EWS #83 Questions from Viewers (26)  - on Spiritual Life - 6

Sept 11, 2021

Alina (0:00:00):
Namaste and good evening to everyone. We welcome you. We welcome you all to the continuing series, Evenings with Sraddhalu. My name is Alina and together with Joel we will be hosting this evening with Sraddhalu. Namaste, Sraddhalu.

[Sraddhalu] Namaste.

Namaste, Joel.

[Joel] Namaste.

We are happy to be back and continue our series. And we would kindly remind you if you have any questions, please address to the email integralstudies.in[at]gmail.com. Today we will continue the series on Spiritual life part six. And I will start with a question received from Vyjayanthi: ‘My question is about blocks encountered while concentrating on the heart centre when seeking to reach within, clearing of which would consequently lead to bridging existing gaps. Could you speak of what generally creates these different types of blockages? What are the most recurrent blocks commonly found in people? Mother's Grace and Force and Light would of course clear all of this, hidden or apparent’. It's a beautiful question addressed on the psychic being.

Sraddhalu (0:01:58):
Yes, it's a very important question because the inward movement is one of the two most important movements in the yoga, the second being the upward opening. In a sense, all of yoga can be reduced to these two movements, an inward opening that takes you deeper through many layers of consciousness, eventually all the way to the psychic being and the support of the Self behind and then there is the upward movement which is the opening to higher levels of consciousness all the way to the highest and in each there is a widening, deepening and an opening to fundamentally new powers of consciousness or powers which now act more freely in their own cosmic and higher domains from which there is a descent of these influences into us. These two movements are complementary. The inward movement with a first interiorization makes it easier to open higher. The upward movement and particularly its descent and influence in us helps us to further deepen and establish. In the relationship there is another important factor which is unique to the Integral Yoga where the goal is a transformation. That means the very substance of your consciousness has to undergo change. Now this is not necessary in most of the ascetic paths. Although some have it by implication or as a secondary movement, but still the goal there is to assist in the withdrawal. But here the goal being to manifest a higher consciousness and a deeper truth. The outer material is insufficient to be able to contain or express those things we seek to express. The outer substance itself must undergo a change for the capacity of the inner to be able to freely express.

I'll give an example here. In the monkey there is a part which is intuitive. It acts through the monkey mind to guide it but the monkey mind is too narrow, too physically rooted for the intuition to be able to express even the power of intellect of the human intelligence. The potential capacity exists in the intuition but is unable to manifest in the vehicle, the machinery available of the monkey mind. The limitation being not only to some extent in the biology but much more in the mentality of the substance of monkey mind. Biologically as you know we are pretty close as humans and monkeys. Apes they say we share something like 97.5% of the genes. The brain structure is pretty much the same. Even the neuronal cells are pretty much the same. So what makes the monkey mind limited? The substance of mind itself. The mind substance in which thought patterns develop is too dense, too rigid, in its elasticity too rigid and too clouded by the emotions which fill the mind. This is not too different from an unrefined human mind. We are not too different from the monkey there. If you threaten somebody, create fear, suddenly the thinking power is totally clouded and there is a rush of reaction, emotion, instinct, survival. The substance itself has to become more pure, more clear and freed from the emotional influence for it to be able to embody the intellect, which then the intuition working from behind can gradually form or at the very least can put forward certain patterns of thought which begin to organise the intellect.

Sraddhalu (0:06:46):

So the key idea here is the potential being there even as spiritually, if the vehicle is too dense, too rigid, too clouded, too mixed, it cannot act. And so the purification first, which itself has two elements. One is the separation of the mixture of emotions from mind, for example, to allow each layer to act by itself. And second is to teach those layers to not be influenced by anything else except the deeper and higher parts. That's the essence of purification, these two movements. And then the deeper and higher can act and refine the substance, make it more lit up, more plastic, more refined, more capable and so on. This in-to-out movement and up-to-down movement are the two things which change. The in-to-out when you go within first, there is an opening to the higher, yes, but there's also the influence of the inner and particularly the psychic influence which coming out makes the substance of your mind, vital and even physical more conscious, more aspiring and awakens in them a familiarity and sense of closeness with the Divine. So the substance which would normally be very rebellious, rigid now softens up and even begins to aspire and say yes, I would like to have that. But that's not enough to transform, that's only the base. The higher upward movement liberates the consciousness and then it descending with a higher freer consciousness can now take up this material, fill it with light, make it transparent, make it elastic and responsive, transform.

So transformation cannot happen without the descending movement. But the transformation itself would normally experience a great resistance. If you take clay and try to put water and then make it soft, there are parts in the clay which are hard, which don't soak in the water. You have to crush them, break them and then they become powdery and then they soak the water. That resistance is of two kinds. One is this rigidity of the clay. The other is an active rebellion. This is no, I don't want the light, it pulls back, pushes the light or turns away. There's another variation which is it takes the light and distorts it to suit its own purpose. But these are broadly three categories of distortion. All three are easily dealt with if the psychic influence is already there because then the clay now says, ah yes I want the water, so the resistant parts open themselves, they do not need to be crushed. The rebellious element which says I don't want, which pulls back, that has been turned already and says I want that, so it gives itself, and the distortion which would happen to use the higher light for its own lesser purposes cannot happen because the psychic wants what is true. So in the nature of the yoga practice both are necessary but if the psychic influence is already there it makes everything else much easier and safer. Otherwise the transforming energy will experience resistances. So this question is extremely important because it is about the inward movement which would normally open us to the psychic presence or its influence at least. Later in subsequent sessions we will go deeper into these two movements and also certain practices around them. But this is like a first base of our start.

Sraddhalu (0:10:49):

So her question is that as one begins to concentrate in the heart centre, she speaks of blocks and the need to clear blocks and gaps which are bridged. And what are the different types of blocks? What are the most recurrent blocks commonly found in people? I don't know if I am competent to make a comprehensive list of types and I would perhaps suggest not to do that because in the nature of the inner and higher ranges of consciousness, what you choose to pay attention to tends to acquire greater force and persistence. This you see very easily in the psychological field, in the psychiatric field. When someone has a problem and they start obsessing over the problem, it only helps to fix the problem more. If they ignore the problem or turn away from it and focus on something else which they want, they won't necessarily say solution but even something else that they like. The problem suddenly thins out, even fades away sometimes. So the principle here is whatever you give importance to, you're giving energy to, you're feeding it and it grows stronger.

So I would suggest not to try to make a list of different kinds of blocks. Rather whatever blocks come, deal with it as it is, without thinking, oh it is that type and now I must manage it in that specific way. As you walk on your journey of life, on the road, there is a little bump, what do you do? you climb over it, you go around it or you cut a passage through it. You don't stop to analyse what is this material, why is it here, who put it, what might be the suggestion or deeper meaning of it. Well, it's there, you just move on, the easiest way around. Because dealing with it is not important, that's not necessary. Rather find a way around it and the influence from within or from above will deal with that of its own and that is the better way to do. But still I'm going to touch upon the question itself of blocks. Broadly touching upon what may be experienced in the sense of blocks and ways to deal with it. It's not really describing what causes the blocks in a psychological way, but just the way we experience it. In my observation, one of the most common difficulties people have in an inward movement is simply the lack of familiarity with the movement. We are so fixated in the body and its sensations that when somebody says in, you look inside. Oh here? Which part? What's the sensation in the body? You're feeling the skin sensation. Oh inside there? That must be my heart. Oh no, it's next to my heart. It's behind my sternum, how many centimetres in. So the tendency of the mind just from past habit is to fixate on the physical space and the physical sensation. When in fact the inward movement is not in the physical body but in the subtle body in the inner awareness, in the psychological awareness itself.

So I have seen for example people going quite deep within in terms of state of consciousness but they'll say I didn't feel like I went deep I was right here but the state was deep. So that seems to be to me the most common difficulty and the simple way around it don't focus on your body. Somewhere here [points to the heart region], don't even focus on exact location, is where you feel the devotion or the love for the Divine. Become aware of it. Become aware of the love, become aware of the devotion or if that is your easier way, become aware of a stillness and a quiet, in a relaxed state. And then let your attention flow, gather, centre itself more and more in that. And then slowly drift in, lean in, let yourself be drawn into that immersion. That would be the way. At some point later, you can look back and say, Ah yes, that whole movement took place. There was no physical space, no physical movement. It was just a deepening of the immersion itself. And sometimes you know you have deepened in immersion because it felt as if everything else faded away, everything else became distant. Somehow you didn't notice the sounds, the world itself was far or not interesting or even ceased to exist for you while you were in that concentration. And then when you came back from there you said, ‘ah okay, where am I’, it's like coming out from deep sleep sometimes but inward you were conscious it was not a sleep state you were fully aware of that immersion.

Sraddhalu (0:16:40):

The second kind of difficulty which may come up in the block as a block would be a disturbance of emotions, so that's already in the psychological space, but when I turn to feel, I don't feel the love and devotion. I feel this agitation, upset, fear, anger or whatever other disturbance or even strong emotion of some kind. Even affection is a strong emotion and that is so strong that there's nothing else behind or beyond it. So the intensity of it becomes like the barrier. In that case simply become quiet. Wait for the emotion to pass or if you have had prior practice of or experiences of something deeper, remember that and as if feel that state in its remembrance behind the emotions. So the key to the inward movement is to go behind emotions. If you're able to feel what that feels like, that's your way. So here are emotions. Even devotion as an emotion is a block, which is the reason why the mother used to discourage from devotionalism, if I may use that term where people get an excitation in singing bhajans and they go as they sing they get, you know the body starts swaying and agitating and exciting. I've seen so many times when people start a prayer even a devotional singing, they start initially with the concentration and devotion and then at some point as the rhythm of the song builds, they start swaying and clapping and immediately this agitation covers and blocks that deeper movement. It's very common in all forms of temple worship and popular chanting. So you become very quiet. If you feel emotions, fine, just make them as quiet as possible and feel behind them, in a part which is not emotional but which is simply still. So rather than struggling with what is the block or barrier, you simply go behind it and stay there. After a while, either emotion will subside or you won't notice it and it doesn't matter if it continues. You are there and from there you turn deeper and drift inward in the immersion of the devotion or love for the Divine. So as a practice, the first movement of stilling and becoming quiet is extremely helpful because it stills all the emotional disturbance. If you are unable to be fully quiet, become as quiet as possible, feel behind and then go deeper and then often the inward movement will bring a deeper stillness which will clear the emotions. This would be the second kind of, let's say, difficulty.

The third is in the inward movement itself. You go quite deep. You are there and somehow it feels you can't go deeper. And you don't know why. You are simply aware and there is this. You are deep inside. You feel the bhakti. You feel the devotion or you just feel a stillness, sacred, pure and you're there. But it's not it. You know it's not it and yet there's nothing more you can do. At such times, simply wait. Wait if you can, feel or remember the Mother's presence, invoke her help, but keep your inward turn and intention with a quiet persistence. There is more to happen, it will happen, hold that. And at that point either spontaneously you would feel the inward movement further taking you, it will begin again or it will simply settle in a deeper calm and stillness and that's all you will have for that day until next time.

When you have done this enough times you will find there is a further possibility to practise when you are there and now you feel a block, a barrier, you wait, call for the Mother's presence and help. If needed, ask her to draw you deeper and either it happens spontaneously or after a while you notice you are here. Let's say there's a barrier as if you can't go deeper. In your aspiration to go deeper, you feel as if what is beyond the barrier, as if your attention goes there. You may be here, but your attention is there. And this is the interesting thing, the great secret of the sadhana, where you place your attention is where a part of you already is, because attention is your consciousness. So when you put your attention there, part of you is there. Wait, stay there and then after that let that part begin to go deeper, drifting deeper. There will be kind of a splitting or a kind of a thinning in awareness and that's fine. Just let it happen and let it go deeper.

Sraddhalu (0:22:50):
I'll explain this. Normally, I would not want to explain too much until the experience is had because otherwise the explanations interfere with an experience so normally I would wait for an experience to be had and then discuss what it meant but still here since it is a general discussion. What happens is in the inward movement, there is a thinning of layers. You see on the surface outside part of us, we are almost completely identified with the physical body and so there is a certain density associated with the physical body which is part of our awareness. As you go deeper inside there is a thinning. The psychic presence itself is essentially free of form, essentially free of the physical substance, vital substance and mental substance. It is the essence of each of these and as a sense it is not bound to these things. So how something which does not have the rigidity, density and substantiality in form, well how do you grasp something which is not rigid? How do you hold air for example? You can't. You can hold sand or a stone which is rigid but you try to hold water and the water leaks out through your fingers. You try to hold air, not even feel it but what can push air? Air can push air. Water can push water or stone can push stone. What I'm pointing to is, like touches like. Unlike passes through unlike. This is the world of form and so forms collide because form is first. But in the psychological domains, in the domain of emotion or thought or pure consciousness, everything permeates. What touches is similarity of consciousness. Essential consciousness touches or knows essential consciousness. Rigid consciousness will only impact rigid consciousness. Refined consciousness is attracted to or feels refined consciousness. So what happens in the inward movement is as the consciousness becomes more and more refined, more essential, you are able to go deeper. If you try to go inside with what you already are on the surface, that's what creates the block. You're trying to enter a domain which is of a different grade. You can't. But if at that moment you let go and allow yourself to become of its grade then you enter it and flow on until it reaches a boundary as if now it can't go further because you need to be more refined to go further. At that point you let go and allow yourself to be led, drawn in and more refined and you go still further. And that's the movement, that's the sense of the block. The block is not really a block of something preventing you, it is only the change in refinement of substance. So as you go within, you go as far as you can, you wait, and then you feel that which is deeper within it feels more refined more essential and the moment you do that a part of you is actually there and then that refined part of you which is on the other side continues until it reaches a limit and then you've concentrated something further deeper and the refined part of you which is now there goes further that's the nature of that whole inward movement. So initially it feels strange, it feels vague, it feels unsubstantial because we are used to form, we are used to being in the physical body which is domain of form. As you go deeper, it's not form, it is pure awareness, more and more essential. Get used to it. Your reference will always be as if you are going inward towards Her presence feeling your love for the Divine Mother or feeling the presence of the Divine. That's your reference towards which you go deeper. You find yourself unable to go, pause then go deeper, pause and so on.

So broadly I've described three categories of... I don't want to use the word block but difficulty. If you can take these in sequence, they will cover pretty much every kind of block. There are many kind of blocks which will come from different kinds of emotions or different kinds of disturbance or different kinds of things which fixate you on the body sensation,  doesn't matter. Broadly it comes to this body awareness preventing you from opening to what is consciousness awareness of your love, devotion or pure stillness and quiet of consciousness. Second difficulty is of the disturbance in the emotions of some kind, whatever kind it is. Even if you think it is a block coming from something else, don't worry. They are finally emotional constructions. Become still, go behind it, bypass it, do not engage with it. In fact, one simple way of avoiding emotional blocks or barriers is to not go directly through the chest centre. So if to show you the picture here, somewhere here would be the centre of emotions, let's say, where you feel the emotions. If you go through here, the first thing you encounter is your emotions. And then you have to go behind them or you have to make them quiet. But if you take a point which is about two inches above, somewhere here, not throat, but between the throat and the emotional centre. Somewhere here [points to region between throat and emotional heart] approximately. Exact location is not important. You are bypassing the emotional centre and you begin to go in from there. You will not feel the emotions in the way. And it's as if you will bypass and go directly to an inward movement. Once you're within, it's not a question of here anymore. You're not in the physical body. So location is not important. That's an easy way to avoid it. So physical sensations preventing you from going in is easy. You focus on the devotion and love. Emotional disturbance, bypass, go behind or enter from slightly above to bypass emotional centre.

Sraddhalu (0:30:03):

And the rest is really the real training inside. Go as deep as you can, remain immersed, get habituated and then from that point feel something deeper and deeper and deeper over a few days, over a few weeks, doesn't matter. The importance of getting habituated here is critical because when you first go within the sense of loss of forms of reference therefore also is what bothers most people. If you're already meditating regularly that doesn't bother you so much. But then how do you know where to go inside? What's your reference? And the reference will be that which leads you deeper in the feeling. So your whole focus will be on the feeling of devotion, love or as if the sense of a deep presence that you sense intuitively and towards which you're going and that's your one-pointed focus. It's like in the darkness of the night, distant point of light of the lighthouse or one lantern and you only look at that, keep your focus on that. Remember again where you put attention is where you end up. So don't even bother with exploring the rest, because our purpose is very clear,  get to that first. From there from the centre of the inner awakened psychic influence or presence you can explore all the rest of your inner domains and it's quite fascinating you could find different kinds of emotions, feelings, energies, suggestions, even sometimes what seems like independent formations which are almost like beings, powers. But if you focus on those now, you will lose direction. So keep the focus on that. Mother's presence within you or your deep psychic being or the centre of your aspiration, the centre where you feel the love for the Mother or simply the idea of the sense of the immortal presence that is you. Any of these could be your reference naturally. Hold your focus on that and just keep going deeper deeper pause, deeper deeper pause. Stay there as much as you can and then for the purpose of the integral yoga, the most important movement will not be the inward but the outward.

What people do, and I see this often in people sitting for meditation, you are here, you're concentrated, assuming you're not daydreaming, but you're concentrated somewhere. The alarm goes off or something within says, I should get up. I have an appointment to have some work and straight away you just come out, open your eyes and boom. The result is what you experienced in the deeper part stays there or is lost as you come out immediately. Our goal remember, is to bring that influence into the outer parts. So we're going to as much time as needed to feel what you have in that state a certain depth of purity, stillness, refinement, devotion, consecration, love, stillness, touch of timelessness, whatever you are feeling as your reference at that moment, you hold You hold that, stay in that, immerse, marinate. And then slowly, very slowly, allow that to come out, drift outwards, spread out. As you return to surface awareness, let that vibration slowly glow out, slowly spread. And don't worry if you seem to lose it by the time you reach the surface. The effort you made to spread it out has already extended its influence in to out towards the surface and then when you finally come out you wait, don't open your eyes immediately. That's the point where you lose often the thread. You wait with eyes closed, feel what has come out, feel its sensation. You will feel it almost like a substantial warmth, stillness or presence that spreads and then let it spread out. If you have been concentrating in the region of the chest, let it glow out to fill the chest. Let it fill the head, let it fill the rest of your body, all around you even. Let the vibration spread with eyes closed initially and once it has sufficiently spread even if initially just in the chest, you open your eyes and still hold and if you feel it thins too much you close your eyes again. Recover and then open until you are able to make that bridge that with eyes open you can hold that same awareness on the surface of course but the influence of what came out. Hold this and then you'll find if you suddenly get up and start moving it will again thin out. But over a few days, you'll find you can get up and move and still retain that warmth or glow or influence whatever the way you feel it in stillness here and the result will be its influence will be with you in your activity. It will affect your thoughts, emotions, behaviour. You'll be like a different person just from that. The fact that you brought this influence to the surface is enough to change you. You are not the same person. There is more of that, I will say influence of the psychic which fills your personality and therefore changes it.

Sraddhalu (0:35:55):
So this will be broadly the approach I would suggest. Of course at any point where you feel some difficulty, simply remember the Mother, call for her help and you'll find it just immediately dissolves and things move again. Now the questioner starts with this question about concentrating in the heart centre. But some people find it difficult to concentrate here. Some people find it easier to concentrate in the head, centre of forehead typically. And so the inward concentration, because it's a psychic being, it is not tied to just the heart centre, but even from any centre you could go towards it. So for those people who find it very difficult to concentrate here, I would say simply start from where you are in the centre of the head, forehead typically, and from there turn your attention inward with the same idea to become conscious of the part within you where you feel your deepest most essential aspiration for the Divine where you feel the love for the Divine Mother whatever form it takes and from there you will follow exactly the same process we described. The entry point only is different; it has a qualitative different in quality of consciousness because it's a more mental entry, here it is a more emotional grade of consciousness but eventually you come to the same. For those of you who find it easy from here [head] but not so comfortable here [heart], I will say take the trouble later to make an entry from here also. Eventually you should be able to enter from both and start with that which is easiest. The outward movement will be your most important reference. Over time the deepening will grow but with it the quality and the sustained influence of what is touched within will increase also and the result of it is a more rapid change in your consciousness, in your personality, in your behaviour, than you can imagine. What would normally take you many years of effort, you will find changes spontaneously and I will even say effortlessly, because it does, the influence coming out changes you, within a few weeks even depending on the nature of your effort and the link that you are able to make. So this is a definitely worthwhile exercise. I will perhaps not describe this exercise in as much detail in subsequent discussions of the yoga practices and I'll refer to this particular session as being the more detailed one but we will refer to it later when we speak of the two different movements and their complementary effects in much more detail over the next few weeks. But I would suggest for this to be the starting point for those of you who feel inclined to develop this.

Alina (0:39:09):
Thank you very much. It was a very meaningful suggestion to start a practice on our own. I will further continue with a related question from Kwasi: ‘Are these not responsible for the pain on some parts of the body, or sudden swaying of the body during meditation?’. I think it's very closely related, we could give it an answer thank you.

Sraddhalu (0:39:44):
Often some people feel in concentrating intensely or deeply they feel some tension in the body and for some people intensifying the concentration increases the tension or the pain. In most cases this is purely from an association of body with concentration or state of concentration. The association can needs to be separated. I'll give another example. If for example you're asked to concentrate at the centre of the forehead, most people you'll see automatically turn their eyes to the forehead. Now if you hold that long enough, your eyes will start hurting. If you let go of your eyes and just bring attention here, and your eyes stay where they are, no tension, no discomfort, isn't it? But some people, if you ask them to concentrate on the top of the head, the eyes start looking at the top of the head. This is purely an association from the physical consciousness being used to turning the eyes to wherever you put attention. Oh look at that! I put attention there, my eyes have to look there. But when you turn in, look at inside, well the eyes can't turn around. So they get into a state of strain and tension. That's or something of that is the primary cause of most kinds of pain in different parts of the body when you concentrate or when you sit for meditation. Somebody else sits tightly and after a while either the neck hurts, shoulders hurt or some part of the back or base of the spine where you're seated there's a pressure or just a state of tension which happens in the chest, a constriction because you're concentrating in the chest. But all of these are entirely unnecessary and prevent you from being able to concentrate or go deep.

So the first thing I would recommend is to relax the whole body. In fact, depending on the goal of the meditation, you would use a different posture completely. Unfortunately, there's a lot of mixture from different traditions without understanding the differences in objectives. So I see a lot of people who will sit for meditation how? Cross-legged, often in the lotus pose, spine straight, head erect, eyes closed. And the rigidity of the posture often becomes for them a measure of the intensity of the concentration. And if for some time their body relaxes or they're tired, they say, oh I can't concentrate. No, the concentration is of the mind or the awareness. It has nothing to do with posture of the body. So that kind of rigid posture is necessary for certain practices of hatha yoga or for certain practices where the goal is to awaken the Kundalini through the spine has to be straight ideally for the best ease of flow. But if your goal is to go within and experience the Divine presence or the psychic being within or to go above the head to experience the higher states of consciousness, body posture is irrelevant. In fact, trying to put body in specialised postures prevents you from being free of the body consciousness to enter those deeper or higher states which are not body consciousness. So I would recommend for you to sit on a chair completely relaxed, so relaxed that if your body, if you close your eyes and fell asleep, you could still remain in that position without falling over. So that means the chair must have support for your arms. Your arms can't be dangling so that they tip over. The chair must have some support for the back and the side so that if you fall asleep you don't fall over, you don't slump. So take a chair which is sufficiently comfortable. I will even say lean back slightly, if your spine curves, well just enough curve that is comfortable, that you can sit for two or three hours and fall asleep without problem. Rest your arms again, hands can be face down or palm up, if palm up is strenuous, let it be face down, does not matter.

Sraddhalu (0:44:18):

Comfort of the body is more important. For this purpose, I am not criticising that practice, that's needed for some other goal, for this purpose and when you're fully relaxed second thing you do relax the whole body I thought I was already relaxed no you're not by habit you're in a state of tension in many parts. So, do a sweep top down, relaxing the face, relaxing the eyes, relaxing the tongue and so on. Hands, you'll find even somewhere in the hands all the way down to the feet. Like a yoga nidra practice but rapidly so that your whole body is completely relaxed. Now you'll find at this stage it's very easy to disengage and go deeper. If your body is tense it's like a thread holding the kite back. Doesn't allow the kite to fly, because it's an awareness, a thread of awareness that pulls you. When it's fully relaxed, you're able easily to go within or into higher poises. And so, any knot of pain in the body is a sign that you have not relaxed that tension before entering. Let it go, let your eyes relax and turn attention without awareness of the eyes and you'll find no strain no tension, so the eyes pointing makes no difference to consciousness in the inner movement.

Second comment is about the swing sudden swing of the body during meditation again that comes from some tension so typically it happens with people who are sitting with their spine erect in Lotus pose or cross-legged and then they are trying to meditate and then perhaps something happens, the body starts swaying and then what happens subconsciously you have the sense of an excitation. Ah, something is happening or any intense experience felt, the body starts getting restless. So you begin to measure the value of the experience in terms of the disturbance of the body and then subconsciously you are beginning to provoke the disturbance because that's your measure. Oh now I'm getting into that state. Oh that feels and the swing starts. In Hatha Yoga sudden swaying or agitation is considered valuable because that's the posture you are taking for the awakening of Kundalini and the Kundalini awakening creates immediate agitation of many energies and the whole thing is operating in the vital body, provoking swaying or other reactions or tremors and you say, ah yes, now it's moving in that direction, it's a good sign, that means things are going. For this purpose, it's the wrong thing. It's preventing you from going deeper. Relax, stop all swaying. If you find your body swaying by past habit, put a firm will, relax the part where the swaying is happening, change the posture so that body is fully relaxed and rested and not in a state of tension. Put an intention, no swaying, no disturbance. You should be able to completely withdraw from the body consciousness with nothing happening there.

I shared my personal experience once. I was in a program where we were doing a collective meditation with a group and I was leading them through a certain process and it was probably the first time I had such a large group because more than 60 or 70 people and so there was as if a need to intensely draw them into that deeper state, many of them were new. I had never met them. They were all strangers to me in a way. So there was a certain anxiety about how much they would be able to receive and so I was, we use this phrase pulling very hard on the experience of the movement, and suddenly because of the intensity of my own concentration there was a breakthrough into a completely different state. It was as if in that moment the whole sense of space and time dissolved and there was a breaking beyond space time. And it's a different kind of an awakening to reality and it was so sudden unexpected and intense that for a moment it was as if the whole reality shook. But the first thought that followed that experience was what if I fall over because the chair did not have a support on the side. The organisers had given me the only chair available and everybody else was on the floor I think and I had not specified. So I said, okay I won't make a scene, I'll just use what's given. But the insecurity, the whole thing, as if the whole universe is swaying, and my body, what happens to my body? All sense of space and time suddenly gone. What happens? You might fall over. It's not thought out. It's just the instinctive consciousness pulling you. I couldn't hold that pause and something came and I, it was dangerous to go back because I don't know what will happen to the body falling. It might. I don't know. It might not. Can't take a chance. What if I go unconscious? There are people listening, I'm speaking. And so all of these things prevented the holding of an experience which otherwise would be extremely valuable. And so I made a decision from that point on always never take a chance. If you're going to go deep, you take a posture which is completely secure and stable and that's it.

Sraddhalu (0:50:09):

So I'm sharing this because when you go into a deeper state, there are many possible experiences that will come and at first some of these are so unusual or new that one loses old senses of perspective. In the opening to the infinite for example, suddenly all sense of form and boundaries are gone. If your body feels insecure at that point, then you will have issues which will prevent you from staying or opening to that consciousness. So let your base be relaxed and firm and you should be able to be free of the body. As long as you remain bound to the body consciousness, deeper and higher states will not be fully accessible. So in order to access them, you will be free of the body consciousness, but later from those states, you will reconnect with the body and infuse that experience, initially the memory of it, but later the experience, and then the light of the experience, the power of the experience until you have the full access to that experience, you live in it with your full awareness in the body. That may take time. Last time I mentioned Ramana Maharshi attaining to Self-realisation in three days but then taking ten years to establish living in that state at all times of life. That takes time perhaps, does not matter because you have an experience which is so worthwhile that whatever time it takes to settle it fully into the rest of you is just a movement of growing joy. So no problem there.

So this coming back to the question, knots responsible for pain in parts of the body or sudden swaying are all very superficial issues. The correct thing would be to disengage from the body consciousness and resolve its tensions by relaxation before you begin the concentration and then hopefully there will be no disturbance at all. If at all something happens or even on your return you find something, some movement, quiet it, calm it. Because the action of the higher upon the lower cannot take place when the lower is restless or agitated. That same thing which is valued in Hatha Yoga practices for the purpose of Kundalini awakening, here is a problem. It prevents transformation or the influence of the higher. Stillness and a receptive awareness is the best in which the higher can act on the lower or the higher experience or the inner experience can settle in the outer parts and stay with you. I think this is the, this would be the best point for us to stop or do we have time?

Alina (0:53:12):
As you wish, we still have 10 minutes to go.

[Sraddhalu] Then we can take Arjit's question.

It was very useful to have such a guidance and useful practices for us. I will end up with Arjit's question on his difficulty: ‘I do not feel like doing any spiritual activity like meditation, japa, etc. I'm going into a dark zone. Please guide how to come out of it. Some tips on sadhana that will help me’. A lot of us encounter in our sadhana, this kind of difficulties where we feel inert and would be very useful to guide us. Thank you.

Sraddhalu (0:54:05):
The questioner has not specified the nature of the dark zone or what is causing this. So I am taking this opportunity to touch upon a whole variety of such experiences, but we must understand they are completely different among them and they would need to be dealt with differently. Now, one of the forms in which this dark zone might happen is because of a certain biological distress. You have very low hormones or you have some deep set psychological or psychiatric issues which tend to make for tendency to lapse into intense depressions which are beyond the control of your normal conscious will. The reason I'm highlighting this first is because it's the other extreme where the problem is rooted more in the biology, and the mind, although it can assert itself to an extent, often finds itself helpless and unable to manage. In such cases you must take recourse to biological support, whatever that may be. If it is an extreme of a pattern which is already embedded, as some people have a bipolar disorder, they swing into extreme dark and so on, well take support of medication to ease the extremes, to bring to some level of stability before you can do something worthwhile with your own consciousness to break that habit and free yourself from that tendency for good. But if at that point the body itself has a problem, well you have to act there as much as from the psychological and higher actions. Do not neglect that where necessary.

I'm assuming it's not biologically based and it is emotionally based. In that case again I'm taking a general case I'm going to touch upon several. You might end up with strong emotional sense of loss. Somebody has passed away or you recently had a severe misunderstanding or separation from somebody whom you loved very much and so there is the sense of loss. As they say a divorce is often experienced like a little death because a part of you which you had identified with is now gone, so part of you has died. Maybe it is something like that that pulls you into a dark zone. Then you have to find ways to redirect your energies to something constructive, something positive. And again the primary support here is not going to be the Spiritual light, although that will be there to the extent you can open to it. But often you can't because of the extreme agitation of emotions. Give it the emotional support. Get into activity which you like. Be with friends who are supportive but not talking about your problem. Engaging in activity which is constructive. If possible and if that's natural for you, reach out to others who are in trouble and distress. Help them and in helping them you forget your problem and during that time you find yourself quite free. Oh there's no difficulty and then you come home you're alone and all the memory and the distress emotional distress comes back. So find your way using these means. There's another type of emotional distress which may lead you into a dark zone which comes from a misalignment of your aspiration with your personality. I have circumstances of life perhaps or tendencies in my nature which don't align with my deeper aspiration and there's a gap. Often this leads to a kind of a depression. It leads to a kind of sense of loss of purpose or loss of interest in things. And in such a case you have to start introspecting. What is it that you really want? What is it that is for you more important? And then start filling your life with little bits of that, which is important. Maybe you don't have a choice. You have to do all these things because without it the whole system, economic system, family etc would all collapse. I don't have a choice. What do I do? Well, I do whatever is needed for that purpose but the part of me which craves something that I'm missing, give it its satisfaction in small doses. What it is you actually need, you have to introspect and that takes time sometimes. But at first you may say, oh it is this. Having done this for a while, you realise, no, I'm still dissatisfied. Then this was only a first symptom. Go deeper. What is it in this that you were seeking? And so on. Sometimes two or three levels before you discover what you actually go back to what is needed, it's often a small correction of values or priorities which is essential. Why am I doing this? What is it that I like in doing this? Can I get that directly without needing this? And so the process of introspection bit by bit would help you to find. But meanwhile, start doing the things which give you that satisfaction and bring back sense of purpose or deeper meaning to your life.

Sraddhalu (1:00:06)

Often it can simply be a kind of a boredom. I feel my life is stuck. Nothing is happening that's new or valuable. And often that's a sign of a misalignment of the inner and the outer life. So begin to reconnect, go deeper within you, begin to become conscious of the presence or your love for the divine. As that influence begins to grow and fill your life, again the same things you are doing exactly as you are doing them, they become again interesting, joyful, fulfilling. Often the darkness is just the sense of being cut off from the light which is within you and recover that light. And these are the starting points. Love you feel for the Divine or the part where you are aware of your aspiration for something higher or for the Divine. Use these as reference points to go within and reconnect. Life becomes dry, empty, meaningless when disconnected from the Divine presence. When reconnecting, it fills everything with juice of joy and happiness. Form does not change at all. So, in the earlier things we discussed, form change was important. Here it is an essentially an inner correction. There's another kind of dark zone which can happen when in the course of your Spiritual journey, You feel there's a transition that needs to be taken which you are unable to make on your own. So you feel blocked. You have a sense of the Divine presence, but there's a fundamental conflict. A part that refuses to transition and a part that wants to transition and there's a conflict within. First simply observe. Notice what it is. What are these contradictory parts? What are their demands? Simply become aware. Call for help. Remember the Mother. Ask for help. At the very least you will feel Her presence and help even if the situation doesn't change. I remember when I went through one of these pretty extreme situations. I felt abandoned by the Mother. I said I know she is there but I don't feel, I don't feel the help. Everything that could go wrong is wrong in my life and I don't have the capacity to correct it. It had nothing to do with external things. It was all internal. And so one day I was coming down stairs doing some work and I turn and right there in the place where I would normally have done an offering to the Mother, I see her form. Beautiful! Just like that out of the blue, ah, and that's it, but it doesn't change me, it doesn't change my situation, it just gave me some reassurance, I guess She's there.

That's around the time I had that experience which I've mentioned before. I had gone to the Mansa Devi temple in Chandigarh and I saw physically the Mother's form there at a time when I felt most distanced physically, She made sure that She saw because I had as if the access to the higher and deeper was blocked, I couldn't feel. All of these of course are to point out that there's a reassurance given in some form or other. You will read a text and suddenly you'll say, ah yes of course I know I understand but I still can't feel. Doesn't matter. Observe, become conscious of what part in you is conflicting, resisting, wait, ask for help, invoke the help. Often such an extreme crisis, when it is of this kind which I would describe as a Spiritual crisis, is a breakthrough or the preparation or the edge of a breakthrough after which you'll never again have to go through such difficulty, because the hardest part of resistance somewhere is being dealt with. I've given the full spectrum of these kinds of difficulties but do not assume that everything is a Spiritual crisis. It may be primarily emotional or even may have biological base. So deal with those first if they exist. And only if you are completely clear that it is a Spiritual crisis that you will deal with it in this way. Where then you will concentrate, ask for help, even if you feel nothing. Simply do what you can to help you to deepen and to connect. Go into a space where you have the sacred support and the presence. Be with friends with whom you feel that support - Satsangha is the good company of those who share spiritual values. Create around you the protective support in which gradually this transition, this healing, this joining or breakthrough can take place more easily and you are protected.

Sraddhalu (1:05:50):

Because it is often at such times in any of these possible scenarios, because all of them involve some lack of contact with the Divine influence directly, it is at such times that suggestions from outside can come negative, which come with negative suggestions that of course this yoga is so difficult, you can never manage, you will never realise, your life is wasted. It's for those experts or great people to do yoga, you cannot give it up. Or on the other extreme it will say your life is finished, now you have only to kill yourself and get out of it. All these are false. They are not yours. And the simple test is this. Is that what you really want? And your answer will be no. I don't want that. But I don't see any other way. This idea keeps coming in my head. Yes, it keeps coming from outside. It's not yours. What do you truly want? If you go deep within, I want to be free of this problem, that's you. Anything else is not you. Be very clear about this, do not allow any such negative suggestions to come in as your own. They pretend to be yours because they come into your mind and you're so used to thinking anything any thought appearing in you is yours. No, it's not, they're mostly from outside. What do you really want? I want to be free of this. I want to experience the Divine Mother. I want to feel her love. I want to live in closeness with her. Isn't it? That's you. And if you have this, all else is inevitable. Whatever difficulty you may face, if you have this, they will all go away eventually. However dark it may seem, for her, she can cut through anything. And maybe she does, but there are parts in you which rebel and oppose and resist. But she will cut through that also. So it may take a little time. But reach out for Satsanga, especially external support of various kinds. And the person writes that he doesn't feel like doing any Spiritual activity like meditation and japa. If you cannot, don't worry. Just be in a space where you feel nourished and supported. If you can, do what gives you nourishment, whatever that may be. Maybe meditation doesn't help because the moment you turn in, you are in the subjective space of brooding, worry, feeling miserable for yourself or depressed. Avoid that. Japa, if you can do with concentration for a purpose, turned outward even, fine, if it helps you again. Reading, if it helps you to understand, to enjoy, to feel good, please do. Otherwise, listen, meet, interact.

In the worst case where no Spiritual support, fine, use the support of anything which gives you joy. Go and watch a movie, meet with friends, do things where you forget yourself. The tendency for depression, Mother says, is only a form of extreme egoism. As long as you obsess with yourself, that thing exists. The moment you forget yourself, actually the problem vanishes instantly. So do things where you forget yourself. And then afterwards when you come back to yourself, you'll again feel depressed. But observe how easily it was lost and how easily it was regained. You can also lose it as easily as you regained it. So work on that. I think this is a general question and I've tried to give as many variations in the response. But overall one sees that the problem is actually not serious from the other side, from outside you. From within you it seems serious but hold your essential aspiration where you know what you want, your sense of deeper purpose and you know yourself child of the Divine Mother. Cling to that because she is not far away. She is within you and around you and whatever the appearances, the darkness, it's a tiny bubble around you of darkness. Just outside is all the light. It will penetrate, she will cut through, call for help and hold firm, wait if needed, reach out to friends for support, you will come through always, inevitably. Because the power that created the universe is the power that is your Mother and that is within you, in your thoughts, in your emotions, even in your body, so nothing can prevent her help. We will take up some of the other questions which relate to the direct practices from the next session onwards. We can take a few minutes to concentrate.

Sraddhalu  (1:12:00):
Thank you.

[Alina] Thank you.

[Joel] Thank you.