EWS #50: Questions from viewers (3)
Nov 23, 2019
Topics:
Narad (0:00:00):
Namaste and welcome to our continuing series, Evenings with Sraddhalu. Sraddhalu has just returned from a very long trip and in the interim we have received many, many questions from those who watch this program. And I would recommend that if you have questions you may also send them to me at narada12 at gmail.com and we will get to them in the order that we received them. However, there's a very important letter from a friend who has written very very sincerely and very deeply about astrology, and as many of you know, Sraddhalu has done maybe a triple series I think, on astrology, a series on that. So she speaks about her parents going to astrologers since she was 10 years old and though these people have been Mother's devotees for the last 20 years, most decisions are taken on the advice of astrologers. She went through two marriages and is now divorcing a third, all because she took the advice of astrologers. It's a very sad statement. And she wanted to know two things. One was about opening Savitri and seeing if it could give us the guidance, when we open very carefully and fully concentrated, either with a letter opener or a fingernail. And then she wants to know about hatred and ill will towards others. Obviously she has a feeling of very violent rage towards people in her life who have not been very kind to her. Mother would not approve of this, she says, but what do I do with these things?
Sraddhalu (0:04:03):
I found her questions as well as the circumstances she describes to be so common. Maybe it's a bit extreme going through three marriages, but the extreme reliance on astrologers and other such means. And so I thought it would be worth it to discuss this in some detail.
Narad (0:04:07):
But even though she says the parents are Mother's disciples for 20 years, this is strange.
Sraddhalu (0:04:15):
It is. And it just shows, and which I see this in many families, you grow up with photographs of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo in the house, so you end up feeling you are, that's the only thing you know, but you are not really committed to a discipline to grow in consciousness or to deepen your relationship with them or with the Divine. So disciple would be a wrong word, devotee might be a more appropriate word. You know the word is very important. Devotee is one who has devotion, disciple is one who is following a discipline. And one has to review whether we are a disciple or a devotee. Devotees could be millions. They don't expect much or nothing is expected of them. You can be devotee of anything. I can be a devotee of money and my job or my relationships. I am devoted to something and it means nothing by itself other than you have a fixed direction. But disciple is when you are consciously following a discipline and in a spiritual context, it has a different sense. It means you are following a spiritual discipline. And that means each day, you are referring what you do to the spiritual aspiration. And if you are not doing that, then you are not a disciple, you are not following a discipline. You could be a disciple even for learning a skill or for a musical instrument, but you have to do it every day or at least every few days with a certain direction and purpose. Unfortunately quite a large number of people are just nominally devotees even, so when it comes to a real decision rather than turning to a higher source of guidance, they will go through their normal instinctive habitual or whatever current collective fad is existent. And I am using this term specially because one of the forms in which this takes place is what you see today as a Tarot reading, with using playing cards or tarot cards and equivalent variations. There is even a very interesting game which was created by Nirananda. He was a disciple here in the ashram, quite a remarkable man with very deep experiences and insights. He created a game along similar lines, trying to take spiritual principles, converting them into cards, representing different states of consciousness and with a similar idea that you can use it for some kind of previewing or some guidance for the future or for the present situations. And I want to dwell on this a little bit because tarot is one of the fads currently on and unlike astrology, which is much more mathematical, tarot is in the moment. So you go to the person who's going to do a tarot reading with a certain intention with the question and the person lays out cards and, the first card, second third and then depending on variations, they will lay out more on the side and the first card gives you like a first response to your question, second card gives you a modification over that and then you can go into further details and there are many systems even within that and one has to ask a very simple question, if there are many ways of reading the tarot wouldn't it mean that there is something wrong with it. Either there is something which works for everybody, then we can't have many ways. Or what you are reading is not so much the tarot system, but your expectation modifies the response of the cards.
[Narad] And the reader picks up on that.
[Sraddhalu] Exactly. The reader picks up on that, but also your coming with a question makes a situation. So I want to play on this idea a little more, explore this a little more because there's something very important here and then we will see what are its limitations. Think of it this way, right now as you walk in the universe, we think or we are used to thinking of ourselves as separate pieces moving around. What's the reality? The reality is, at this very moment you are linked to everything else in the universe through electromagnetic waves, gravitational waves and I am not speaking of occult energies which is much more deep, much more intense, but at a purely physical level. If you move your hand from here to here, because of this physical movement there is an instant shift taking place of the gravitational field which spans the entire universe and all the stars and all the galaxies move slightly to balance out the gravitational field.
Narad (0:08:54):
The butterfly effect.
Sraddhalu (0:08:57):
And it's not even a butterfly effect which would be a chain of cause and effect. This is instant. It is pure physics. It has to be an instant shift to maintain the gravitational field. In fact, in physics there is a measurement we call inertia. An object that moves has a certain inertia, it has a resistance to change. It's this thing you feel when an object is... you have to push initially there's a pressure and once it picks up speed, you have to push and there's a pressure to slow it down. Change of velocity always involves this resistance, that's inertia. How do you measure the inertia of an object in physics? You do a sum total of the gravitational attraction of the entire universe to this single object and that's the measure of the inertia. It's a very interesting way of looking at it. What all these things, formulae, indicate is we are at this very moment intimately connected with the whole universe and this is with pure gravitational and electromagnetic fields. Beyond that, at the level of our life force, we are much more intimately connected and astrology is primarily drawing on those connections. But the point being, as you move, everything in the universe is moving, however slightly, to be in constant balance. Now at the level of feelings or thoughts, when you have a strong intention, that's also movement, a change. And equally there's a kind of a ripple instantly across the universe. So in a sense what happens, when you have a very strong intention, there is a shift that takes place. If you have a very strong question, there is also a shift that takes place. And methods like this, which are methods of prediction, really pick up on that. And of course the easiest instrument, the most sensitive is the human mind, so the person who is dealing the cards becomes unconsciously an instrument. You shuffle the cards well, whatever comes out is as if a measure of that moment's alignment of your consciousness to the universe. Very simply.
Narad (0:11:06):
Houdini spent years debunking all of these people. But you say there is some value in it.
Sraddhalu (0:11:15):
I am saying there is a rationale to it.
[Narad] A rationale?
[Sraddhalu] Whether it has a value, we will come to that later. Okay. <laughter> So there is a rationale to it. At this very moment, when you have a very strong intention or question, you toss a coin. The coin will in some way represent or reflect your state. Okay? Now the problem is this. When you lay out the card, is it showing you as a reflection, as in a mirror, what is your current state? Or is it showing you guidance for the future? If you go purely by the logic of what I have described, it will be a reflection of your state. So I am, let's say, intensely miserable, pessimistic of my future, I'm facing problems where everything seems to be going wrong. I've just received the worst news possible and I go to the tarot reader with this intention or with this mood. What do you expect will happen? The entire mood of that space is highly negative and as the cards are dealt out, they will reflect my negativity. Meanwhile, I might just get a phone call that says, oh by the way, the information we gave you was wrong, actually you have just won the lottery and everything is fine. But the Tarot reading will pick up what's actually happening in the moment. If by then already there has been a, the winning of the lottery has taken place, it might catch that. To that extent it may reflect a larger situation of which I am not conscious, but at the moment, whatever the circumstance, it reflects.
Narad (0:12:48):
Then what is the work of the medium? How does the medium work?
Sraddhalu (0:12:53):
The medium is as if the person who deals the cards or mixes the cards. There is an alignment. If the person is better tuned in, it better represents. But then the second part is the interpretation. And this is the tricky thing. Let's say you are going for advice, 'I have a piece of land. Should I sell it or should I retain it?'. That's my question. I go to the tarot reader and let's say I get a card that indicates loss. How do you interpret it? Will you interpret it to say you're going to lose money if you sell it or you're just going to lose your land because you're about to sell it? You'll make money but you're going to lose your land. Which one is the interpretation? You can't make out. So I think this lady also shares this example there was an offer for marriage so she opens Savitri and hopes for some guidance and she gets a page which is describing Satyavan meeting Savitri. Ah yes, so this is guidance that I should get married. Think of it now in terms of the rationale maybe just represents the fact that right now there is an intention for marriage in your heart and in circumstances. That's reflecting in the cards or in the book you've opened. How do you interpret it? Is it guidance or is it merely reflection of your hope, expectation, desires?
Narad (0:14:19):
But I understood from her that almost all of this was through astrology. All of these three arranged marriages.
Sraddhalu (0:14:27):
Even in this, whatever the context, even if it's an astrologer and he picks up your moon, the question really is how do you interpret it? If it's merely reflecting, you might as well look in the mirror, recognize what you're thinking and say, ah, this is my guidance. And you justify yourself at any moment. So the question I'm bringing to you is, recognizing that there's a principle behind such exercises, the utility of the exercise itself is highly dubious, highly unreliable. So in my own experience when I was going through certain difficulties I said okay, since Mother has spoken about this kind of, the word in French is sortilège, to pick a page with a marker and then get to a line and then you get an indication. I said fine, let me see what I get. And it was at a time when I had a strong choice for something, let's say desire for something and somewhere within me it conflicted with what I knew to be better and I was drawn in the conflict. So I get an answer which I don't like. So I said, okay let's do best of three, right? So I looked for a second one and this time desperately opening somewhere else. Maybe you don't like this, let's do best of five. But what I also found when I did it with a very clear, blank mind, I would often get things which didn't make sense. It was nothing, it was not clear either way, this way or that way, didn't make sense. And so I found eventually so much depended on how I interpreted the lines or the text or the mood of whatever it is. And that's the space where you have maximum opportunity for self-deception.
[Narad] But we also have to be wide enough to accept that it may be a sign for us that we can't understand.
[Sraddhalu] Yes, simply or that it doesn't matter. From a spiritual perspective it doesn't matter. So I give an example here since we're talking of marriage as an example. My teacher MP Pandit had taken a message to the Mother from somebody who's asked 'should I get married', maybe it was to X or just 'should I get married' generally. And he was sure, knowing the person that the Mother would say no, and Mother's reply was very simple. She said, 'it depends, it depends what is the basis of your marriage and the nature of your relationship. if it's going to help you in your growth it's good if it's not going to help you then don't'. Very simple reference, so in such matters what you see, it's not what you do that matters, it's how you do, it's why you do. If it's whether it aligns with your larger sense of purpose in life and if it does then wonderful, go ahead whatever it is you want to do, If it does not then please avoid it or find ways to different ways to manage it.
[Narad] The feeling I had from this lady's letter was that the astrologer was gospel.
[Sraddhalu] Yes, yes, so this kind of blind reliance of course is the most dangerous. If you meet some of the astrologers, some of the very popular ones, in terms of consciousness, they are so crude, so coarse, so insensitive, I think your pet dog, who is more loving and sensitive would give you a better guidance than this person. And I am using this term because in fact there are ways of doing a reading with animals, with the help of animals. You take a parrot and then you put cards and the parrot picks up a card. What's the parrot doing? You see them on the streets in India. Oh yes. So the parrot goes in, pulls out a card. There are two problems with this whole mechanism. The person who's kept the cards could have written a whole bunch of things, all of them sounding positive. You don't really know what are the options that the parrot can pick up from, right? There's another example you see on the internet. There's an octopus and it's supposed to predict who will win the football match. So they put two balls with the names of the football teams and the octopus goes and hugs one of them. So they take it as a sign that this is the team which will win. Apparently this particular octopus is more accurate than other octopuses.
Sraddhalu (0:18:57):
The point being that the animals similarly reflect the mood of that moment and can tilt one way or other in their behavior or if there are options you put- 'yes, no, maybe' and the parrot picks up. It's like tossing a coin. It is no different from that. And you are more likely to be right tossing a coin than following such a coarse, crude, insensitive astrologer who is only doing it for whatever purpose. So I would, first of all, we have already discussed this, do not rely on astrology or astrologers as a rule. And where they have done that, unfortunately you can see the disaster it has got you too. But when you come to other things, and especially I am taking the example of Savitri because it's Mother who said, you can do this when you need help. I am going to put that in context. She said it because of course it works and it has its value and she gave it as a means. But its application to decide whether I should sell my land or buy my land is a misuse of that. Because Savitri is not a treatise to guide you on how to sell land or buy land. It's a text which is to help you grow in consciousness. When you experience a conflict in your sadhana and there's a choice to be made or some guidance you need for your spiritual growth, you will find it helpful because the text is oriented towards that. If you wanted help for buying or selling land, the coin toss might be more accurate because it's a, but it is as accurate as a reflection of your current state, finally. So I'm going to recommend never to rely on such means. And as for Savitri as a means of help in your sadhana, open, read and allow the consciousness to fill you. That's your relationship with the Divine Mother, with Sri Aurobindo, which helps you grow out, not for an intellectual guidance of doing this or that. That could be not the best use. And I have even seen this. I have gone with a very neutral poise and I found things which made no sense to me for my question. I have gone with a definite intention saying I want a positive answer here. I've got a positive answer. I close it. I say, 'okay now I want a negative answer' and I put a strong intention, I open and I get a negative answer, because finally the book, it's not the job of the book to be guiding you at every step in life. That's the wrong use of it. I've even seen people and this is a real case of a person who has literally taken every decision in their life going for several years based on opening Savitri. Okay, so should we go for dinner to a restaurant this evening? Open Savitri. Ah, Mother wants us to go to dinner. Come on. Come on. This is so ridiculous. And it's such an utter misuse. But the problem what you have done is, you have set aside your common sense. You become a slave of an external agency telling you what you should do at each moment and that's not what you're supposed to be doing in your growth, in your evolution. You want to develop an individualized consciousness, an intelligence, common sense as a base and then a power of intellect above that which can go beyond common sense and then if you are interested in a spiritual evolution then a spiritual guidance which will go still beyond your intelligence. But for that you have to look for it there within you, above you and not through physical devices or other people.
Narad (0:22:40):
And even in Savitri, we have to begin to feel it as mantra. And then everything changes.
Sraddhalu (0:22:48):
And the nature of the help is not again for this mundane decisions of whether to go and eat in a restaurant or whether I should eat idli or dosa. You don't open Savitri to decide, you choose what you want, what you know to be more right. So this to me is not only unhealthy but it is seriously short-circuiting the person's healthy growth of individuality and this comes to a different area now, opens you to danger of being misled. Now let's say, suppose I am in a subtle form and you can't see me. Let's put some being there sitting in a subtle form, who has the ability to influence physical objects, and here you are, you open a book hoping that you're going to get guidance from the Divine and the being now nudges you to this outcome or that outcome. Have you got it from the Divine or from the being? Very simple. The being is invisible; you think it's the Divine. The being is visible and makes you open on a page that he has already planned for. They say, 'oh, you interfered' but if the being is invisible you can't see, so you say 'Ah, the Divine guided me'. Isn't that an error?
[Narad] I hope you would get into these pishachas and rakshasas, because they are a force and they use us.
[Sraddhalu] Yes and they enjoy interfering yes and especially if you're stupid enough to give them that access, then they will interfere. And the moment you say, I have an intelligence which I'm not going to use, or I have a desire, simple desire, whether to go to the restaurant or not, and I don't want to face the fact that it's a choice from a desire, and I want to cover it up with a spiritual mask, and the Mother is going to guide me, and now you're opening yourself to that kind of intrusion. And it's extremely dangerous and if you're going to lead, guide your life by such tossing a coin basically, you can get yourself in very big trouble and I've seen this in the life of the few people who were kind of tending to a bit of an extreme use of this. Even though the book they're using is Savitri, in practice I've seen them make the most silly irrational and wrong decisions. Just whipped around as if by tossing a coin, whipped around through chaotic steps in their life. So rather than using any such external means, start searching for the Divine guidance within you. And the guidance is often going to be very neutral because for the Divine it does not matter whether you go to the restaurant or not. It does not matter whether you eat ice cream or whether you eat rice. What matters is how you eat and what's your relationship, deepening of the relationship with the Divine. Whether you get married or not, what matters is whether it helps you grow in your consciousness. And so start making that your primary reference. And when it comes to decisions which have to do with, let's say, business decisions, should I accept this partnership or that? Should I sell or buy? Then go into that field. If you think you've made mistakes, well, study deeper into the field. Consult somebody who's a specialist in that field. And first step in our evolution is to come out from the animal instinct into a rational human thinking mind where you apply your intelligence and your rationality. Until you have done that and sufficiently stabilized it to try to open to something higher is risky. Because you can easily deceive yourself, I think I've got an intuition when actually it's just your own subliminal desires masked or some whim or fancy you've picked up from the environment. In the discussion we had earlier on astrology, you will recall that incident which I narrated of somebody who was trying to read and I put a thought and he caught the thought and that's happening all around in their environment and as you said there are beings sitting there. So I was taught this and I believe it was a warning that the Mother had given. We were taught this as children that you never boast, I am going to do this. Because the moment you say that, there are these little beings, they are yes, let's see how you do it, and they try to come in harm. But what happened in practice was, in my, because I got this very early in childhood, in the growth of my individuality I had a fear, fear to say, fear to announce in advance an intention precisely because these things would interfere and the result was the fear was causing me more harm than perhaps the thing itself and it's a very subtle balance but I'm pointing these out because all these people who are relying on astrology are living in a fear. They are afraid to face either what life gives them or they are afraid to face their own decisions. They don't want tomorrow to be able to stand up and say, you know what I made a mistake. It's my fault that I got you married to that person. I don't want to take the blame so I pass it on to someone else, to an astrologer or anybody else.
Sraddhalu (0:28:21):
And I have seen this a lot of people. They would approach the Mother and later to many of the senior sadhaks with questions like this because the whole point was to put the responsibility elsewhere so that you are blameless. And then I was observing, in a few cases when it served their interest, they took a decision and did exactly what they wanted when it didn't serve their interest, when there was a conflict they would consult the spiritual representative, teacher, whoever was for them the spiritual symbol and it was all pure avoidance. So this passage of taking responsibility, developing your intellect, intelligence, reason is a necessary phase before you turn to a still higher intuition. But let's say we have done that sufficiently. Now you are sufficiently individualized that you are ready to take responsibility. Yes I made a mistake, it was based on my logic now I recognize my logic was false or it was wrong and it had limitations and I am ready to face that. What's the next step? You turn to something deeper and at that point you have to, the method is to become very quiet, consciously remove from your mind and your emotions all preferences, all prejudices both negative and positive, you cannot say, 'okay, I'm waiting for the right guidance but please give me that guidance not this', it can't be that, you cannot wait with clarity with a dislike for a particular outcome because then you are biased and when the insight comes well it's not going to help. I give an example of a person in the ashram, a very senior person, and it was at a time when there was a bit of a crisis in the community. Somebody had written something against Sri Aurobindo, and when I was speaking to the person, he said, 'I don't feel from within that I should act now'. And I said, 'if you saw somebody going with a knife to attack Sri Aurobindo, will you sit down and wait? I don't feel from within. Or will you just stand up and come in the way, do what is needed?'. If there is a physical attack, if your house is on fire, do you sit down and wait? Do I feel, what is my inner guidance? You do that, which is the most practical thing to do. And the fact is when his own relative was sick or was in trouble with the law, he had gone out of the way, gone out of Pondicherry, paid people, bribed people, got his relative out of trouble. But when it came to Sri Aurobindo, because there were other interests and conflicts, it was like, 'oh, I have to wait for guidance'.
Narad (0:31:19):
This is something we've often heard in the ashram, by senior people also, that 'Mother will do everything, you don't have to do anything. You leave it all to her', and that creates a tamasic position that's almost intractable.
Sraddhalu (0:31:25):
Yes, and it is extremely harmful to Mother's work. And if they are just bothered to read a little bit of Sri Aurobindo, he not only warns you against this tamasic surrender, but he gives you the rationale. I want to, maybe we can discuss this a little bit. If you do nothing, what's going to happen? Everybody else is busy doing something which they want. They're going to succeed. You just open the way for them to do exactly what they want. You say, 'ah yes but the universe will take care of itself'. Yes, of course. They're all part of the universe and the desire of the universal habit, animal instinct, personal ego drives are going to succeed. If you are trying to go above that domain of the animal instinct and access some higher possibility to bring into manifestation something which is out of the norm, you have to make the effort. If you don't make the effort and leave it, then it will all stay within the norm. So you go to the jungle, you do nothing, nature will take care of herself. But what will she do? She will keep the balance of nature which she has kept for the last million years. But now you want to create something which is higher than that balance, someone has to make the effort of rising above nature and that's where you will face resistance also because nature pulls back. She says, 'ah yes, but I am not used to this'. So there are forces which will pull you back. But you just accept that's part of the game, because you are trying to rise above the norm and bring something new. And Sri Aurobindo's guidance was very clear. He said, in the context of the ashram, here if the goal was to withdraw from life, then to do nothing would be appropriate. But he says here our goal is to manifest a new truth against which enormous powers are organized. And if you do nothing and leave the field open, well, they are doing everything possible to stop this truth. So you have to accept that there is going to be a fight, there is going to be a struggle and you have to stand your ground on the strength of the higher purpose and the Divine will. And in that letter Sri Aurobindo says, if the attack was physical, it would be obvious. Just because the attack is psychological, does not make it any less dangerous.
Narad (0:33:58):
I would like to bring up one of the most painful things I have ever heard. When Sri Aurobindo was being demeaned, someone said, then let him come down and resolve the problem.
Sraddhalu (0:34:03):
Yes, and someone sent this to me, a very senior person said, "Who are you to defend Sri Aurobindo? Let Sri Aurobindo come and defend himself". And it was such a shock for me. But you know this kind of loose talk, it's very prevalent, but it is, it comes from people who have already chosen to take a side. And then they find appropriate words to cover up their choice with a spiritual covering and this same vocabulary that says, 'I have to wait for the feeling from within until then I will not act while the house is burning' is again a self-deception. So that's why I said the first level is your practical intellectual common sense. Well first is common sense and then an intellectual ability. House is on fire, you go and put it out. Finished. There are no two ways about it. How do you put it out? Use your intelligence. Will you bring water which is 10 meters away or will you take water which is 1 meter away? These are aspects of the details. But when it comes to a deeper opening or a deeper choice, a deeper guidance for things where it matters, not what food you will eat, there one has to consciously remove that preference. And if you do not do that, even when the guidance comes, you will not know. And I took this example because for the person who said that I am waiting for the guidance, it was obvious the person didn't want to hear the guidance, because it was not convenient and then you don't feel it, you don't hear it and a few years have passed and you still don't get the guidance, no, that's not true, you don't want to hear it. So there's a lot of self deception when it comes to this thing about feelings and then it becomes fashionable and it becomes the cover for things, but if you're sincere then you become very quiet and the guidance which comes from within, from the psychic being is of the character of the stillness of the psychic and so unless you become absolutely still, you don't feel it and when you feel it it's a very gentle nudge, a gentle preference and in that sense it's obvious, 'ah yes, this is what it is and somehow that doesn't feel right'. It comes very quietly. So when asked about how do you know if you are not fooling yourself, my teacher gave a very interesting guidance. He said, what if you don't follow the guidance? What happens? If it's the psychic guidance, it will simply withdraw. It doesn't insist. But if you feel that not following the guidance gives me some kind of a pinch or a pull or push, then you know it's your emotions which masquerade as in a subtle desire. So yes, one has to train oneself to feel and then follow that guidance.
[Narad] I believe I may have spoken of this at another time, but there was someone in the ashram some years ago who would guide people with a pendulum.
[Sraddhalu] And he claimed it was Mother guiding the pendulum.
[Narad] Yes, and it had devastating results. One man died from it. He got so deeply into the dark side. Now someone went to Nolini and told him this story, and Nolini very quietly said, the psychic being is our pendulum.
[Sraddhalu] And Mother had warned that she would never communicate through mediums or through such means, precisely because they are open to imitation. I wanted to use a more modern term, hacking. You see if I'm communicating with you across let's say, I'm messaging you from my mobile phone to yours and in between there is some intelligence agency. They can intercept the communication and change it. So I ask you a question and you send me a yes or no reply. They can intercept that and change the no to yes or yes to no and I will not know the difference. All these means which use indirect representations and symbols or even omens, they are all open to hacking by any of the intermediate powers which have often a better grip on physical things and can easily sway, tilt things here and there. So Mother's guidance was, she will only communicate through the psychic presence. Because that's the one thing nobody can hack into unless they become psychic themselves in which case you are no more driven by a desire will, but the Divine sensitivity.
Narad (0:38:52):
In most of the big cities in America I can speak of this, there are card readers, tarot readers, spiritual advisors often found in the poorer parts of the cities. And I find that they are often, maybe from the Caribbean islands or other places like that. And I wonder how you feel, whether you feel that they are guided by these forces or not.
Sraddhalu (0:39:34):
It's a bit murky there. Unfortunately what happened was in that space in the Caribbean Islands, you probably have heard of many of these strange things in Haiti, there's been a lot of low level black magic. And some of it became part of the pervasive culture of that space. And then of course it moved with the people as they moved around. So there is a lot of reliance on such means. They use the word spirits and then they translate that as spirituality. You see, spirituality as an adjective has the thing to do with spirits. Except these are spirits of the lower vital world. And spirituality is opening to the lower vital world. It's not spirituality as we understand it. They are using the same word but in a completely different way. So it's a very dangerous space and what will happen if you ever meet a person like that, you enter into his space, you feel his presence, you will feel something weird and you know that it deals with very low level things and you would just avoid, you would avoid even that contact or entering that space. And if it is somebody who is truly spiritual in the sense of opening to the Divine presence, then they do not need such means, isn't it? If you live in a consciousness which is primarily intuitive or above, then a given situation, the intuition shows and that's it. You do not need intermediate devices. The moment you are relying on intermediate devices, you are open to being hacked by intermediate beings and it is not spiritual. So if you ask Mother a question, should I do this or that? Well, she just saw and she said what she saw because she lived in that consciousness. A very interesting example, her great grandson had just finished his education. He went to the Mother and as was fashionable at the time, he said, 'I am going to go out and study engineering'. So Mother looks at the future and she says, 'no you should study computers, that's the future'. And so he went he studied computers, came back and they started Aurolec, which was the first one of the first computer companies in the country, among the first two or three. And it was the premier company in the whole country. But that kind of spontaneous direct sight is natural to the awakened consciousness. Anything which involves, wait let me check my cards, no, it's nothing to do with spirituality. But on the other hand there are also people who have mixed intuitions or as I have discussed earlier, the mind reading and they just reflect and you go back very impressed but it doesn't have any of the spiritual insight.
So my recommendation generally coming to this whole question is do not resort to sortilège or guidance from others. First apply your own intelligence and take responsibility for your life. Take your decision. What do you really want? Are you comfortable marrying that person or not? Have you ever asked yourself this instead of asking parents or astrologers? And if you're not comfortable, face the fact that you are not comfortable. And if you are comfortable, say, alright, maybe there is a risk involved, but let me go ahead. And if you feel there are risks, then go through the verification, the validation. Okay, what's my risk? I am worried about X, Y, Z. Let's discuss, let's figure out. But take responsibility for your life without needing to blame others in case things go wrong and without fear for outcomes, first step. Only when you are able to do this can you actually access a deeper and higher guidance because if you start accessing a deeper and higher guidance before that it will always be warped by your fear or by your tendency, need for deception and avoidance. So first step, face your life and then ask for help. And one of the things you can do is you make your decisions which are with your logic with your best understanding and ask for help, 'here I'm about to do this, Mother, show me the way if I'm doing something wrong, help me, show me'.
Sraddhalu (0:43:53):
So having said this as a broad guideline when you have to make a decision you can follow the sequence which can be like a let's say a scheme or algorithm. So first thing when you have to take a decision, if you can wait, wait for at least a day or two or three, because in the moment when you are asked to take a decision, you are not in an ideal state and so wait, but wait with a genuine intention removing from yourself all personal biases and preferences, desires, likes and dislikes, both negative desire and positive desire, make yourself very clear, ask for the guidance and then wait. So generally we say three days, because three days has a sense of, it allows enough time for the current entanglement of energies to get a chance to clear. You see when you are in a state of passion, distress, fear it takes a while before you can be free of it and generally three days is the time when you get free of those entanglements even certain karmic knots which are too tight you get free within generally two or three days and you wait, and when you get a chance you put yourself in the highest poise that you can wait for the ask for the guidance. When it comes you will know and if it does not come and you don't know, well you still have a choice to do something which will be more rational. So suppose you cannot wait three days then that's in the second step in the algorithm, you wait as long as you can and if you don't get a clear answer you rise to your deepest and highest accessible poise whatever that may be, consciously freeing yourself from personal likes dislikes but deepest and highest poise and whatever from there seems to be the most open option, leaving you leeway to to find variations you choose that which gives you the broadest possibility to navigate. And if you can't, well, you go with whatever your best, highest poise tells you, offers you as the clear option. Suppose the thing involves huge personal interests and I am unable to get to my deeper or higher poise, which normally I could have, but now I can't. Alright? Do that which is the most logical, the most rational and follow that. And if you have no choice at all, will you do whatever you have to do? The house is on fire, you don't have a choice, you just do. The question is only how you do, how fast you do, but… And you just do what is required. So if you follow an algorithm like this, the idea is to find the highest axis in the absence of which slightly lower, slightly lower until at a very practical level, you just do what is the most reasonable thing to do. But in all these cases you start with the assumption that whatever you may choose may or may not be the perfect choice but it's a starting point to learn and to grow and it's alright to make mistakes. Life gives you many opportunities to learn, to develop, even when you follow an inner guidance, sometimes in the beginning it's always mixed, and you go through experiences and you learn to distinguish. Ah yes, I got the intuition and I followed it, but the intuition was slightly mixed and I got into trouble, and then after the trouble comes, I knew somewhere inside there was a feeling that said watch out, and now I begin to feel and I recognize that feeling and this feeling and I recognize the difference and after a few occasions I learned to distinguish that fine touch which is the pure intuition or the pure psychic guidance. But you have to go through that, if you have not gone through that, you are not reliable to begin with, you cannot have reliability from the first go. So accept that you will make mistakes and through those mistakes you will learn to refine and purify your own discrimination and that's the way to go forward. I will not even recommend that you use Savitri for guidance in these mundane decisions.
Narad (0:48:17):
We have that lovely line in savitri, "our errors are his steps upon the way", which moves us to another level. We have to complete this lady's question and the last one was on violence.
Sraddhalu (0:48:36):
About hatred. So the question is of course in the context. It's not generally about hatred. But let me broaden this context. You could say how to deal with hatred. That would be a very broad question, but in this case, the hatred is towards people who have messed up her life and she feels, she blames them. First I will point out. Why didn't you speak up? When your parents or when the astrologer said marry X or don't marry Y, why didn't you exercise your intelligence? And if you did not, you have no right to blame them. Your parents followed the advice of astrologers with the same fear that you handed over the responsibility to your parents. And if it's the third time, then obviously you have not learned from your first time. Isn't it? After the first time, at least you should have recognized that you were equally responsible as them. You have acquired the same fear as your parents. Your parents at least have a bigger fear because they're the ones who will be blamed. Your fear is relatively small compared to that. So first recognize that blaming them or getting angry with them is a very convenient way of passing off your own responsibility. And yes, there are situations in life where others have caused us harm, which will make you feel upset, which will make you feel anger. And I'm just going to say that's normal, that's human. So what you need to do is not learn how not to be angry when somebody has caused you harm. That's not the way. The way will be for you to start taking steps to take charge of your life and move out of that situation where you continue to be a victim of X, Y, Z people who cause you harm. Have you taken those steps? If you have not, and you keep sitting there passively and allowing them to harm you, you have not taken the first step necessary. If after you moved out of them, if they start chasing you, you have other means to prevent them from harming you. But did you take that first step at all to get out of harm's way? Unfortunately this kind of question comes from many who have not taken responsibility for their life. Some of them will say, well I am part of a family, I am part of a community, I am part of a social order where I don't have a choice. No, you always have a choice. And it is not in the, let's say, dark ages, middle ages whatever name we give to it, where you would be punished or hung if you didn't obey somebody. Today if the world situation is such you can walk out of any situation, rebuild your life from scratch and nobody can stop you. Well you will lose friends, you will lose certain comforts, you will lose the inheritance which your parents might be using as a lollipop for you. But then you made a choice. By staying with the attraction of the inheritance, you have chosen to suffer this in favor of the inheritance or whatever benefit you got from them, security or whatever. A very few people, maybe in late age, might say, well, I am too old to do a job and survive. Okay, that's a reasonable situation and we don't need to get to that. But in such situations, where the people who have the capacity to build their own life but refuse to and then blame others, there is something wrong which they need to view in themselves. So first getting upset, getting angry against someone who harms you is very legitimate, it is very normal. But why are you allowing them to harm you? And you need to question that.
Sraddhalu (0:52:20):
A very different question is when you get anger as part of your nature. Yes. And then I get angry for no reason. Every time somebody tells me something, every time someone criticizes me, I get angry. Then you have a problem of anger and there are means to work on overcoming your anger. But this is not a problem of anger. This is a problem of entrapment, imprisonment, where you are being abused. And you are choosing to stay in that abusive relationship instead of getting free of it.
[Narad] And you want retribution through violence.
[Sraddhalu] That's the inevitable reaction you have. If you corner a dog, it's going to attack you at some point, and that's what you are doing when you feel cornered. But then why aren't you leaving that space or changing the relationship or telling them, enough of this, I will not accept this kind of abuse. You have to change your circumstances and take charge of your life. Unfortunately, this kind of thing is very common today and especially I see in women who do not have or who have not allowed their individuality to assert. So there are many families, many communities you will see where they would rather keep women slightly subdued, not too individualized because it makes for stable families. Then you know the male is the center of the family, the women are supportive, it makes for a stability. And it would have been fine, maybe even 50 years ago, but today if you find you're unable to operate in that kind of an environment, it's because circumstances have changed. Nature has chosen to develop the individuality equally in women as in men. And if something is going wrong, then you need to recognize that you need to assert your individuality and develop it in a healthy way. Otherwise, what you see in women who have not allowed that healthy development, they start scheming behind, manipulating people, telling one story to one, telling another story to another to get the outcome that they desire. Because that's the only way they can avoid the pushback that society will make if they assert themselves openly. And that's not a healthy individuality. That's a manipulative and perverse individuality.
Narad (0:54:43):
We can be so grateful to Mother that she changed everything. Put women and men on the same level, equal in sports, equal in all areas.
Sraddhalu (0:54:44):
Yes, absolutely. And this was in the 1940s. Yes. She started that whole change. Yes. And you see until then all over the world, women were always held back and subdued and when she started that change, it had this ripple effect all over the world. It shook up the whole social balance and that's alright. We are transitioning into a completely different harmony and a new rhythm where everybody has to develop a healthy individuality. I've equally seen families with men have grown up like this with undeveloped individualities, weak individualities and one example which is quite extreme, I was shocked to see that the boy was afraid to walk out of the house to walk one block alone without someone being with him because the parents had been so protective that never allowed him to experience any responsibility or independence and unfortunately we still have these aberrations but to all those who are at least listening to this already there is a certain level of a need for individualization and healthy growth. You have to review your life, if you find yourself in a relationship or in circumstances where you find some form of abuse or extreme suppression, you have to learn to change the circumstances and it can be done very gently, it can be done very quietly but firmly and with clarity. You do not need to hate somebody because they're just following the habits they have had and you've been following your habits. You do not need to hate somebody. You can start, enter a dialogue or simply assert and say, look, I will do this but I will not accept that you abuse or you criticize constantly or that you're nasty to me or whatever form it is and you have to allow me my freedom to do what I need and I will fit within the context of your expectations. You are worried for me, fine. I will ensure I do what is needed to satisfy your fears. But there are always ways to do it without getting into a reaction. But when you suppress yourself, the reaction is going to be nature pushing to break the knot.
Narad (0:57:01):
To close this session, I would like to suggest to everyone to read the most beautiful essay on marriage by Mother that I have ever seen, ever. There is nothing more beautiful. Mother takes you to one stage and says, but this is not enough. Then you have to go to the next stage and the next stage. She also did not want any marriages in Auroville, because she said if people no longer love each other why should they be held together by a contract?
Sraddhalu (0:57:47):
Yes, and equally she was critical of people switching partners on the wind, getting into fanciful relationships and she said then you live like rabbits you live like animals, where is the human values, even mental values, let alone spiritual values. So it's neither the extreme of living on the moment's desire, impulse and attraction which is purely an animal life, nor is it the other extreme of an imposed mental or social construct that binds you permanently when things have not worked out. And so, obviously when she said that the institution of marriage is over, she said that in the 60s, now that was looking way ahead, today you can see it, so at that time it was not obvious. But she said people will marry but they will not be bound because it's an institutional thing, 'now that I'm married, I'm stuck until I die', it's not, it's no more that and if things don't work out you should be able to part. There are certain types, certain natures who we need to pass even through a couple of relationships before they find their stability and it's a way of learning. But not everybody needs to be doing that. The reference for us should always be what is my deepest and highest reference as I am today or that I can access today in my deepest and highest state and let your decisions be made from there with the knowledge that the Mother is always there to help you and show you even if you make a wrong decision or a mixed decision she will show you and help you out of it but take responsibility now from your deeper and higher poise.
Narad (0:59:36):
Thank you. Namaste.
Sraddhalu (0:59:40):
Namaste.