you don't feel an emotional love. But you feel that part where you feel you belong to Her. Stay with that and a kind of a very quiet, subtle sense of gratitude to just be, gratitude that the Divine is present, it's not emotional gratitude, it's just a sense of knowing and self-giving, hold that. As this grows, all else becomes available. This itself is your movement of interiorisation. As you're fully in it, it's as if you have forgotten what is outside you. You may even at some point forget that you have a physical body. You are more aware of this than of the body. Or there is a double awareness. Hold this. Practise this. Stay in this.

(0:13:27):
If you are doing savasana, having done the relaxation of savasana, turn in this way and stay with this. It's a kind of a meditation in itself. But this will give you the facility of what we will call an interiorization, a general turning in and then perhaps a deepening towards that. From there then you will turn up and become aware of the space above and become aware of all that we discussed earlier. And you will notice it will be far more distinct, what you will experience will be also more distinct and so on.

So I would say whatever you may feel about not practising regularly and the guilt, set aside the guilt. You're fully justified in not being interested when you do not have a clear experience. Rather take these steps and the journey will begin. All of us have what is needed to begin the journey and that begins with this part deep within where you already know. Become aware of it, learn to immerse more and more, at least turn to it and then immerse in it. The rest will follow.

I think we can go to the next question.

Alina (0:14:42):
Andrei is writing, “When turning the consciousness inwards, sometimes the pulsating whirlpools of energy can be felt in palms and soles of the feet, as well as goosebumps in the spinal cord, spreading across the back upwards and downwards. Are these happening in a subtle physical or other plane? Is there any significance to these sensations and they should be cultivated?” That is his question.

Sraddhalu (0:15:15):
Yes, when the consciousness turns within, even a little bit in the way we described earlier, already one becomes conscious of many things which are within us. We become more conscious. That's all. As the inward awareness grows or becomes more normal, the perceptions of the inner also begin to grow. Certain things become quite vivid. What becomes vivid depends on where you put more attention. For some of us, spontaneously certain experiences pop up. In the case of Anderi, he describes how he feels sometimes, pulsating whirlpools of energy in the palms and soles of the feet, and goose bumps in the spinal cord spreading upward or downward and so his question is where is this happening and what should we do about it and whether they mean something.

Yes there's a significance. What you're feeling is real. Yes, there are energy centres; the palm is, centre of the palm particularly, is one of the natural centres of energy flow. In fact the arm is formed by the outflow of energy which in evolution of the body shapes these projections. And so it's one of the very natural passages through which energy flows. We spoke last time about the way the Mother blessed and the whole principle of the blessing where the spiritual energy itself can flow through the hand and particularly through the palms.

There is an interesting incident I recall. Suresh Hindocha, who was brother of Lalji bhai, he narrated this: he said he had gone to the Mother once with a question and they were talking about healing energy, healing power. And Mother said, do you have the power of healing? And Suresh said, I don't know. And Mother said, place your hand like this. So he was asked to place his hands palm up and Mother placed her palms over his at a distance facing down. So his hand below, her hand above and at a distance of about maybe two inches. And he says immediately he felt a tremendous heat in the centre of the palm as if a gushing energy of heat. And then Mother said, “yes you have it?”. And then she asked, “do you want to develop it?”, and he said no. And Mother said, “that's a wise decision”.

The reason of course is obvious, because if you were to develop it, it's one of the easiest ways to sidetrack from your primary focus. And then not only you get into that interest of wanting to heal, but also if you're effective, then more and more people come to you and draw on your energy and you are not necessarily built for that. So those who are capable of powerful healing often have a biology which is also built with strong vitality to be able to take all that comes with it and then to be able to manage the backwash of energies from other people and so on. So for him at least, he said she was clear it was a wise decision. But this is to say there is a natural centre, as also with the feet, because there are also projections. But so the significance is simply this, they are natural centres. Why are you becoming aware of them? Because they are perhaps more active in you and as with this example, perhaps you have that natural ability to also heal and direct this energy, whether you choose to develop it or not.

I would suggest if your priority is the inner awakening and the development of the inner and higher possibilities, then it is better not to focus too much on these, I would say powers of consciousness, as they turn outward. At each of the inner or higher levels of our journey, we discover capacities or qualities or powers. Some of these we have to manifest, of course, all the way down into the most physical, but utilisation of those powers in our external life may or may not be relevant for each person. Often they would be distractions. At least for those of us who feel called to reach to the deepest or highest possibilities, a sustained inward progress and then allowing the natural working of the divine force in you to develop the outermost forms of powers would be the better way.

Where are these happening?

Primarily in the subtle body but the subtle body is a general term, it spans the subtle physical, subtle vital, subtle mental or what Sri Aurobindo calls the inner physical, inner vital, inner mental. All these are as if held in a continuum in what we would call the subtle body and that's where all this happens. But since that is fused in your physical body, you feel it in the physical body much more. But there's an experience, it's not common but it happens sometimes in meditation. You may be sitting like this, let's say with your palms crossed and then during the meditation you may notice or feel as if your arms are separate or the reverse you sat with your arms separate outward and then during deep meditation you may feel as if your palms are crossed you come out of the meditation you notice their palms are out because the subtle arms could be in a different position and one can actually redirect energy with the subtle arms directly. And so it's not bound to the physical. It's only because the two are identified that the experience is felt in the physical body. Sometimes it may have a reflection in the physical, a slight warming, but not always. You can have a very intense gushing energy flowing through, but no change in the gross physical body itself, at least no substantial change.

So similarly for the movements in the spinal cord, goosebumps, by itself I would not give it much importance, rather continue the focus on the experience itself of which these may be secondary effects. As a rule in the Integral Yoga, it's always better to build a foundation in which there is a solid, unshaken base of peace. So if you feel too much goosebumps or some tendency to shake or of agitation, they are all bad signs. Bring peace into those parts until there's a complete stilling and that allows you to deepen. Otherwise these agitations, as you deepen further, the agitations, excitations increase and they disrupt the inner movement, prevent you from further development. They represent always an incapacity to hold. So notice, observe, make a choice of what is for you more important.

I think we go to the next question.

Alina (0:22:14):
Mahadevan is writing, “the Evenings with Sraddhalu Part 121 is so wonderful and it opened up the future in the most timely manner for me personally. My question is in regard to the factors of time and effort in building bridges and cutting channels. There is a strong impression in me that this movement in the psychological parts happens fast, even sometimes to the extent of immediate result, whereas things in the lower parts are to be done again and again with no immediate or even near results. There seems to be a complex of things that ought to be rejected, and these configurations cause significant slowness, a poor state of exterior being and compounding of difficulties.

Sraddhalu (0:23:21):
So his question is regarding our discussion last time of building bridges and cutting channels. And he has the impression that in the psychological part, that is in your mind awareness and in the more refined emotions these things happen very fast, but sometimes even with immediate results; and in the lower parts, that is typically the physical body and the lower grade of energies and emotions, it feels as if it has to be done again and again and no immediate or even near results. And he feels that there are knots or complexes of things which need to be rejected to overcome the slowness.

Yes that is true, but it is true only as long as our primary reliance is on our own effort. So we discussed last time various things. You could do for example to shift from one state to another as a way of forming a bridge. But there's another way which is as you open to receive and you experience the descent, whether it is a peace or simply force or something indescribable and you let it fill and intensify and densify, that's the Force or the Divine Mother's Force which works and it builds all this rapidly. Your effort is not in actively building bridges or at best it may be from that state to your more outer state you you may go back and forth. But the work that is done by the Shakti filling you, especially in its more intense action, is literally equivalent of several years in a very short time.

So recall the proportion last time that Sri Aurobindo referred to, “the work of centuries in one year”. So I say one century equals one year. It's a hundred to one intensification of or speeding up of the pace as an indication only. So what would perhaps take you a hundred days of work could be done in a single day or one year of work in three days, something of that proportion. But because it's not you, it's being done by this far more powerful, intenser quality of the energy working. And your role then, in the part where you feel this difficulty, let's say not the most material, as much as you feel in this part where, okay, now here it feels sticky, or you have emotions, your problems of emotional tendencies, feel that part, become aware of it and simply as if turn in that part, open upward in a quiet aspiration and invoke her Force, invoke her Presence, let it fill, let it fuse. Even if you don't feel it directly, stay like this. Like when you open to the sun, when you are doing sunbathing, you don't actively invoke the sun but you remain open to the sun by removing the coverings which would come in the way, something similar.

And you are aware of her, you are aware of the Sun and just stay like that, sunbathing in her Presence or in her influence. So when you do things like this, the method itself being reliance on something much greater than you, you have this extremely rapid change and yet in those lower parts you may still have to do again and again, but you should not worry too much because what you are doing again and again over a few days or weeks or even you say a year is in fact a hundred-fold compression at least of the change. As far as this comment about feeling that some things need to be rejected which are causing this compounding difficulties. My suggestion would be do not focus too much on the rejection.

You see, Sri Aurobindo speaks of three kinds of effort: first is the aspiration, the second the rejection and the third the surrender. The first two are linked in the sense that when you have a strong aspiration for something, you reject the tendencies which are contrary to the aspiration. So rejection is subsequent or consequent to your aspiration; you can't be aspiring for refining your consciousness as well as allowing a coarse movement to flood you. So what happens is you are making this effort with an aspiration and then let's say a coarse movement comes, a certain kind of anger or coarseness. You can choose at that time to say, oh, okay, it's there or you allow it to overwhelm, you indulge or at the moment you notice it, you say, ah, yes, but this is not compatible with my aspiration and you reject the movement.

If you read Sri Aurobindo's little booklet, The Mother, for the things to be rejected, he will give you a list of a dozen different things, all pettiness, narrowness, he describes all kinds of emotions, qualities of emotions of jealousy, anger etc etc. If you decide I'm going to reject all this and start trying to reject things, it's unending. So the method is not primarily rejection; it is of aspiration and you reject a movement which can come up at the moment that it comes up because it is incompatible with the aspiration. And the greater reliance is on the surrender, which is the opening to give yourself, or even to give the part where, or the tendency itself where, you have this difficulty.

(0:29:02):

So, it's a common error to focus too much on this aspect of rejection, which makes you focus on whatever you may consider to be your difficulties and problems and tendencies, to a point that they get so exaggerated that you feel overwhelmed. How can I ever do this? One of my most, I would say, important experiences in the spiritual life was a period, and I have mentioned maybe long ago, where I went through a process of introspection to realise, I said I've been deceiving myself on certain matters and I said this is not acceptable. And I went through, let's say four layers; there's one layer of deception where you're conscious that you're deceiving yourself and you play along. But there's a second layer of deception where you're not even conscious that you're deceiving yourself and I said this is not acceptable either. It was a bit painful but I got to that point.

And I said there's so much already there but there's a third layer where you realise almost anything that you would criticise in someone else is present within you in seed form. In fact, every possible thing that you could criticise is present within you in seed form and you just are aware of all these seeds. The difference between you and someone else is some seeds have sprouted in you, some seeds in others. And so you criticise that which is not sprouted in you by looking at that fellow and saying, oh what a horrible fellow and he criticises you because those seeds have not sprouted in him, he sees the seeds that have sprouted in you. But in that experience it was so obvious; it was just a question of which have sprouted, which have not, all of us have those seeds.

So already that was quite a overwhelming experience and then I said but where is this from and still deeper eventually there was this in the fourth layer, it was a radical experience as if suddenly opening a septic tank and a humongous horrible stench and this was substance of human nature literally and hitting that, I said oh my god this is the material that is being worked upon or that has to be worked upon and divinised. I said this is impossible. It is so overwhelming if you sank into it you would just lose yourself. It is overwhelming, it's impossible to do. I said I can't do this and that's when I realised, ‘yes that's why, thats why we have to rely on something greater’. And you come it was literally the recognition that the Yoga itself is impossible for me to do, if this is the material that has to be transformed. Till there you could say, yes I can do slow, difficult, but here it's impossible.

So that is one of the very important experiences after which the whole sense of the yoga changed and reliance on something higher and greater. Yes, you do your thing, but the reliance is on this higher and greater force and the capacity then to face oneself truly without needing to hide. It was painful but having got to that eventually of course the ego complex rebuilds and tries to hide but once you know the game it can't last. Every now and then you catch yourself and you say, ‘oh okay’, but this was layers where you have this overwhelming sense. It's useful, it's useful to know, to have that experience. Not everyone needs to go through it, but my point in saying all this is, if you could really see all that, you would realise that really you can't. So do not focus on those things.

Focus rather on your relationship with the Divine, on the aspiration which fills you and the turning of all of that you are aware of within you in alignment in the aspiration and towards the Divine and bit by bit all the layers that come into your awareness. When movements pop up which are contrary to your aspiration and contrary to your relation with the Divine Mother, when they pop up, you say ‘ah this not interesting’. You don't have to fight, you don't have to struggle, simply say not interesting, turn your attention. If it is persistent, you say okay enough of this, quiet it. So strong movement of anger comes and say, hey where did this come from, that's not me, shouldn't belong to me. So you restrain obviously, you hold back, you don't allow it indulgence and after a point perhaps it subsides. But it does not get indulgence, it does not get support. And the moment the part has been exposed, yes that part, once the anger has subsided, you turn that and say here is this. It has exposed itself and I open it, allow the light, allow the presence to fill. Bring it into the ambit of your relationship with the divine.

(0:34:00):

Again to go back to the first question of Vaibhav, okay I don't feel the Peace or the Light or the Presence, but I have my relationship with the Divine, I include this in my relationship. I don't sit like a self-appointed little angel where I push away my pretences or limitations; I bring them in and say, “here, this too is yours; the whole of all that I am is yours”. You bring it into the ambit of the relationship. That's good enough. The process starts.

The building of bridges and cutting of channels – yes, you do your part where you need to, but allow rather the Force working in you, through you, within your effort itself to fill and amplify and lift and so on. And so the movement should always be from joy to greater joy, experience to deeper experience. Never get stuck with anything which involves negatives or conflict with negatives. I think this is as far as comment for Mahadevan would go.

We go to Vaibhav's question.

Alina (0:35:14):
Where does our memory store and where did it go after an accident in which for example memory was lost? It is always the identity or relationship that one forgets but not the linguistic memory. Why not?

Sraddhalu (0:35:33):
So the question is relating to a discussion we had earlier. It is now many weeks perhaps, where there was some discussion about how a memory is lost during an accident perhaps. Where somebody comes, you have seen movies of this kind, somebody has an accident and then suddenly they don't remember their life from before. They don't recognize their own relatives and so on. So his question is where does our memory remain stored and where did it go after this accident. And his observation that what is lost generally is the identity– ‘who am I, I don't know my name ‘or the relationships–’I don't know who you are’ but not the linguistic memory; the person is still able to converse and sometimes even in other languages. So what really happened in such a case?

Very often, most often, it is the link between two different parts of consciousness which has been separated. And why did the accident cause this? Because the accident harmed some part of the physical body, generally something in the brain or something very close to the link between the physical layer and the subtle physical. And so the layer where those memories are held and the layer which is your active surface consciousness has a bridge which is broken. That memory is still there inside, but it is not accessed anymore. It is what happens very often when somebody asks you, do you remember such and such time that we met and I saw you and we said this? I said, no I don't remember and the person repeats it and then give some particular nuance of incident where immediately your association pops up and you say ‘ah yes’ and then from that point the entire chain of the memory returns: ‘Ah yes’, this is what it was, now I remember.

So what happened was, your active consciousness and the memory inside, as we don't dwell on things of the memory, they tend to, so to say, subside more and more into a subconscious or an inner range, with more active memories being close to the surface. And you can't get a link directly, but some part elsewhere indirectly has a link. And so that indirect connection pops up and through it the whole memory comes forward. This is to say in fact nothing is ever forgotten. All is retained in the true memory which is in the subliminal. What is lost is the link between that true memory which is always complete to the surface part which is unable to access.

Sri Aurobindo makes a comment about this in the writings on education, about training memory. He says that automatic part of the memory is perfect, you have to do nothing; it remembers everything without exception. What you need to train is the conscious part of the memory, the part which seeks to access and reach. So what has happened is this capacity or some bridge of that capacity has been broken. In practice what is done then, you build bridges indirectly. So some people often find they are unable to speak. They know what they want to say, they are unable to speak and then or they start stuttering, hesitating when they try to speak because there is a as if a break in the continuity. So something starts as if an impulse and then there is a break. You start speaking and then you find it's broken, and then again you start speaking and again it's broken, which makes for the hesitation or stuttering.

But if the same person has asked to sing it, it's a different bridge, and they are able to sing out complete sentences. Similarly, if you say, I have forgotten who you are, if you could tap a different line of connection, let's say a contact, a feeling or an emotion associated, that could be an indirect link by which the memory could be brought back and so on. The point I am making is, the memory is never gone, it is the bridge which is lost and also at a level which is very material. A common experience for us is that when we don't sleep enough, we tend to be forgetful. Short-term memory losses, where you intended to do something, you go to a different room, you look back, why did I come here?

The same thing happens with ageing, because with ageing there is a gradual decline in total number of brain cells. Brain cells die but they are not replaced at the same pace at which they die. So there is a kind of a total drop in the total count. With it this kind of forgetfulness, which happens with lack of sleep. It also happens from poor nutrition. When your vitamin B12 levels drop sufficiently or sometimes D3 levels drop sufficiently, you will find your memory also tends to become more spotty or your attention span becomes shorter, you find yourself easily distracted or irritated or some variations of this. Similarly, at least in men, if you increase the level of testosterone, the memory also becomes better. Interestingly, if testosterone levels drop too much, you have also tendency to drop memory. With women there is an equivalent relationship, I don't know with which of the hormones, perhaps oestrogen or progesterone, I am not sure which. But the point is all these hormonal shifts, shifts in vitamins, the number of brain cells regeneration, all these are biological basis which may create a break in the continuity.

We have to appreciate Sri Aurobindo's observation that he says the mind is one of the most sophisticated complex instruments developed by nature. And he is speaking of the mind, but that mind is plugged into the biology, primarily in the brain but through the nervous system. And so there is substance of various gradations and complex operations which plug into that complex mind machine we will say, the mental machine and link it all the way down to the biological machine that is the brain. And any of these breaking or weakening could create things like this not just memory losses but other kinds of motivational losses, emotional losses, inability to integrate certain emotions or experiences or swings in emotional states which come from hormonal shifts and so on. But all of this has to do with the biological basis.

(0:42:37):

So his question about why is it that linguistic memory, why is it the linguistic does not go but identity of a superficial kind in relationships go?

Because those are the things which are on a more superficial layer. The linguistic sense and the quality of the ability to articulate is much more deeply rooted even in the biology in the brain it is closer to the centre. The brain is also organised inside out and you actually don't lose sense of true identity. The true identity I am conscious, that is never lost. My name I have lost in the same way as I've forgotten your name. So the superficial layers are what are lost typically. What can you do in such cases? Rebuild those links, rebuild those connections. If they are from a physical damage as happens when there is a blood clot in the brain or some brain aneurysm of some kind, in that case the brain rebuilds either in the same part or it rechannels the links through some other parts around. The brain is extremely flexible because it's not the mind.

The mind shapes the links in the brain and it reorganises those links. The trick is not to try to keep going through the same passage but find an indirect passage. Equally when the body part is not functioning, you can rebuild the link to that body part. Because this is working, it's just the link in the nervous system which is gone or damaged and you can rebuild, regrow the nerves by an effort or bypass that and create a channel on the side. Generally this happens automatically which is why the memories tend to return eventually and so on. But your effort can assist and speed up. I think with this we would complete some of the questions relating to the meditation and things to do with the inner and outer, the link between the inner and outer. We can take up the questions relating to sleep and dreams.

Alina (0:44:46):
Sowmya was writing, “I feel drowsy when I read Sri Aurobindo's books. How can I handle this?” Sometimes myself, I am in this situation.I feel like getting sleepy.

Sraddhalu (0:44:56):
Yes, yes. So Sowmya's difficulty is the difficulty for many people, most of us in fact. Sri Aurobindo himself recommends some of his books if you want to sleep. And somebody complains about this, he says yes, and he says try to read the Life Divine, that's more useful to fall asleep. What it does is, immediately as you read these texts, immediately there is an interiorization. Your consciousness shifts inward. That's a quality of consciousness that comes in the text itself, in the contact with the text. I'm going to go a few steps further. Sometimes when you pick up the book there's a shift you can feel. Not always, not in all books, not always in all states, but when it happens you feel it. You open it, you start reading and immediately there's a shift.

There's a second thing which happens with books like the Life Divine, sometimes with Savitri; it is not touching you at a level of informational layer of mind, which technically we will say physical mind, the part of the mind which is turned to the physical senses and the physical world. So, you could read a novel, you could read a book of facts, you could read the news: they all excite on the level of the mind turned to the senses. The moment you start reading the Life Divine, it turns it to higher level, where you will remember the three levels of the intelligence Sri Aurobindo speaks of, it turns to the higher level of the intellect proper. And in the intellect proper, it is cut off from form and the physical surface reality of things. It goes into the domain sometimes even of pure ideas with a book like the Life Divine and at that point if you're not used to being in that state, your mind feels strained and it dulls, it feels sleepy, it does not have enough energy to sustain. Often it's a combination of both. There is an interiorization and there is a subtle-isation of the level of functioning in the mind.

The result is, since we are not used to it or we are tired, we tend to drift into sleep. So one of the biggest difficulties of people wanting to meditate when they are tired is you fall asleep. Because you were tired and you went in and the body says, ‘ah this is what I am supposed to do now, I am supposed to sleep’, and poof it goes to sleep. Sometimes even you may go into meditation but the body has gone to sleep. You come out and it was one of the most refreshing qualities of sleep you've had in a very short time, because that was the influence of the meditative state.

But that is why do not or recommended thing would be to not take up these, either reading of these books or the meditation at a time when you are tired, when your body has not had enough sleep, if you're sleep deprived. Very likely if you always feel sleepy, you are sleep deprived. Consider how many hours you sleep. Sri Aurobindo's recommendation at least seven and half hours for an adult. There are a few people who are exceptional but do not assume you are exceptional. You need seven and a half minimum. More often I find people need eight hours, sometimes eight and a half. If you have had enough sleep, then you will find this won't happen. Or take a time when you are more fresh to read or to meditate and so on.

But otherwise, if you need to sleep, use those books as a way of entering into a more refined, maybe even a higher grade of consciousness in the sleep itself. So you read a few lines of Savitri just before sleeping and you let yourself drift into sleep. You read Life Divine, you find yourself getting drowsy but hold the turn of consciousness that it has brought and drift into sleep and the quality of sleep will be different. I think that should cover Sowmya's question.

Alina (0:49:14):
Aditya is writing, before sleep it is uncomfortable to review things done during the day.

Sraddhalu (0:49:22):
Yes, so this was in the chat box ,Aditya had noted when I was speaking about reviewing the day before going to sleep. And Aditya's comment was it is often uncomfortable to review things of the day. Perhaps yes, because the events of the day were difficult, perhaps even traumatic or emotionally complex and reviewing it tends to bring up some of the disturbance associated with those events. But that is precisely the correction one has to make in the review. The review has to be done in a very detached way.

Remember the intention of the review to go back to what we had discussed about the review itself. The intention was you go through all the events of the day in a very detached way. This happened, that happened, I did this, I did that, I reacted in this way to a given situation or I made the mistake of doing this and so on. And at that point, you may pause and say, ‘how do I want to respond differently next time?’ Somebody came and said something unpleasant, I got upset; what would I do next time? And you formulate: next time he says something unpleasant, perhaps I'll just give him a smile and keep quiet or I will say thank you for your observation and move on. So I formulate, I visualise, I intend this, imprint this intention and then move on to the next item. And the result is because you do this before sleeping, all these intentions act like post-hypnotic suggestions going deep into your subconscious and they pop up and change your reactions very quickly. It's a very powerful exercise.

But if the review is uncomfortable, it's because you're identifying with what happened. So the requirement for the review exercise is you treat it as if it's somebody else's life. So you have no personal interest in it, you observe, ah this happened, oh yes, this fellow, that is you, got upset, mm-hmm, okay, you go through. And at the end of it, all that was done, all that was not done, all that was confused, you take the whole day and offer it to the Divine Mother and say, “here this is yours, do what is required on these circumstances and on me, it's no more mine”. Having given it up, you feel a tremendous weight released, a tremendous freedom, a kind of a childlike freedom and simplicity, you go to sleep with that.

One would ideally want to live in that but for most of us that's not always easy because life can be quite complex and demanding, but when you do this exercise of giving up and if you give completely, you find yourself with the same state of blank slate of a child and then you can go to sleep free of everything. Literally you have created as if a little cocoon of isolation from the world and you go to sleep in that. So, the value of the exercise is important and if you feel uncomfortable then you are doing it not quite the best way. Try to change it, try to do it in a detached way. If still you find it difficult to manage, the easiest thing I would suggest is do not go into specifics of the day. Just turn to the whole day in a kind of a gist: ‘all this that I did’ in your awareness you hold, gather and offer to the Mother and let go the burden of it. Withdraw into your aspiration and go to sleep. Then you won't have that discomfort. But the value of the actual taking up and giving, the value of it would be there with you as a support.

I think we go to the next question.

Alina (0:53:17):
Anand is writing, how to meet the Mother in the subtle state? How to achieve that level of consciousness?

Sraddhalu (0:53:31):
How to meet the Mother in your subtle body ?And then his question, how to achieve that level of consciousness?

I don't think it requires a high level of consciousness. It requires awareness in the current level at a deeper state. That's all. You do not need to have necessarily evolved to a higher level. You have access where you are, as you are, because the Divine Mother is very much present. And recall her primary station of action in the world is in the subtle physical. And so there are many sages, saints, who have taken a station at some point, let's say in the higher vital or the higher mental or sometimes still higher. And if you want to have a direct interaction with them, you would have to at least rise to that station or they may choose to descend to a lower grade for a purpose of contact and then withdraw. That also happens.

But in this case, it is not difficult. What is perhaps difficult is for you to be able to enter into that interiorization to a degree that you withdraw from the outer layers, and can enter and can make contact or more commonly, on the return you remember what you had in the contact.

So I'll show you the simplest method for this and that is to do it during dream. Because every night as we go to sleep, a part of our consciousness disengages, withdraws into the inner vital, inner mental and obviously the subtle physical is easily accessible for that and there we can have that contact with her. In fact, you can meet her on many of the higher levels also, which would be a far superior, more reliable kind of meeting. But in any case, whatever the intention, don't worry about levels. Focus rather on the aspiration to meet and more important, on the intention to recall. So I'll describe the two things separately. First, where is your intention, where is your mind as you are drifting into sleep state? Very often if you have just watched a movie, you have just had a conversation, you are thinking and worrying about something for tomorrow or something of today, you are in that and you slip into sleep in that grade of quality of consciousness.

So the state in which you are is the grade of consciousness that you enter in the subtle worlds. So if you're in a very close to the gross emotional ranges you will enter into the worlds in the subtle planes of those gross lower vital ranges. Your fear, your insecurities, you will have dreams which are of those types because you are in the world of those things, those experiences, and you have the nightmares. In some higher plane of vital, you might have beautiful experiences. In the mental, similarly, the quality would be different between mental and vital. But the state in which you are is the state or the quality of consciousness of world in which you will tend to enter.

Hence, consciously choose, consciously shift. Mother even makes this very interesting suggestion. It's an advice more than a suggestion. She says never go to sleep when you are tired. Bring yourself to a certain level of freshness and then go to sleep. Because generally when you say you are extremely tired, what is it you are at? You are sunk emotionally, mentally, vitally in a grade very close to the material and it is a dullness of inertia. Even if you are a mental person much more than an emotional, it is a dullness of the mental grade close to the physical where the mind is completely shut off. And that is the ranges you will enter. Subconscious, semi-conscious, you will come out from sleep in the same level, you will come out tired, because there was not the clarity of consciousness of light to regenerate, to give you the freshness. If instead you lift yourself into a fresher state momentarily and then drift into sleep in that clearer, brighter, wider, freer consciousness, you come out irrespective of what you have as dreams or experiences, you come out of that and you come out rejuvenated and fresh. So she says if you go to sleep tired you'll wake up tired, you go to sleep fresh you'll wake up fresh. Interesting.

So now you want to meet the Mother. Put yourself in the relationship with her. What is your relationship with her? Feel that relationship. You don't need to use words. Feel it, hold it, feel her, turn to her if possible as exclusively as possible, there is nothing else, just her and with the intention that you want to be with her, close to her or merge into her as you drift into sleep in the night and go to sleep. Inevitably you will have that experience of meeting the Mother. Problem now is very often you have the experience, you wake up and you don't remember it. Or at the moment as you wake up you have a vague impression, oh yes I was there somewhere and then by the time you open your eyes your attention has turned out, you just lost the memory that I was there somewhere and it fades out. And then sometimes during the day perhaps you pick up something and momentarily that vibration of consciousness is triggered and the memory comes back of the dream, oh yes I forgot I had this dream or have a vague sense that I had some dream like that and that's all.

I remember once it was very strange I was in a sacred space it's close to some in a place which is very clear, very pure vibration and so the quality of sleep was also very different. I woke up from sleep, I passed through a grade of memory and then I lost the thread of memory. The next night or the night after, I was waking up and in the passage of waking up, there was a point where as if there was a link. And I remembered the dream of the previous night or two days before night, in which I had a contact with the Mother in a particular way. I said, my God, I don't want to lose it this time. And I held that position and I held it consciously. And again, as I was waking up, it was a point of loss. And I held it. And eventually, I had the memory recalled with eyes open. Then I got up, took a shower and I forgot again. Because from there to the shower state was still a gap. I come back and then later I think when I sat to concentrate or meditate again the memory came back but it was close enough to the surface that I could catch it again and I had the recall which I could then hold because the link, the bridge, remember I built little bridges, the last bridge to the full waking state was there. Now I have recalled, even today I can recall that and with exact vivid sense of what it was. But more often than not, this is to say that we don't remember or the imprint of it remains which also the imprint is lost in the surface part.

(1:00:58):

So here comes the second part of the challenge. You have met the Mother and you can meet her often. It can take various forms. It may not always be in form. You see a face and a body and you are a face and body. It could simply be an immersion in her consciousness or an embrace, an immersion in the embrace. Sometimes it translates into your consciousness in a symbolic, representative way. The point of remembrance, and that's a cultivation one has to make, especially because the contact like that can often take place in a deep state. Occasionally it is had at the point as you are waking up, so it's easy to recall. But still, from the deep state to this, you build a bridge. From this point of where you wake up to the waking consciousness, you have to build a bridge. And that's an entire exercise that I would recommend for those of you who have the inclination and the time to take up. And Mother tells you in detail how to do this. You can reread what she has said. But simply put, keep next to you a pen and paper on your bed. If you are writing with your right hand, it will be just there on the right side, so that you can write without having to move too much. What I do sometimes is I keep my phone with the recorder, so instead of writing, I speak it, which is perhaps easier for some of us. Then you enter sleep with the intention that you will go into the some higher or deeper state, in this case to meet the Mother, but you will recall. This must be put as an imprint, an intention, an aspiration again and again.

Generally within a few days you will find there's a recall, not necessarily of meeting the Mother but of certain dreams which would be of a significant quality. So you'll have a recall and as you wake up there's a recall, hold that state. Let's say you woke up, instead of jumping out of bed which is the habit for many, you hold that in-between state, they call it the hypnagogic state. You're half in dream, half awake, you're aware of both worlds, hold that poise. A little bit one way and you'll sink back into sleep. A little the other way and you'll wake up fully. Hold that state. It's like holding a balance on an edge. Train yourself. And at that point Mother says recall the last dream in as much detail as you can. Often it's the tail end you get and as you remember that you remember the part before and the part before. Go as far as you can. Sometimes when you go too deep, you sink back into sleep. And then again you wake up. Again hold that poise and again catch the chain. You may find yourself doing that a few times. And then hold until you are able to turn out enough without losing the thread of memory.

And at that point, first Mother says, do not move the body. The moment you move your physical body, even moving your hand or changing the position, snap, the link is gone. Do not move your body. Complete the recollection. When the recollection is made, very slowly you move. Do not make sudden movements. Take your pen and paper and start writing. Don't worry about your handwriting. Get as much detail as you can going backward and link it, articulate it, bridge that, persist every day. The result is, in a week or two you will find you go far deeper. Sometimes you can recall two or three dreams and the quality of transition of dreams becomes interesting. At the same time, by the time as you enter sleep, you enter with the intention that you will remember, that you will be conscious of dream and a kind of the initial entry memory also begins to develop. So from the entry point there is a memory developing, from the exit point there is a memory developing and at some point the two tend to join. And there comes a time when you can actually feel a sense of continuity through the night and you may be able to recall fully all the dreams.

It takes a while, it may take a few weeks. Some people get it quickly, some people take longer. That's not important. But this capacity to link, it will be very useful in your spiritual life because it is the same link which will assist you in the interiorization, bridging of the inner states and higher states. It is an entry point into your subliminal domains, although very narrow, thin entry point, but it allows you to then link and bridge even higher spiritual experiences and link them all the way to the surface parts.

So it's a training, not difficult, takes a little time, but if you simply hold the intention of meeting the Mother and remembering, the whole effort can be much smaller. You may occasionally have the memories, but not every day necessarily. If you develop this, you can have more frequent, more detailed, more rich memories not only of meeting the Mother but many other things which happen on inner and higher states, which can be quite interesting and suggestive.

I think we can go to the next question.

Alina (1:06:15):
Nina is writing a question: “Most of the dreams are forgotten in a few seconds after waking up but some dreams are never forgotten. On what plane of consciousness such dreams take place? Similarly, some moments of life are also never forgotten, like peace experienced during meditation near the Samadhi, or a sudden feeling of peace somewhere else, during the the experience of love without subject of love or joy and the imprint of surroundings at those moments are also registered like a photograph or something like a faded picture. On what level of consciousness are those memories registered and how to re-live the positive memories at will.”

Sraddhalu (1:07:07):
This description is very interesting, the imprint of those moments of the deeper states or experiences. Nina uses the phrase like a photograph or sometimes like a faded picture. It's as if the richness of it, the vividness of it, fades out as you come to the more surface parts because that quality of consciousness is so different from the surface that what remains is like a pale shadow. And it could be even states of experiences as she says of love, of joy, of peace of things which are indescribable sometimes, but as you come out there's a dulling. And this is part of the work we have to do of the building of bridges, that those influences should be able to be brought all the way and infuse in your most surface parts eventually. Or to whatever extent they are able to take today, one should be able to do.

But I start with the first part of her question. The dreams which are forgotten in a few seconds. Now we understand why, because of the lack of discontinuity. We have discussed how to make that bridge. And some dreams are never forgotten, she says. On what plane of consciousness do they take place? They don't necessarily need to take place on a higher or lower plane. They are not forgotten because they were had in a more surface part of your consciousness. So as you wake up, you could still be in a higher grade of consciousness just before waking up, but from there you have come very close to the subtle physical and then woken up and you will recall those higher consciousness dreams also. You could be on a lower grade of a vital, even a lower vital, and from there you come out to the subtle physical before waking up, you will remember those.

So the vividness of the dream need not necessarily mean that they were of a higher grade or lower grade. It could simply be that from that state you came rapidly to the surface part of the vital, of the subtle physical, just at the point of waking. So that's one point. But the true quality, especially of the deeper dreams of the kind which she has described, in her original question she mentions certain experiences of having seen Sri Aurobindo and certain something Sri Aurobindo said which registered or she registered that what it meant that Sri Aurobindo was taking charge of her life, and in that state she was conscious of the contact of the floor because she felt herself in the room and there was contact and then from there the waking up vivid. And that was typically of the subtle physical. So in the subtle physical you have literally like a physical contact and then you wake up.

But even if it was not, if it was in let's say in the mental plane, the quality of the dream would be different but the vividness might still remain. That said, the fact that it was close to the surface in the consciousness and the link therefore was stronger is often the reason why one remembers much more. Naturally things in the subtle physical would be more close and so those are more easy to remember, especially because in the subtle physical you are still in the world of forms and so the recall of forms is more vivid, which she recalls lying on the floor on the right with left palm on the floor, the contact of the floor, all that she recalls because that was subtle physical.

(1:11:02);

The same thing happening in, let's say, in the mental plane, there would not be this sensation but it would be the quality of the idea or the perception or the insight or the knowledge which is received and that is for us in the waking consciousness abstract because it is not form. The knowledge may be vivid when you wake up but the formal aspects of it would not be so present. You would not have contact with the floor because there is no need for a floor. Even if it is in the idea space, there is the idea of floor, the contact with idea of floor or experience of idea of floor, is totally different from the subtle physical. So this is just to explain that you can have a very vivid thing, but the quality of the vividness will tell you which level it is. And again you could have detailed recall, but not in form, but in quality of knowledge or quality of consciousness.

(1:11:56):
And the same can happen with nightmares also. Nightmare really represents more our response or our fear to something, not necessarily the quality of consciousness in which the dream took place. You could go into the lower ranges, you could still have no fear, but the quality would be dull and that's a different experience. Some moments in life similarly, are also never forgotten, because relate to a part of you that is more permanent. Generally speaking, your inner and higher parts, things closer to the psychic presence of the deeper inner ranges of the true person that you are. And so those experiences are also never forgotten.

And they could be negative also. Sometimes there's a strong, powerful negative experience which affects deeply the true person and even those would not be forgotten but they remembered in a different way. They're not remembered like a post-traumatic stress disorder. They're remembered with a calm because that is the nature of the inner thing. It looks in calm at that and says, ‘oh okay’ and that's it. It could evoke emotions but the thing inside as a memory would still be of a certain calm.

I'm just looking at if there are any questions in the chat box. So similarly I think Sudhir says that he had twice dream of the Mother and longs to meet her again even if it is in dreams.

Well, now you have the means and as I said it's not difficult. But keep in mind one thing: it's not so important if you meet as form meeting form. You know the limitation of form meeting form. Of course forms could be deceptive also; anybody could pretend to take a form. But form meeting form there's still a gap between you and her. There's still a thing to be communicated to be received and the gap could be not satisfying enough.

What is more useful is immersion in her consciousness. Then there is no gap. You are in her, she is in you and that is as an experience far more complete, which is what you should aim for also in the meditative states. And if you slide into sleep with that intention, you may actually find a part of you, again there are different parts in us, mental, vital and others which drift off and have other dreams, but the part in you that aspires would stay in that immersion and would come out of the sleep with the continuity of that immersion. And if this becomes the norm during the day, the part will continue in the immersion even during the day. From a spiritual point of view, this kind of a meeting of immersion in the Mother's consciousness is invaluable. I would even go so far as to say there is nothing more precious because now that continuity of immersion in a part of you can stay with you not only at night but even into the day.

So yes, these are not ordinary dreams. We will call them dream experiences because of the vividness of what happened there.

Okay, I think that covers. We'll go to the next question.

Alina (1:15:38):

We take Trinetra’s question: “Mother answers a question on how to connect with fairies, Nature beings. She says being conscious of one's own dreams helps in the process as well as silence and concentration. Is this a form of lucid dreaming that is popular these days. Is it possible to be always lucid and conscious of one's dreams every night? How can we achieve this?”

Sraddhalu (1:16:13):
So the question about how to connect with fairies or Nature beings and I don't know, I don't recall this text but Trinetra says that he's read, Mother says to be conscious of one's dreams helps as well as silence and concentration. I'll explain the three things though.

First of all most of these Nature spirits, especially the fairies, even the gnomes, plant consciousness itself is extremely, extremely refined and still. There's a kind of a purity in the vital itself which of a quality of stillness which is against which the human being is gggghhh - intense, violent, agitated, chaotic, noisy. If you stay in a forest, those of you who have had that experience, you can feel as if the stillness in the forest soaking into you and after a while you are as if drawn to that stillness. Unless you've made the mistake of bringing your television and drama into the forest; then you are the noise. But if you have allowed yourself to be in that state with nothing else, you are pulled by the forest, into its kind of a depth of stillness, silence. What happens now is as you move around the forest, the nature spirits, let's say, or the fairies, they hear your loud thoughts and emotions at a distance. Have you ever seen some of these advertisement cars or in India you have these wedding crowds with all their trumpets and drums and things. At a distance you can hear them. As they come closer it grows louder and louder and then slowly it fades out and it could be several hundred metres away.

For the fairies and Nature spirits you are like that. Your thoughts and emotions are like that. As you approach at a distance of a hundred metres, it's like a loud noisy thing radiating its noise and they turn away and run away. So disturbing. They wait for you to go away and then they come back. Or if you start living there, they say, oh no another one of these noisy types, they go away. They don't like to be near us because of this. But if you train yourself, so that's where the silence comes, you become very still in your emotions, in your thoughts. The noise is reduced, but still you're too violent, you're too intense. When you get upset, the quality of agitation is so intense, they shudder. And so it's like for you what is thunder, when there's a very loud thunder, BANG and the whole house shakes as if. It's that intensity for their stillness and sensitivity. So you have to make yourself very very very still and calm. Even in your emotions. Your emotions get very refined. You have to become of their grade then they can meet you without fear.

So a simple test: if you were to feed the birds or the squirrels, how close would they come to you without experiencing fear? Of course you build a relationship over time, you build a trust and initially they stay several metres away, then bit by bit they come. If you move suddenly they run away. So no sudden movements, no sudden thoughts, no sudden emotions. You notice when you have a sudden emotion they run away. Your body doesn't move but they sense it. So you become very still, very quiet and then gradually they build trust. Oh okay this might be one of those different humans maybe and then they come close and eventually they can take from your hands. Now you notice, watch videos of people who do that. They are so still. They don't move, they don't shake in thought and emotions, not just body. And that's when those beings, those animals, birds can come close. Well now the fairies are ready to come. You must have at least that level of silence, stillness. I will also use the word purity. Especially the quality of the psychic presence now filling you will bring all these naturally.

The second word referred to by Trinetra is concentration.

Well, to be able to perceive them you need to be more concentrated. You cannot be superficially turned because it's not with the outer sight but with the inner sight that you perceive. Not only I don't mean only seeing in form but even sensing the communication or their presence. So you have to become as if inwardly more aware and that requires a degree of concentration in the stillness and then you feel a tiny shift in vibration. Ah there's something there, someone there and the quality tells you what kind of thing it is. Ah this is a little female one, that's a male one. There's a quality of consciousness but you have to become very still to feel that.

So one of the things which you could use as practice is becoming so still that you can feel the stillness of the tree consciousness. Or so pure and psychically refined that you can feel the quality of the psychic presence in the flower consciousness. So these are good starting points for training.

And then the comment about being conscious in one's dream is simply because it is in that slightly interiorized state, what we were discussing so far in the continuity of consciousness while waking up. It's in one of those slightly intermediate states that one perceives, relates to and can even interact with these Nature beings or fairies and gnomes etc. So I'm just putting in context these observations.

I don't recall the exact text, but assuming these are the three important terms, we will discuss generally the sense of what is required. It's not lucid dreaming. It's about becoming conscious on a slightly inner level where also there is a clarity, stillness, purity, complete stillness of thought, emotions and even in the physical consciousness and then a concentration in which you can turn and perceive without that agitation or violence.

I think that should answer the question. We can move to the closing question then.

Alina (1:23:10):
Trineta is writing, “as part of Yoga we are required to pull through old age and drag and live for as long as we can….”

Sraddhalu (1:23:20):
I think we'll go to Karthik's question. That will be more useful.

Alina (1:23:22)
Karthik's question?

[Sraddhalu] Yes, yeah.

“When we are devoted to the Mother and are consciously trying to get ourselves purified and become more conscious by seeking her Force and Love, can we take it that behind all calamities, prolonging financial issues and ill luck, prolonging health complaints etc. that we face and experience, there is Mother's Grace?”

Sraddhalu (1:23:54):
So I think this will be a good question for us to close with. Karthik's question is, we are devotees, let's say, all of us have a devotion to the Divine Mother. We are consciously in some kind of practice or path of greater purification, opening to the Divine Consciousness, to the Mother, seeking Her force, Her love. So his question is, can we take it that behind all calamities and the current financial issues or ill luck or health issues which we may face, that there is the Mother's Grace behind it all?

Yes, obviously. The very simple answer is yes, obviously. But it needs elaboration on certain points. So the Mother speaks of the working of the Divine Grace in two different ways. There's one working which is at the base of everything, supporting everything down to the tiniest detail. Literally every subatomic particle is supported by the divine consciousness and if it were to withdraw, the particle would cease to be. Behind every atom, behind every molecule, behind every cell, behind every being, every creature, every object, there is this sustaining divine Grace. So it's the action, she says, of the Grace from below, which holds up the whole universe and if it were to even let go for a moment, everything would simply sink back into chaos. That we may say is a kind of a general support of the Grace, but it is equally present supporting everything.

But what we mean by the Divine Grace is not this, what we mean by that is an action from above, a special action which comes not all the time, but when called upon or when needed or when it chooses and that's why it's called Grace. It's not an automatic, it's not a piece of machinery.

So Sri Aurobindo makes a joke about it. He says that why should all prayers be answered? It's not like a slot machine where you put a coin and you get your response. Precisely because the divine consciousness is conscious and this consciousness of love it may choose to respond in this way or that or not or even respond without you needing or calling. That's the freedom of the Divine to act as it chooses. But obviously because the Divine is love, utter love, entire love, its relationship with you and with all things is also one of love and the love of the Divine Mother. And especially when you call, the response of the love is unavoidable because well that's the Mother. So even when you don't call, she is there, but her love may sustain you in a general way and occasionally intervene as necessary. When you do call, she always intervenes, but not necessarily the way you may ask or expect.

A simple example I would give is a child that's trying to stand up when it's muscles are still undeveloped. So it tries to stand up and falls and tries and falls and tries and falls. So it could say, hey lift me. Occasionally you will do that as a mother, just to give him the sense of what it's like to have the balance and then allow it to sit and then again get up on its own until it can get its own balance. Till then you have to allow the effort to rise and fall. And the falling is unavoidable because the muscles have to develop through the effort of rising. So series of failures are as if required for the capacity to have the sustained standing strength and coordination. But notice what the Mother does. As this child does something more, let's say dangerous, in trying to get up more, she puts her hand behind the head or the back, not touching, not holding, but just in case he falls, the fall is softened. And so when the child loses balance now from a standing position and falls, instead of falling flat, the fall is shielded, softened and the child is allowed to sit, not falling and hurting himself. And then again she lets go. She is there, vigilant, watching.

This is exactly what happens in our life, in our daily life at all times. When we choose to open ourselves in a conscious, active relationship with the Divine Mother, of course, she is there all the time, of course she is there. But the point Sri Aurobindo makes is her help becomes effective when you open, when you call. So the effectivity is amplified. She is there. You may not be conscious, you may not be calling at that moment, but that kind of a support is there. Because you have called before. You may also be calling at that moment, not consciously. Sometimes from the soul's call, you may not be conscious here and the Grace acts and you may say, ah good luck, it was a good chance, not realising that there was this inner call of the soul and the response of the Mother. But when you call consciously, you also realise, ah then it was an act of Grace. The act of calling and the form of calling is not important. You may use words, you may be wordless. You may ask for a specific help or you may simply say here, no special formulation, no special limitation, I place this before you. I place myself before you.

(1:29:55):

There is an incident Udar-da narrates. He had many stories, sometimes a little exaggerated, but this one is interesting because, he says, he was going by train for some work and halfway through the journey the train had a head-on collision with another train. The other train fell over on its side. The train on which he was jumped off the track, fell on the side of the track but didn't topple over. So a few people were injured but not great damage. So as would be the normal thing, instead of going on with his work, he didn't know what to do, he just came back. And he says he went to the Mother and before he could say a word, Mother said to him, “I did not know which bogie you were sitting in, so I had to save the whole train”.

It's interesting that when we had picnics where we would go to some of these places, sometimes not always safe, there were a few accidents occasionally, Mother would want the complete list of all the participants who were going and the captains who were leading them to be given to her the day before. And of course, it was done with the intention of putting a special force for protection. All the more reason you have to understand why. Now it does not happen everywhere, it does not happen for everyone, but especially in a space like this where there is a very strong spiritual work being done, there are equally forces which want to harm, which want to damage. They are as active, in fact more active here than elsewhere, because they know that if this succeeds then they have a severe loss. Elsewhere where there's a normal activity going on there's nothing to lose, it succeeds or fails, it changes nothing.

But here there's an evolutionary change and this is for them dangerous. So there's a special concentration of these forces and therefore a need for a special protection for that. And therefore she did what she had to do. This is just to give you the background. But that being the case and as in Uday's case, she said, I didn't know which bogie you were in, so I had to save the whole train. And that's the nature of the intervention as and when it takes place. It may not always be the way you expect, it may not always be the way you think you deserve, but there are, there's a greater wisdom that knows and sees what is required and helps in the best way possible and that much we should trust. But for that help to be effective, our openness and our receptivity, these two need to grow. To the extent that we are not open, the help, the effect of the help is reduced, even though the help is there. To the extent that we are not receptive, the outcome of the help is less or more complete or perfect.

There was even a case, Mother records this in the Agenda, she says somebody who had gone for a picnic, he drowned. And Mother was commenting to Satpreme in that conversation, she says, “he did not call me, he was calling that particular captain for help”. It was as if he had shut himself to the Mother's help and was reaching out to this person who was not sufficiently able to be a link for her help. So unfortunately that event took place.

This is to say that the capacity to receive, first of all the opening to her, the capacity to receive, both of these need to be made more complete. Sometimes what happens in an accident also, you get bumped in a few places, maybe minimally. But still often where you got bumped is an indicator of which part was less conscious. Some of us very frequently have little knocks that come in the legs. Why? Because that's the part of the body least conscious. Well, learn to make it conscious, make it more receptive and if possible, infuse even the sense of an aspiration in your legs. And we have discussed how to do that several times in the past. But when you do that, to that extent also the protection will be more effective. All this is to say you don't have to fear. You don't need to be living in fear, oh there might be an accident. Most of us are not doing anything that may require some great attack.

But when specially when what you are doing has a special value, there is a work to be done on which many events are held, then sometimes one tends to be more vulnerable to forces which want to delay. And in such cases it is good to be conscious, it is good to invoke the protection and to hold the receptivity. During the circumstances which are more general, calamities, financial and other issues which are not personal, they are collective, the protection can still act as we saw in the case of the train. But it doesn’t mean that the destruction is avoided entirely always. It can happen, it may not happen, depends also on the level of the nature of the intervention.

If tomorrow for example, the global banking system collapses, well it affects everybody, everybody's account. But if you have savings which are outside the banking system, let's say in forms of property or gold, well those are not affected directly. But if the government passes a law that seizes your gold, well there is not much you could do there.

So, there are things which you cannot avoid because that's part of a system of the physical organisation of life. A tsunami will mean water coming. You can't have a patch where there is no water. Although that is possible, it would be a miraculous intervention but very rarely required or used.

(1:35:55):

So what generally would happen is we are part of a collectivity, certain things will affect us in the circumstances of today's life. But if we are open and receptive, we would be guided sometimes even to avoid, even to avoid and to take preemptive action even occasionally. But that requires already for us to have developed sufficient clarity of receptivity of knowledge of intuition to have to be able to receive that kind of guidance.

You see animals have that instinct. The earthquake is coming, they go the other way. How do they know?

Well, that's the instinctive push. We have lost the instinct but we have not awakened the intuition. We're somewhere in between. And so the help is there, yes. The Grace is there, yes. The protection is there. You can open yourself, be more receptive, call for it where necessary and therefore be more protected, guided, assisted, helped in the circumstances.

In a sense, this process is also the essence of the Yoga process: to open yourself more in all the parts, to become more receptive to a force in all the parts; not just for danger, not just for help in a situation. So I would suggest rather than focusing on danger, fear and then the need to call for help because you have a fear or danger, set aside the fear because fear tends to call the very thing that you fear. Instead, concentrate on the process itself of the sadhana, which means opening, receiving, giving yourself more and more completely etc. all of which would automatically bring the result of the protection, make it effective. But focus instead on the sadhana and let each day for you be a conscious step in deepening your relationship with the Divine, directly within you in your consciousness and then externally in the form and activity of your life.

What that means for you, in what way that deepening happens, in what way the Divine influence fills your life more and more, may vary with each person and with the form of work and activity you feel drawn to.

Find your relationship, find your steps, find your references. But let each day feel one little step, one little more. Sometimes your whole day has got washed away in the rush of pressure of work and you feel you did nothing consciously, don't worry. Right now, before you go to sleep, when you look back and say, ‘ah, I did nothing, the whole day was mechanically driven, reactive’, right now, in the next 10 seconds, I can be fully conscious and open myself in full awareness with a movement of self giving, in a deep quiet, joy of self-giving and love and gratitude. Ten minutes of intense immersion in her Presence. And then slide into sleep. One minute, ten seconds, doesn't matter what duration, doesn't matter what happened during the day, this is yours, now, here. And that would be the step of that day which would be your conscious step in your sadhana. Again, duration is not important, the degree, depth of immersion is important. You can do in 10 seconds what might take 10 hours of the day. But you could do it in 10 seconds and you would have done something worthwhile for that day, isn't it? Let this be our reference.

And so this would be a good point to pause upon and we may use the next 30 seconds in a quiet collective concentration, in aspiration, in immersion, in self-giving, in gratitude and in love to the Divine Mother altogether.

(1:41:39):

Namaste and thank you to all.

[Alina] Namaste, thank you.